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Heteronorming : a load of crap
March 2, 2005
"Women, you can have it all - a loving man, devoted husband, loving children, a fabulous career." This is just one of the many sane things recently uttered by Jada Pinkett-Smith, actress and wife of Will Smith when she was honored as "Artist of the Year" by Harvard University's "Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations." I've always appreciated the fact that Jada Pinkett-Smith, although hyphenated, has taken on her husband's name. In Hollywood this is rare. Unfortunately, her sane commentary on family and marriage got her in trouble with the rainbow brigade on Harvard's campus. Her crime? Speaking on the roles of men and women in relationships. The nerve I tell you. The Harvard Crimson reports: After some students were offended by Jada Pinkett Smith's comments at Saturday's Cultural Rhythms show, the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance (BGLTSA) and the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations have begun working together to increase sensitivity toward issues of sexuality at Harvard.
Let's keep in mind that any attempt to define roles of men and women in relationships will be perceived as narrow because we live in an "anything goes" culture that resists order. And yet we have the audacity to wonder why women are running around acting like dudes, and men are gallivanting around the city carrying Louis Vuitton purses. I don't care what "Bravo!" says; there is nothing normal about a man wearing capri pants.
Students said that some of Pinkett-Smith's remarks concerning appropriate gender roles were specific to heterosexual relationships. BGLTSA Co-Chair Jordan B. Woods '06 said that, while many BGLTSA members thought Pinkett Smith’s speech was "motivational," some were insulted because they thought she narrowly defined the roles of men and women in relationships. Confusion. The idea of femininity and masculinity have been rejected, reversed, and skewed by certain aspects of the culture. Even worse, now they're making up words to further validate chaos. According to one of the BGLTSA members present at Pinkett-Smith's speech, "Some of the content was extremely heteronormative, and made BGLTSA members feel uncomfortable." Heteronormative? I want to know what UC Berkeley sociologist coined that term. I say, "Deal." Efforts to water down the institution of marriage should be resisted.
A few weeks ago, someone asked what troubled me about feminism. Among the many reasons I find it disgraceful, I list "the creation of cynical attitudes towards gender roles" as preeminent. Our society balks at the idea that men and women were created for distinct purposes. Never mind that one of us can retain water for nine months only to push a watermelon through a cheerio and the other one can't. Even in a natural illustration, men and women do not perform the same duties. What's illustrated first in the natural is far deeper than anatomy. In feminism, we find that what was once a valid move for equality has resulted in neutralized gender roles that rob the dynamic male/female union of its intended potency and render the family structure useless. Throughout history, it's clear that whenever society has attempted to drastically redefine gender roles, confusion ensues. At this point, I can only hope that Pinkett-Smith won't pander to the plight of the whining inclusionists by apologizing for speaking the truth. 
i LOVE Jada and Big Willie...i am also convinced that a large portion of the gay community doesn't want the rest of the world to be gay...sorry, gay used to mean 'happy'...so be gay as gay can be in your marriage, motherhood and career Jada...your example and willingness to speak JUST may give courage to some young women who look up to you and are struggling with those issues...by the way, in Marine Corps recruiting parlance a BRAVO is someone from a lower mental group as measured by the ASVAB, so that tells you what i think about Bravo! and that men's capri thing... This is the same Harvard that is all over Summers for some mild remarks about possible gender differences in the sciences? People have been telling Summers to "be a man" and stop incessantly apologizing. Maybe Jada can show him how it's done. (We can hope.) Jada does not work at Harvard, while Summers has to lead that group of liberal elitists. I recently came across an interview with Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, and she has some interesting things to say about marriage and gender roles. She also is coming out with a book, 101 Tips for a Happy Marriage. Also, this article about the "priorities" of God, life, choice, sex, and how the world reverses that sequence to their detriment hits the nail on the head. Highly recommended. It's good to know black folk don't have the market cornered on hypersensitivity anymore...LOL!! I think folk need to use COMMON SENSE in combination with ACTUAL LISTENING SKILLS. I also think that folk need to learn how to put things in context. Jada was speaking in context in terms of her life experience, as a heterosexual married woman. If I was a participant at a event where Melissa Etheridge had told the audience that "you can have it all, a partner and a career", then I would have the good sense to know that since she is a lesbian (and this is not a lifestyle discussion, so keep that noise to yourself) then she is more than likely speaking from the context of her experience. Everyone needs to go sit down somewhere. I must confess that I am not good enough at newspeak to have the slightest idea what they are protesting. I am so tempted to make a Cheerio joke, but I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader. Peter: "There's a message in my Alpha Bits! It says "Ooooooooo-ooooooo-oooo!" Brian: "Peter, those are Cheerios." Reality tv hurts my brain. I've always figured that since I watch tv to get away from reality, why watch reality tv? Way to go Ambra! Some of my fellow liberals may scoff at me for saying this, but many of the same feminists who are trying to dilute gender roles also give exhaustive attention to the quest of ending domestic abuse and sexual abuse toward women. Now fighting abuse against women is a worthy cause of course, but if we are going to dilute gender roles then how are we going to have a sympathetic attitude towards women who are abused if there is no difference between them and men? No one would be sympathetic to a man who had been beat down by another man cuz society expects men to fight their own battles; grown men who are sexually abused by other men (in prison or elsewhere) also get no sympathy usually because it's unbecoming in the eyes of society for a man to allow himself to be conquered. I am a strong advocate of fighting domestic abuse, sponsoring safe houses for abused women, and educating society about the harmful effects of sexual abuse against women, but that's because I feel that women have a different biological gender role and because of it, they shouldn't be expected to be able to defend themselves against men. Dissolving the gender roles as some feminists wish to do means acknowleging that women shouldn't get special when they are hurt by men. We cannot have it both ways, either acknowledge that gender roles exist or hold women accountable for defending themselves in violent conflicts with men the way you'd expect a man to. Man, that's something I can't say on the progressive site I blog for; sorry Ambra for using your site for pseudo-anonymously voice my opinions. Ambra: "Never mind that one of us can retain water for nine months only to push a watermelon through a cheerio and the other one can't." I almost busted my gut laughing at that one. That's great! Keep up the great writing. I like women and girls. Is that still O.K.? i believe that if you are homosexual, that it's your right to live your life as you choose and if you wish, to talk about and inform willing listeners of it. and it's Jada's right to speak of marriage in the context that it applies to her. she wasn't berating or trying to say that heterosexuality is right/better than homosexuality, but merely describing her life. AMEN!!!!!! Aw man, you missed your chance! { Comments are now closed for this entry. } |
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See if you can wrap your mind around this one:
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Ambra, I love this one... my response to this post is a resounding "AMEN!!!" Great job. :)