"Desperate Hussies" and other things for which we can thank the Hollywood Foreign Press
January 24, 2005
If you were so unfortunate last weekend as to have devoted three hours of your life to the pageantry and complete and utter waste of time also known as the "Golden Globe Awards", then I feel sorry for you. As it stands, I feel sorry for myself too because I nearly did. However, not before getting completely sick to my stomach due to what seems to be increasing hyper-glorification of reckless behavior.
I've decided that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is full it. What is "it" you ask? Read on.
Many are well aware that the Hollywood Foreign Press, also known as HFPA are the ones behind the Annual Golden Globe Awards, the traditional build-up to the Academy Awards. Normally I wouldn't write about something so incredibly shallow (says the girl who monthly publishes fashion critiques), but the show itself stirs up some topics worth noting.
Among the many awards given out, a few important ones note an overwhelming trend in the moral accountability of Hollywood: it's nonexistent. Any group of individuals that deem the film "Kinsey", a biopic of a pedophile with absolutely no redeeming qualities, as worthy of a "Best Film" nomination are clearly delusional.
For starters, "Desperate Hussies Housewives", a "satire" in which suicide is glorified and slutty married women commit adultery with their gardeners, is one of "the most talked about" new television series and was incidentally a big winner at the Golden Globes for "Best TV Series: Comedy". In addition, four of the show's main characters were nominated for "Best & Supporting Actresses", with two winning.
While many won't find this significant, in an industry where discretion and propriety are fleeting notions, awarding accolades to a show that makes a complete mockery of the sanctity of marriage only confirms that Hollywood is plummeting quickly into the abyss of foolishness and self-destruction.
It gets worse.
"Housewives" as it's marketed, is a vivid and sexually explicit soap opera made for prime-time television. And with that time slot comes a whole new audience of fecund young minds. According to Nielsen ratings, the show "boasted over a million elementary and junior high viewers" in the month of December. This ranks "Housewives" as the top-rated network broadcast television show in the 9-12 age bracket. For whatever sickening reason, cable companies seem to be proud of this statistic. Meanwhile, the HFPA puts its stamp of approval on the show.
Moving on in the moral decay, the other big winner for "Best Television Show: Drama" was the equally grotesque "Nip/Tuck", a show centered on plastic surgery, self-absorbed characters, and the glorification of things such as botched sex changes. Actor Joseph C. Phillips describes the show as:
"...packed full of unlikable characters who make stupid, immoral choices and then whine about the consequences. If this is what now passes for brilliant and provocative television viewers are in trouble."
Unfortunately, the Hollywood Foreign Press thinks it does.
I think it's clicking now. Disgusting = Provocative and Provocative = Brilliant.
Most disappointing was the "Best Supporting Actress" award given to Harvard graduate, Natalie Portman, a 23-year-old budding actress who'd managed to keep all her clothes on in her previous films, but unfortunately, had to play a stripper in the film, "Closer" in order to win some recognition.
Now there's a great message to send to young women everywhere. Study hard, develop your craft, and get nothing. Take off your clothes, and get everything. Perhaps Natalie Portman has been taking lessons from Halle Berry.
Even Jamie Foxx's well-deserved win for "Best Actor" in the film "Ray", could not save the train wreck.
With all the debauchery and lawlessness, it's no wonder why Hollywood is overwhelmingly Liberal. Those mean and crazy fundamentalists might take over and make them do something really crazy like put some clothes on.
And in case you're still wondering, "it" = sin.
Posted by Ambra at January 24, 2005 12:53 AM in Culture
Aw man, you missed your chance!
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TEACHER: "So, little Maryann, what do YOU wanna be when you grow up?"
2nd GRADER: "I wanna be a SKANK!! Just like the cool moms on Desperate Hussies.....being a skank is cool."
TEACHER: "Does you mom know about this?"
2nd GRADER: "I dunno. She's in the storage shed with the gardener & the pool boy........go ask her yourself. What am I, a wannabe skank AND mom's Lojack Car Retrieval System? Geez. I'm a 2nd grader!!"