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The danger with people who sit by passively and act as though the events and attitudes of this age have no direct correlation with the quality of life of the next generation is that they are sadly mistaken. In fact, single-generational thinking (as often typified by those who have chosen to enter into relationships in which they cannot procreate) is to blame for much in our society. These "sadly mistaken" individuals can often be heard making commentary like, "What's the big deal?" and "I don't really care what people do in the privacy of their bedroom," and "In the end does it really even matter?"

I submit to the "sadly mistaken" that yes it does matter.

The dangerous thing about the war on the culture is that it doesn't run around announcing itself. There are no pop-ups next to your television that emerge at the slightest hint of convolution. No one calls you up and says, "Hey, by the way, your child's history book is going to plant seeds of confusion that will require at least 5 years of deprogramming."

No.

Like TLC, the culture war creeps. You know, it keeps itself on the down low. Next thing you know, television is semi-pornographic and 12-year-old girls are having sex. Let's take a stroll down today's culture war lane:

Humans on Display at London Zoo
The AP reports:

The human is "just another primate" eh? Throw out morality, self-control, and conscience. Man is just another primate and therefore subject to all primal urges, right? Add this one to the mounting evidence that the religion of evolutionism (because yes, it is a religion) wants your sensibility.

It's Alright for Kids to Cuss at Teachers
At least that's what a UK school has decided. In an effort to curb foul language, authorities at an upper school in Wellingborough, England have decided to enforce the 5 strikes rule. According to the UK's "Daily Mail," the new policy is as follows:

Charming.

The "Transgeneration"
In case you were looking for reasons not to watch television this season, the Sundance Channel has announced a new show which will follow college students as they seek to "change more than just their major." On this show, the boys are not boys, nor are the girls girls. In fact, each sex wishes it were the opposite. This concept just disturbs me beyond measure. While I am certain this program will be presented in true "feel good tv" format, I wonder how truly far from our original purpose has humanity fallen? Glorified confusion is dangerous no matter how it is served.

PC Pre-School Teachers Wanted
A friend forwarded me this local Craig's List job advertisement for a pre-school teacher which included the phrase, "Applicants must also be familiar with Anti-Bias philosophies." Somehow I don't think this sentence is referring to racial profiling. "Anti-Bias philosophies?" Please.

And the battle ensues....

This site has been sporadically updated, I know. I am one busy girl. As an aside, do you know that it is near impossible for me to read, write, or say the word "sporadically" without conjuring lines from the movie, "Clueless?" If you've seen it, you understand. I'm not going to say much more on that since there is a small part of me that remains somewhat embarrassed by the fact that I've actually watched that movie. Ah the power of the film industry. I digress.

A reader emailed me last week, requesting more "What Ambra is up to/A day in the life" type posts. Not sure I'm willing to go there, but I will tell you this: I take a plethora of vitamins every day (as we all should) and they are easier on the stomach when taken with food. A few minutes ago, I didn't have any food near me save a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. So I grabbed a doughnut and ate it with my vitamins. Tell me that is not funny.

I think I am going to spend a great deal of next week, publicly responding to email Dear Abbey style. From abortion to spanking to Kanye West, my inbox this week has seen some interesting stuff. Why not share it with the world? (Anonymously of course) If you have a request, shoot it my way. I'd be glad to offer my perspective. That is, unless I don't have one.

Though Google's not the first to do it, this is going to rock the globe, man. You have no idea how cool it makes me feel to know that even though it officially launched today, I've been using this program for a few weeks already.

More Buzz:
- PC World
- Sillicon
- BBC News

[Click to Enlarge]

In light of the recent media around the discussion of intelligent design, I found this quote rather interesting. It seems the evolutionist marine biologists who wrote copy for the Vancouver Aquarium signage have disproved their own theory. I snapped this photo of a sign posted next to a tropical fish tank. It read:

Nope. They sure couldn't.

Despite its rave reviews, allegedly honest and non-mocking portrayal of the title character, and successful display of the "triumph of the human spirit" (whatever that is), I'm not about to get excited about a film that frames its main character in such a way that suggests being a 40-year-old virgin represents some sort of inherent problem. The film's tag line, "Better late than never" begs for some tangential statements. Granted, around about 39-years of age, I was probably AC Green's biggest cheerleader. But not because I thought something was wrong with him. I just wanted the man to get his due. With his wife, that is.

The concept of abstinence is finally gaining back some momentum in our society, but the concept of adult virginity is seen as downright peculiar. In a society that trivializes sex almost every chance it gets, a film with such a title can't possibly be taken as a nod to the chaste. I've had my fair share of discussions with people who couldn't even conceptualize "not having sex." I look at some of my guy friends who are virgins (handsome ones too) and I feel like I'm looking at a rare and uncelebrated breed.

I first met Lakita Garth when I was around 13-years-old. At the time she was in her mid-twenties and stood before our youth group and boldly professed to us that she was a virgin. She then rattled off statistics on teenage sexual activity and STDs like it was the alphabet. The girl knew her stuff. Not only that, she was gorgeous. Not only that she was smart, educated, accomplished, and a woman of integrity. Her style was classy and feminine. She was modest but not matronly. As a short and insecure teenager with big feet and braces, I was completely in awe.

I probably heard Lakita speak in person around four times throughout my teenage years. Every time she opened her mouth, her message was consistent. I know there were many factors included in my making a decision to remain a virgin prior to marriage, but without a doubt, I can truly say that Lakita's presence in my life gave me the confidence and the vision to make wise decisions for the future.

As an adult, I watched the former Miss Black California travel around the country speaking, testifying before congress, and regularly appearing on "Politically Incorrect" with Bill what-his-face. She always held her own amid a guest-line up vicious enough to make even a Bible-believing Christian cuss. And they do. I know some.

This all probably seems so insignificant to many, but the question I always ask people is, "What does a virgin look like?" If forced to concoct an image of purity, chances are you see "A young, white, girl." Rarely do we envision a guy, and even more rarely do we envision a person of color. Strange the way that works isn't it? Talk about rage against the machine.

Meanwhile, the collective representation of the "sexuality" of women of color can pretty much be summed up by flipping through a few beauty magazines, turning on the television, or going to the toy store (where you'll find the self-improvement Bratz Dolls complete with big lips, big butts, and of course, LACE THONGS). In a world of bad representation, Lakita broke some major stereotypes in a very public way. She may never get credit for this, today and every day, I salute her for being a trailblazer.

So why all the nostalgia? Well, eleven days ago, at age 36, Ms. Garth's abstinence card was revoked in a major way. She was united in holy matrimony to Mr. Jeff Wright and I'm sure it was well worth the wait. I'm not a big fan of patting people on the back for virginity or abstinence. It doesn't warrant applause or special recognition. But I am a big fan of celebrating the right way to do things so Lakita, get your freak on. And I mean that in the purest of ways.

(Photo courtesy of Crestine Hauser, imprintstudio@msn.com)

Links: In lieu of wedding gifts, Jeff and Lakita opted to build an AIDS orphanage in Uganda. If you feel led, give.

Reader "Terence" asks the following in the comments section of this post:

Any answers?

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Technology for a Better World
As far as I'm concerned, all the money being laundered on finding cures to diseases would be better spent on "The Life Straw." It's one of the many designs nominated for "The Index Awards," an international competition to celebrate practical design and innovation. For only $2, the Life Straw is an invention that could provide drinking water for one person for an entire year. It is absolutely incredible (and brilliant). Check out the list of top nominations which include the Toyota Prius, Google, and the $100 laptop.

The UNcategorized
This June, Paris France debuted book vending machines stocked with classics like HOMER. I'd eat Funyuns before I'd buy "The Odyssey" from a vending machine.

New to me blog: Dell Gines has impressed me with his content and insight. I also like that he doesn't play political sides.

Gas Prices from Around the World
Check out this table of prices. So you think we have it bad? Try $6.48/gallon in Amsterdam. No wonder they all ride bikes.

Rapper 50 Cent Releases a Book
Columnist Gregory Kane takes rapper Curtis James Jackson III (also known as 50 Cent and whom I affectionately call "Creflo Dollar's half-cousin") to task for the "fond embrace" of crime and ignorance in his his new book, "From Pieces to Weight: Once Upon a Time in Southside Queens." The number of times you get shot apparently likens itself to currency.

Tupac's Legacy Goes Altruistic
Here's some irony for your diet. Am I the only one who thinks a "Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts is just a bad idea? The newly opened facility in Stone Mountain, GA has plans set to unveil a bronze memorial statue of Tupac on the anniversary of his death. And get this, the statue will be placed in the center of the "Peace Garden." Enough, I'm getting sick to my stomach. This tripe deserves its own post. Let's all say it together, "Stronghold."

Adulterer Greeting Cards
Nothing says, "I want to cheat on my wife," like a nice greeting card. At least, that is the aim of the new Secret Lover Collection.

Believe it or not, the list of things that truly bother me is incredibly short. It's fun to fake agitated and poke fun at trifling public figures and grown men with neck tattoos who call themselves "Diddy," but in the long run, those people do not pose a major threat, nor do their efforts have any sort of eternal value. Ranting and raving has its place, but when it comes to the realities that keep me up at night, I try if at all possible to keep the list to a minimum. Enter the great right-wing/left-wing debate. Partisan politics is a topic that bothers me to no end.

I've consistently discussed here, my refusal to attach myself to a political party, period. It's not a back-up plan or based on any dissatisfaction with the current political offerings. I am not waiting for something better to come along. I've simply sought fit to diminish the number of worldly labels attached to my name. Especially those God didn't give me. Moreover, I find the nature of political parties inherently twisted. I need to restate this for the sake of new readers who read two posts and think they have me figured out (again, do you see what a mess political parties have made of our ability to think independently, even about each other?).

A very familiar sentiment re-emerged for me today when I read the first sentence of prominent blogger Professor Bainbridge's gripe about the Bush administration:

Within Stephen Bainbridge's thesis is the inherent problem I find with the politics of "sides" based on unclear philosophies: the ubiquitous presence of personal agendas.

My question to Mr. Bainbridge is, "Who is 'us?'" Tossing around the phrase "Conservative" carries with it nearly as much confusion craziness as calling oneself a "Christian" because human beings are prone to define things based on experience instead of truth.

I don't excuse President Bush, and I don't agree with everything in his administration, but never, not once, did I make the mistake of thinking he represented my agenda. Yeah I voted for him, but not because he was going to do everything I wanted. If that were the case, sales tax on shoes would have been eradicated by now. The fact that the president is expected to further the entire "conservative movement" is simply a set-up for failure. That isn't to say that President Bush doesn't hold a great deal of responsibility in the direction of this country. I'm a firm believer in the power of principled leadership and the reality that everything flows from the head down to the people. What's interesting to me however, is how shocked and disappointed people become when their idol-like president hasn't lived up to their standards. He is a man, and he can lie.

The reason the conservative movement can't be furthered on the backs of sole individuals or leaders is because much like the liberal converse, the "conservative movement" as it were, doesn't even know what the "conservative movement" is. Show me the day when conservatives can agree on some core beliefs and I will sell you my first-born child. In other words, it ain't gonna happen.

You see, political parties are inherently selfish. The "greater good of the community" gets buried under agendas, pet issues, money, and me me me. Part of what supposedly makes America great is that everyone, and I mean everyone can have their own cause. This is why PETA members are allowed to mingle with normal people.

Every day, my inbox is flooded with at least 10-25 unsolicited and heavily marketed emails from some political action organization begging me to give money, sign a petition, link their site, show my support, be outraged, call my congressman, march in a parade, write a letter, and when all else fails, pray. Interesting that prayer is always the "last resort" for solving problems.

I've long realized that on most days, people couldn't care less about who you are, where you come from, and what you're all about as long as what you're saying is lining up with the agenda at hand. It's the same here on this blog. People co-sign and Amen themselves silly, and then I write about how the Republican Party has wandered into dangerous territory by thinking it owns the market on righteousness, and people have the audacity to send email informing they've removed me from their "Favorites" list. Right then, I thought my life was over.

Then I read articles like the one recently published in the Washington Post and I get a bit agitated. It reads:

(Side note: Nykola.com featured Adam Hunter long before the Washington Post. Be very impressed.)

I'm not at all comfortable with the notion that young black Americans are abandoning the Democratic party for the Republican party. Shifting unfounded loyalties from one party to another doesn't solve the inconsistencies the "conservative" movement is facing. When the rubber meets the road (or when the funk hits the fan, whichever you prefer) I am convinced that political parties and left/right politics have managed to trivialize nearly ever important issue our country is facing.

I'm not certain what the solution is, but I'm lobbying for more independent voters and thinkers. The reality of what needs to take place in America is so beyond the realm of what we spend our time complaining about, it's not even funny.

I have lots to catch-up on news-wise, but in the meantime, I have officially added Sean Combs to my blacklist. Remember "Vote or Die"? Umm, yeah. Not only is Mr. Combs a media whore, I truly believe he has overly-convinced himself of his own greatness. Today he came onto the "Today Show" and announced live that he was dropping the "P." and changing his name to just "Diddy."

Boy am I glad I tuned in for that announcement.

The Chicago Tribune reports:

May I remind us all that Sean Combs (because I refuse to call a grown man who is not my husband pet names) has not had a hit in nearly half a decade? How about we just call him, "Dummy."

Yeah, that'll do.

The following is a lengthy note to patronizing and high-fallutin' liberal thinkers: Simply put, black people are not dumb.

Nearly a year ago, I came into a new depth of understanding in regards to the social decay that is American liberal thought. Surprisingly enough, I have Michael Moore to thank for this. Despite commonly held beliefs, the man is indeed good for something. In a bold pre-election address on November 1, 2004, Moore wrote the following on his website:

After I dragged myself from under his patronizing high-fallutination*, I came to three conclusions (in no particular order):

1. Listening or even giving credence to anything Michael Moore has to say is like giving an audience to a special-ed monkey.
   
2. Liberals, (white ones in particular) think more highly of themselves than they ought.
   
3. There is a certain segment of progressive America who remain unaware of their sub-conscious convictions that black people are complete idiots.

The arrogance of Moore's missive runs deeper than his own narcissicism (which in and of itself is at Grand Canyon-sized proportions). Every day of the year the events taking place in America confirm suspicion number three.

Let's begin with the recent controversy provoked by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and their recent halt to their "Animal Liberation" campaign which cleverly involved the juxtaposition of images of black slaves being shackled and branded with those of elephants and pigs in similar predicaments. The campaign wasn't complete without a manipulative video to really stir the pot of confusion. In light of such events, it's extremely coincidental that today I received the following email:

I'm not prone to publishing emails, but certain degrees of spoon-fed ignorance need to be nipped in the public bud so as to stop the sickness from spreading. For starters (and this goes to both PETA and Sandra), black people are not animals; we are people. We didn't come from monkeys, apes, or any other primate. We are not the ancestors of homo erectus nor did we arrive on the scene via some chance happening of events or racist evolution theory. We are human beings, and thanks to the sins of some men with too much power, we are probably related to you. Whether it's fish amnesty, the plight of the baby seal, Thanksgiving turkeys, or the extinction of Madagascar hissing cockroaches, one thing remains: no animal's predicament can even venture into the vicinity of the suffering endured by American slaves so please stop the madness.

Alice Walker's "famous-black-person-permission-slip" notwithstanding, blogger Baldilocks eloquently handles this bogus endorsement:

It should also be noted that Alice Walker is a lesbian and a feminist which puts her right in alignment with the opposition being that last I checked, PETA had a sizable monopoly on the the lesbian-boho-anti-armpit-shaving crowd. (Remind me to talk about how the black community glosses over the sexuality of its prominent figures because yes, Luther Vandross was indeed gay and although this has little to do with the topic, I just needed to say that thank you very much).

Elsewhere in America, the battle over Ebonics-based education ensues. Joseph C. Phillips, former "Cosby Show" cast member and new addition to The Conservative Brotherhood wrote a pointed essay called, "Son of Ebonics," which discussed the San Bernardino county school district's decision to pilot a curriculum which incorporates "Ebonics" as "cultural enrichment."

My thoughts on dialect and vernacular aside (my propensity for making up words should clue you in to where I stand on the matter), I remain a member of the angry Bill Cosby school of thought which believes that at the very least, the public education system has a responsibility to equip students to reign in life and be productive members of society. If you live in America and wish to be successful, this means learning the societally agreed upon Standard American English. An educated approach to deviation is inappropriate for secondary school. Can we please just graduate kids with some sentence structure?

There are studies and theories flying around that "Ebonics" is "genetically-based." In fact, The Oakland California school board actually had the audacity to declare "Ebonics" the genetically-based language of black students. The fact that so many people have even considered this theory is simply reprehensible.

The list goes on. Even affirmative action zealots begin to speak of themselves as though they were saviors of the black race. It seems no one is immune to low standards. Condoleezza Rice is smarter, more astute, and more accomplished than the average female professional. She attains one of the highest public positions known to a black woman and her detractors accuse her of prostituting her way there.

The danger of this all isn't that the black community won't be able to overcome the shortcomings of the past. The danger is a supposedly supportive Democratic constituency whose followers don't believe black people are capable of much.

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This weekend, a friend and I took an impromptu trip up to Vancouver, British Columbia Canada. Despite the drunken revelry, it is a very pretty city. I hadn't been in awhile, so I dropped in on the famous Vancouver Aquarium to see the overweight and institutionalized whales we will eventually spend millions of dollars to set free. While reading the notes at the beluga whale exhibits, I just had to snap a photo of the sign which read Apparently, the whales have this one down without confusion. Human beings are the people who can't seem to get this genitalia thing straight. God help us all.

Google Earth
This announcement comes late, but if you don't have Google Earth yet, you MUST download it. That program rocks my world. Now if they would just get it compatible for Macs.

CNet's Top 10 dot-com flops
Topping the list is one of my most missed services, WebVan a home grocery-delivering service. I know, I'm pathetic.

St. Michael Schiavo
Michael Schiavo given "Guardian of the Year" award. That is some serious cow manure if I ever saw it. The gall I tell you, the gall.

Newsflash: Jackson Did It
Apparently the Jackson jurors are telling all. Americans and their book deals. I'm having trouble having pity on two people who want to go on national television and cry because they let a child molester go free. I'm sure the breeze from the cash coming in as they wrack up book sales will dry their pathetic tears.

Harry Belafonte's Definition of "Tyranny"
Linda Chavez sticks it to Harry Belafonte regarding his recent remarks that black Republicans are tyrants. La Shawn Barber had her say too. I shared the stage at a benefit show with Belafonte some years ago. He's a very nice and cordial gentleman, but I think he might need to go back to the dictionary. I find it hilarious that Belafonte has labeled a group with even less power than black Democrats tyrannical.

The Fat Girl's Beauty Pageant
Last week Comedienne Mo'nique (known for flaunting her fuller figure) hosted the first ever "Full-figured Beauty Contest" called "Mo'Nique's F.A.T. Chance." Ahhh, I have mixed feelings on this one. I'll expound later, but in the meantime, I'm going to do something out of character and link a new-age (they call themselves 5-percenters now) blog that mentions the word, 'Allah.' Why? Because he makes some good non-Allahified points about how we wrongly celebrate obesity in America.

Three down, an infinite number to go
So I met another cyber black conservative friend last week. Conservative Brotherhood founder Michael Cobb Bowen recounts the tale of eating dinner and me getting him lost in Seattle last week when he was in town. I must be getting a bad reputation because his second sentence to me was, "Does my outfit pass the test?" Also there's a reference in his post I have to clear up for consistency's sake. For the record, I didn't drink. I don't drink, and I never have. Cobb is even smarter in person than he is on his blog, which pretty much qualifies me for having a kindergarten-level blog.

The question of where the media is headed has always been weighty. When looking towards the future, for me it comes down to one question: how will truth be disseminated? That pretty much encompases everything--truth in reporting, truth in the images presented, truth about the reality of what this world truly needs.

Yesterday, John Johnson, a giant in the black media world passed away at the age of 87. So again the reality of time marches on. The people that once were pillars are no more and we are forced to deal with fact that someone must become responsible for moving us from where we are to where we need to be. Where "we" need to be seems to be up for debate right now, but more on that later.

If you don't know who John Johnson is, let me school you because in the aftershocks of Peter Jennings' passing, I am certain Johnson's legacy will be buried on the news desks. The Johnson Publishing empire is mighty. In 1942, Johnson began Ebony Magazine as his take on the traditional "Life Magazine" with the goal of focusing on black society. The goal of the magazine bounced around from reporting the bad to celebrating the good. In a time when blacks were nearly nonexistent in printed media, Johnson filled a void. Even to this day, you'd be hard-pressed to find a black American household that doesn't have Ebony or Jet Magazine on the coffee table. For most black families, Ebony magazine has become a household staple. Johnson later followed up by launching the smaller Jet magazine as well as the Fashion Fair make-up empire, book-publishing, television production, and more.

As a multimillionaire, in 1982 Johnson was the first black American ever to make the Forbes' list of richest Americans. That's right, even before Oprah. Let us all stop and clap for that please. My thoughts on the current state of Ebony Magazine aside, what I can most respect most about John Johnson was that he ran a family business, and unlike another famous "Johnson," he never sold out (financially, that is). Even today, the company is headed by members of the Johnson family. For his legacy and his contribution to the black community, Johnson should be honored and respected.

Over the last couple of years, however, I've had a difficult time figuring out just what type of message Ebony Magazine has been trying to convey. From cover stories on the "Down Low Culture," and Louis Farrakhan to top bachelor and bachelorette listings, I can't help but be unsatisfied by mediums that mostly seem to do more to entertain, comfort and pseudo-educate than they do to provoke and change. While this isn't necessarily a problem specific to race (I could list off perpetrators of all colors), I do find this reality at work among the few predominately black media institutions presently in operation.

The other day while getting lost and having dinner with Cobb, the founder of The Conservative Brotherhood, we got into an interesting conversation about the future of supposed "black empowerment" media. I shared with him my frustrations about some of the images being portrayed. He too shares my disdain for BET. I don't use the word often but by golly I hate BET. That is, I hate what it represents. In fact, if you want to get in good with me, just start ranting about BET. It's automatic points.

With Robert Johnson, BET founder and president, passing the torch to Debra Lee this year, perhaps there could be a bright future of change on the horizon. Goodness knows, BET has nowhere to go but up. The older I get, the more I am convinced that I don't need to visualize what hell is like. Just watching BET is enough to make me live right. Then again, maybe the problem is inherent. BET isn't black-owned media anymore and there seem to be few higher ups that are disappointed in the current offerings.

If we move over to radio, just this week, Hot 97 FM, one of the top Hip Hop and R&B stations got hit with a $240,000 fine for airing a fine display of decorum they call, "The Slapfest '05," or as a Washington Times op-ed called it:

Classy.

Then there's my ultimate favorite, BlackPlanet.com, which at nearly 16 million users is probably the biggest online portal within the black community. And forgive me forgive me for what I'm about to say, but I've reserved use of this word for when it's entirely appropriate: BlackPlanet is the epitome of hood with a capital 'H.' It's an Internet mess. If there was such a thing as virtual cockroaches, drop-tops and chrome rims, you'd find them on Blackplanet, which isn't an all-black venture, but becomes our responsibility by association of the term "black."

The list goes on, and the status isn't all bad. Though it seems we are at a turning point. Continuing the standard of media that lacks any redeeming values will be at a cost. The pricetag on degrading images is high and could affect generations to come. I pointed out some shortcomings simply to illustrate a point. Johnson's passing is yet another time indicator (for black people especially) of unique opportunity to set the reset the standards of integrity in media. Let's not look back on this time and regret that we had an opportunity to change something we always complained about. Yet I find it funny that somehow I will regret I ever wrote this. Accountability to your words will haunt you until you do your part.

Yikes.

Other bloggers weigh-in:

- George at Negrophile has a phenomenal rundown of links and related resources on the future of black media. I am not worthy.

- La Shawn Barber recalls her mother's stacks of old Ebony magazines. My family has a collection too.

- Booker Rising notes that every black family in America was touched in tome way by Johnson's work.

Let me begin by saying I have never understood why people say, "Rest in Peace." Just what exactly is resting in peace? A corpse? There is nothing about that statement that aligns itself with my worldview on death and the house of flesh left behind when we pass on from this Earth. Nevertheless, I digress. Death for all of us is inevitable, but when I heard that Peter Jennings died last night, I must say, I was a bit taken back. There is some sort of buffer to reality that seems to encompass those with incredible influence on the masses. It's as though historical A-list personalities are invincible to the goings on of life (and death). That notion is probably responsible for more damage than success in America. Tragedy however, is no respecter of persons.

Last night when I found out, my first inclination was to say, "My goodness, yet another one gone?!" It could be just me, but it seems like the last two years have seen more deaths of firmly established public figures than years in the past. The thing that really strikes me is these people aren't just "celebrity-types," but gatekeepers within an era. The list of recent notable deaths is long. This world is run by seasons. We all know the song made famous by "The Byrds," which Pete Seeger co-opted from Ecclesiastes. To everything there is a season.

If you look at the statistics, following periods of high mortality, there is usually an influx of babies born. The season of tremendous loss leads to me believe there is some shifting going on around the corner. As with all events, I often ask myself what impact the death of a public figure has on the living. For one, it leaves us an opportunity to usher in a new era. Many of the anchors (the literal ones and the figurative ones) of the past generation are either passing on or stepping down.

I have to wonder about the direction the next generation will take news media. Let's hope it's going to a much better place.

Other bloggers weigh-in on Jennings' Death this list will be short because linking takes too much energy:
- Digital Karen of Scottsdale notes that Jennings' death was announced in perhaps too much of a world-tragedy-type manner.
- Michelle Malkin has a big run-down of reports
- Technorati's #1 search today is "Peter Jennings." It seems the blogosphere is buzzing.

Since the time I came into common sense, I've had alternative views on "dating." That is to say: with a few exceptions, I generally think it stinks. I'll go one step farther to say that today's methods of "hit it and quit it" rendezvous are partly to blame for the ubiquitous nature of unhealthy marriages in America.

That said, there are some personal tenets of male/female relationships that I'm finding less than common amongst some of my peers. For one, as a woman, I don't "pursue" men. And trust me; I know this is not the common belief system because I have a 17-year-old athlete brother (who if he weren't related to me, and a minor, I would consider a very fine specimen). I see the way the floozy skank jezebels fling themselves at him. Remind me to write about how we're raising a generation of underage bootylicious prostitutes.

When I was growing up, my parents barely let my sister and I even call a guy, let alone ask one out. If a guy wanted in, he had to come correct. To some it sounds extreme, but I'm still young and I've never been pregnant, so I guess it worked. More importantly, there was a principle there that's stuck with me throughout my life: some may go for self-promotion, but it's best to let others pursue you on your own merits. I've taken the same approach to blogging. Plus, when it comes to issues of courtship, engagement and marriage, I guess I'm just old-fashioned. The wedding night's better that way.

Sounds simple enough, but we must never underestimate the complexity of the male mind. And let's just be honest here. If you're a woman and you're breathing, chances are you've been hit on. I don't care what you look like. Every woman has at one point or another, endured the ridiculosity* of what passes for 21st century chivalry.

While most of my guy friends have informed me that I can be "intimidating" at times (seriously people, I'm only 5'2"), it seems there is a certain cross segment of the male population that has absolutely no shame. You know the ones. They pick their wedgies in front of you and try to pick up married women. So it is with that "have you no shame?" sentiment that I kick-off the growing list I shall dub The Nykola.com Men's Guide for How to Never Ever (Ever) Get a Woman. Feel free to add:

1. Hit on a woman while whizzing by her on your childhood bicycle. News flash: you are not Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong has lots of money and therefore can afford for his primary method of transportation to be a two wheeler. You on the other hand, need a job and a vehicle.

   1b. Should the bicycle possess any of the following characteristics, lifelong celibacy is in order: streamers, rims, spinners, bells, a basket, or a banana seat.

2. Yell sweet-nothings at a woman while she is passing your construction site. Could we be more trite?

3. Have more than one-inch of exposed chest hair while in grocery stores and restaurants. Top buttons were created for a reason gentlemen. There's nothing wrong with chest hair (or as I prefer to call it, "Taco Meat"), but there is a time and a place for everything. Not around the food please.

   3b. Does not apply if you are Greek, in which case, who am I to keep you from your heritage?

4. Refuse to wear deodorant. This only applies in the USA.

5. Ask female pedestrians for their phone numbers while zipping by in a car at 75 miles per hour. Now really folks, I have often wondered what comes of these drive-by relationships. Because every woman has surely thought to herself, "Gee, maybe the man of my dreams will come driving by in a hooptie, yell obscenity-laced compliments at me and ask me for my number."

6. Have hair that is both prettier, and longer than the average woman. This is not a Pantene Pro-V commercial. This goes out to all the Yannis and the Snoop Doggs of the world. Very few men can pull off long hair. Chances are you are not one of them. If you are, you had better well be Solomon.

   6b. Does not apply to men with clean dreadlocks.

   Addendum to 6b.: Unless you are white, in which case, please head to your nearest barber as soon as humanly possible.

7. When turned down, suggest that something is wrong with the woman. Trust me, it's not her; it's you.

8. Wax your eyebrows. Does this really need to be said? Only two types of men wax their eyebrows: Flight Attendants and Cheer Leading Captains. Enough said.

   8b. Unless you have a unibrow in which case, wax liberally.

   Addendum to 8b.: (see 3b.)

9. Blow your horn at a woman--especially if you know her.

10. Refer to women you don't know as any of the following (hey, hey you there, baby, sweetheart, mami, ma, shawty, shorty, honey, or chick).

11. Whistle, pssst, or make any audible noises.

More to come. In the meantime folks, we've got to do better.

Previous Monthly Rants:
- How Not to Get a Job
- The State of the Blog Address
- The Point At Which I decide that Most Businesses Suck
- For the Record, Republican doesn't equal "Moral" or "Righteous"
- The Point at Which I Pull that Race Mumbo Jumbo
- Real World Confessional
- My Issues With Air Travel
- The Point At Which I Worship the Wonders of Vicodin

Among the many things I am proud to be, a woman is most certainly one of them. A reality that was once so simple is now made entirely too complicated at the hands of a relative society that tries to redefine itself more than Madonna. For me, being a woman isn't a burden, nor is it a curse or some thorn stuck in my eternal side. I've never been interested in male-bashing or blaming my current status on my gender and its limitations. Our perceived reality is the basis for how we live life. Being a woman is both a blessing and a responsibility that I enjoy every single day of the year. As well I should, since I cannot be anything else.

It is with that attitude that I agreed to be a speaker at the first-annual Blogher Conference.

The following are my reflections on the conference. I apologize in advance for the lack of flowery words and kumbaya around the issue (yeah that's right; I made "kumbaya" a noun so deal), but I'm not on the touchy-feely, "wasn't it great to be around a bunch of bright and talented women?" kick today or any day I have to hear phrases like "Michelle Malkin's husband writes her books," and "Condoleezza Rice is the Sally Hemmings of the 21st century," and "Gosh I sure hate (insert any principled non-white woman of character)," uttered at a supposedly "supportive," all-female gathering.

Talented and bright they were. The least I can say is that Blogher didn't flounder in proving that indeed women are some of the sharpest and most provocative minds on the Internet. Whether or not I agree with the presented brand of sharpness and provocation is an entirely different issue. In fact, it is the case at hand.

I have a problem and maybe you can help me solve it. Is there a point at which 250+ tech-savvy, smart and independent women can come together and the main focus of conversation not be rooted in a feminist perspective? Granted, I knew prior to the conference that I would be in the vocal minority, but if there's one thing that was glaringly evident last weekend, it was the absence of extreme philosophical dissent. Period.

When a person can stand up in one of the sessions and boldly proclaim herself both married and "Polyamorous," to a room that then thunders in applause of approval, it's time to call Houston because we have a severely lop-sided problem.

Although the conference was nonpartisan, throughout the sessions and breakout groups, there were a number of interesting assumptions made, the worst of which were the following:

• Every woman in attendance was pro-choice.
  
• Every woman in attendance was a feminist.
  
• Every woman in attendance had the same working definition of feminism.

Much of the "opening session" was spent debating the question, "Does the A-list really matter?" The A-list of course, refers to the top percentage of bloggers with the most traffic, links, press, yadda yadda, who cares. I understand all the talk about how certain systems are strategic in consistently promoting and working in the favor of men. I am certain there is an online version of the "Boys' Club." I don't question this in the least, but for the love of Moses and Aaron, do not let that define you and can we stop camping out at the mountain of blog-ranking despair. This is America folks. Buck up.

The room seemed equally divided in their answers to if high-rank matters, but what stood out the most to me in the debate was the whining about how the top bloggers never link to lesser-known female blogs and the noticeable absence of a strong female presence in the Technorati Top 100. Which leads me to believe that my 6th tip in the "How to Blog Like a Rockstar" series is spot-on indeed.

The day prior to my session, I had massive facial swelling and my appearance could best be likened to the lovechild of big Carnie Wilson and "The Godfather." I nearly called to cancel, but thankfully most of the swelling went down.

The session in which I participated, "Political Blogging Grows Up," was a cordial dialogue between myself, liberal blogger Roxanne Cooper, moderator Courtney Lowrey, and an audience of about 30, which if my memory serves me right, included both Kevin Drum and Dooce.

We didn't go deep. That's nearly impossible in 60 minutes (although rumor has it that Dan Rather tried a few times). We talked about the monolithic nature of political blogs and the tendency for bloggers to "parrot" whatever issue or lead is being blogged about by the top bloggers of the moment. We also touched on the potential power of weblogs to press beyond appearing exactly like mainstream media (though I fear it may be too late). Nothing provocative or earth-shattering there, but it was good to hear peoples' thoughts. I'll upload the podcast whenever it's released. At least then you can officially hear me proclaim my distaste for Ann Coulter's wardrobe.

I am certain the panel wasn't the flaming match many had hoped for (with different panelists of course). Oh well, the only thing I know how to do is me. I will however say this: for all of Roxanne's toughness on her blog, and although we disagree on nearly everything, she still strikes me as the type of person who would bake you a casserole (or at least buy you one) if you were sick. I could easily sit down and have a meal with her and I don't just say that about anybody. Roxanne, thanks for being a panelist with me.

I give the conference organizers their props. They made up their minds to do something and they did it. Despite my distaste for the one-sided perspective, the conference was executed very well. I learned a few lessons along the way and I feel accountable to share them lest you make the same mistakes:

1. When the professional-looking lady from CNN wants to give you her card and tape you because they're looking for regulars to be on their new program segment about blogs, don't have maxillofacial swelling, mkay?
   
2. Blog business cards are for nerds. I refuse to get any. You should too.
   
3. When lots of cameras are present, avoid quick gesturing because you will end up looking horrible in all your pictures. Roxanne, on the other hand, was a pro poser.
   
4. If you have an Apple iBook, and the person sitting next to you has a brand new 17" Powerbook, it's best to just keep your computer in its measly little case because it will look pathetic next to 17-inches of aluminumy goodness.
   
5. When someone says, "We" in an affinty group setting, always make them define it.

To my question of why there was a liberal slant on everything at Blogher, a reader's comment on Kevin Drum's post-conference re-cap pretty much sums it up for me:True oh true indeed.

(photo courtesy of Dr. Paradox)

While I'm not fond of essays that derive their theses from television shows, humor me for a moment. In spite of Bill Cosby's inability to disconnect his name from scandal and adultery, I will forever extol the virtues of one of the greatest television shows ever created.

Straight from the "Somebody's about to make a whole lot of money" department, I am joyful to announce that the first season of "The Cosby Show" is now available on DVD. Apparently, Cosby himself will have to purchase a DVD player to verify that it's true.

To be honest, I never thought I'd see the day what with the show still in heavy syndication. As a child of the Reagan era, I am probably the biggest "Cosby Show" fan you will ever meet. I have every episode memorized and were there a "Cosby Show" version of Jeopardy, I would be the Ken Jennings of Huxtable family trivia--except I wouldn't be Mormon (or white, or named Ken). Which leads me to a minor caveat:

Beyond pure entertainment (the Gordon Gartrelle shirt episode cracks me up every single time), the enduring nature of "The Cosby Show" can be attributed to a plotline that deals with real-life scenarios and principles common to every family. Minus the real-time references to one-hit-wonder celebrities and philosophical trends of the age, the show has remained timeless. That is, not counting the insane number of times the pubescent Malcolm Jamal Warner wore incredibly tight sweatpants. The eighties need to be burned for that.

Moreover, "The Cosby Show's" ultimate success was its hard-line presentation of traditional family values--the same values that current American television couldn't touch with a 10-foot-magnetized pole. Although many would disagree, I might also add that Cosby's vision for the show managed to do more for black American television representation in 30-minute increments, than D.L. Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer, Bernie Mac, or Damon Wayans have been able to do in their combined lifetimes. In all the fabulosity of the members of the Huxtable family, the fact still stands that we are all the product of extreme dysfunction. Nevertheless, in their own dysfunctional way, the Huxtables presented an attainable standard which every family could emulate.

Some brief points of difference:

A two-parent home. By George, they exist! One male. One female. The display of a black American, functional marriage on national television is a rare commodity, even to this day. Some of our society's most talented and profound members were raised in single-parent homes. Single parents are great, courageous, heroic and strong, but that is not the ultimate design.

The presentation of marriage as a good thing. She loved him. He was wild about her. They didn't "complete" each other. Instead, they complemented each other.

Educated and professional black people who own their home and can afford an $11,000 Ellis Wilson original. One of the continued points of contention with "The Cosby Show" is that it presented an unbelievable and unrealistic scenario. The fact that Clair was a lawyer and Cliff a doctor was just too far-fetched for some people to handle. I find that to be one of the biggest pieces of condescending nonsense (right alongside the notion I heard this weekend that Michelle Malkin's husband writes her books). Seriously, the liberal mindset baffles even me.

Children who respected their parents. Couple that with parents who demand respect. No Supernanny necessary. I always enjoyed the number of times Clair looked like she wanted to clock her 5 children. "Clock" is the more gentile form of "beat."

No Shacking Up. The one time Theo tried to do it, Cliff and Clair weren't having it. On nearly every television show today, you see men and women who are not married living together. It has become the societal norm.

All-Heterosexual Relationships. Enough said.

I could go on. Renee Graham of the Boston Globe presents a fairly balanced view of the show's strengths and weaknesses. Needless to say, I'm getting the DVD. You should too. It will be worth money someday. If not that, it could make a very good dissertation topic.

In related discussion, blogger "Ripclawe" points out that "The Cosby Show" is responsible for two of the greatest quotes in television (edited by me for correctness because I have every.line.memorized.):

andClassic.

Related:
- Lessons from the Huxtables
- The Inevitable Demise of "Method & Red"
- The Cosby Legacy: who will take the baton?
- Cosby Smites His Critics
- Cosby Need Not Make Clarifications
- The Friendless & The Mindless