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It's George and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! In what I'm certain was an effort at embracing the culture, President George Bush--shown here with Chilean President Ricardo Lagos (L) and Russian President Vladimir Putin (R) in Santiago last week--donned a traditional style poncho. Unfortunately, both he and Putin look silly next to President Lagos who wears his quite well.

I think this qualifies for a Fashion Faux Pas.

Some advice: if you ever need a pick-me-up, I highly suggest designing your own holiday reader appreciation card and offering it to people who read your blog because you will get a ton of really really nice emails from people coming out of the woodworks. And even from the NETHERLANDS!

This excerpt from one particular email made me laugh:

"I think you should promote your site as a 'Vicarious Read for Cubical Detainees'"

So with that said, I'm melting like butter budda and am thus taking the cap off how many cards I'll send out. So if anyone else would still like one, you know the drill; send a mailing address to cards@nykola.com.

In honor of the conclusion of what I've called "The National Month of Sorrow", I'd like to highlight this photo, with the following apology to the world:

"I'm sorry that the college culture in America is breeding stupidism, binge-drinking, useless partying and hapless young adults meandering around the streets with no purpose."

The Two Faces of Hip-Hop

My column this week fisks the duality present in the conscience of the hip-hop culture. In short, the leaders of the culture use selective morality also known as relative morality. I always believe that a culture that doesn't draw a line is more dangerous than a culture that is blatantly hedonistic.

Throughout the course of my brief time as a writer, I've generally been able to pin "opponents" by brand. There's the "You're Too Young to Know Anything So Go Back and Finish College First" brand of people. There's also the "I Think You're an Uncle Tom, Coon, Sell-out Because You Talked Bad About Jesse Jackson And it Rubbed Me the Wrong Way" brand of people. Lastly, there's my personal favorite: the "I'm An Atheist and A Democrat and I Think You're Stooopid" brand of people. I am quite familiar with all these schools of thought. However, just when you think you're on top of your game, a new brand emerges. Well, somewhat new to me at least. Earlier this summer, I was introduced to what appears to be the most dangerous of all the brands of opposition: the "I'm a Republican and Am Therefore by Default Righteous and Moral" people. Boy does this one open up a can of worms. These people are dangerous because they are deceived.

For whatever reason (personal attachment perhaps), quite a few individuals have taken umbrage with the fact that A) I am not a Republican and B) I refuse to believe that the sun shines out of the Republican Party's posterior. That said, I feel the need to make something clear: being a Republican does not equate to righteousness or morality any more than being a member of a particular denomination makes someone a follower of Jesus Christ. Republicans are not the saviors of the world; they're not even the saviors of the government. They are a political party capable of wrongdoing like anyone else.

What's more disturbing to me is our society's definition of "Conservatism". Look, I don't pretend to be an expert on these things, but the face of Conservatism in America is in my most humble opinion, sketchy. I say this because from one person to the next, there are a zillion different brands of what it means to profess "Conservative values". It's almost cringe-worthy.

These days, people should be apprehensive about calling themselves any political title with all the poor and confusing representations out there for the naked eye to see.

Take the case of noted homosexual author Andrew Sullivan, whose sexual orientation I point out only because it appears that his entire identity and framework for thinking is wrapped up in it (which is only to be expected). Sullivan has long been touted as a prominent Conservative writer or what I call the "Gay hope of the Right". The "Right" of course, seems to hold on to him with a death grip while simultaneously transmitting the subliminal signal of, "Hey look, you can be a conservative and be gay too so like us please like us, we're not homophobic, really we're not!" And yet, on just about every social issue, Mr. Sullivan and I contend.

Recently, I read one of Sullivan's articles in which he pins Pixar's latest flick "The Incredibles" as too conservative. Apparently, the mother and father figure family representation is just too preachy. Which leads me to the next question of what exactly is everyone trying to "conserve" these days? Conserve what? Conserve who? If I may utilize one of my favorite phrases known to the late nineties, "Bump that." Some of the individuals who claim themselves to be Conservatives are not interested in conserving much of anything let alone traditional values.

Enter this whole idea of people being "socially liberal" and "fiscally conservative". Whatever. I'm not going to get into how much that bothers me because I realize that people are entitled to think and believe whatever they want to. But I will say this: I'm so tired of everyone defining their identity by a political ideology. Throughout my life, I've made a fairly good effort not to allow myself to succumb to the pressure of conforming to other peoples' beliefs about what's right for this country.

I'm tired of the high and mighty attitude that accompanies the Republican Party wherein there too is evil and wickedness and improper motives. It bothers me that on any given day, I can read the words of people who profess to be "Conservative" or "Republican" and want to hurl. Yes, hurl. Because well, I am being reminded of the painful reality that the existence of political parties has given birth to a collective false sense of righteousness that God never intended.

So I'm sorry to all of those who are irritated that I won't worship at the altar of the Republican Party. A political party or ideology will never get my worship (nor should it). Republicans certainly are a sacred cow these days. For the record, Conservative does not equal Republican, nor vice versa. Unfortunately, the idea of what it means to be "Conservative" is up for extensive debate and equating any of these things to morality or righteousness will ultimately be to our demise.

Quite frankly, it's all getting a little disgusting.

(Yes there's a typo in my graphic, it's appreciation, I know. Shuddup okay, I'll change it later). A lonnnnnng time ago, I promised that I'd give my readers a present. Well, the time has now descended upon us and I will hold up my end of the bargain...sorta.

This past week, "we" here at nykola.com headquarters began working on the "First Annual (until I get tired of it or I end this weblog or whichever comes first) Nykola.com Reader Appreciation Holiday Card", prepared and designed from scratch by yours truly with that extra flair of "cooky" and just plain silliness.

So here's how I'm gonna do it, the first 50 undecided number of readers to email their name and mailing address to cards@nykola.com shall receive this lovely handmade token of my appreciation in your mailbox.

Update 11/26: I love you people very much, so I'm going to excercise extreme patience when I say: Please email me more information than just "I want one". A mailing address is fairly favorable (and somewhat necessary) for this operation to go down. Perhaps it seems that I'm stating the obvious...yeah I thought so too 14 hours ago. But never underestimate the complicated nature of the blog reader's mind.

• If you are international, I'll do my very best but I won't make promises.
• If you are a man and you are married, for love's sake, tell your wife ahead of time so she doesn't look suspiciously upon some random black Seattle chick sending her husband a greeting card.
• If you don't feel comfortable sending me (someone who has admitted to you that she urinated on herself at age 16) your address, that's perfectly fine...just don't expect a card.
• Your address will not be sold to a third party (I mean really, what kind of operation do you think I'm running here?) but only used for this purpose, I promise.
• Why just 50? a select number? Because I have bills people. Supplies cost money. So do stamps.
• No powdery substances will be included. I'd never do that. It could totally ruin my credibilty.
• If you've never ever commented before on this site, you too are still eligible for a card.

Lastly, please know this is in the true nothing-in-return-spirit. It's just me holding up my end of the bargain, showing ya'll that my weblog would be a little less pleasant if there weren't people stopping by to read every day.

There are numerous philosophies that surround the morality of birth control. There are some who are staunchly opposed to birth control in all of its forms. Less than a decade ago, this meant condoms, birth control pills, and everything in between. There is a significant debate going on amongst those who feel that even "the pill" is both unhealthy and a hindrance to the body's natural process. These people prefer natural methods of birth control, and usually have upwards of 13 children. More power to them. Today I'm not entirely interested in that debate because I think it to be a matter of personal conviction between a couple (ahem, a married couple) and God. I bring this up because today, birth control has expanded to include the "morning after pill", a last minute attempt to end a would-be pregnancy. Many qualify this as a step further than contraception, but few if any pro-life groups have gone as far as to call it abortion because there is currently no way to know if fertilization has occurred so soon after intercourse. But I'll tell you what I call it--another reason for people to be sexually reckless.

Back in 1999, Wal-Mart caused quite a stir when they decided that their national retail chain of stores would not sell "Preven" (the morning after drug) in any of their pharmacies. They cited it as a business decision. Immediately thereafter, family planning advocates (read: Planned Parenthood) were up in arms. Gloria Feldt, president of Planned Parenthood was noted as saying:

"Pharmacies have a moral obligation to provide health care to women, and frankly, emergency contraception prevents unintended pregnancies...There are many tens of millions of women of reproductive age in this country. Meeting their needs is an extremely good business decision."

Strongarming Wal-Mart into carrying yet another contribution to our society's casual sex philosophy didn't seem to work. And since then, there have been many privately owned pharmacies that have chosen not to carry the "morning after pill". One pharmacy in particular, owned by Lloyd Duplantis in Gray, Louisiana, has chosen not to carry any type of contraception.

"Lloyd's Pharmacy" as it's called, was recently in the media when a woman got upset because she couldn't get her birth control prescription filled. Duplantis, who is the president of "Pharmacists for Life International" told CBS cameras:

"I don't sell condoms. I don't sell foams. I don't sell creams. I don't sell anything to do with contraception."

There are many who may take issue with Duplantis being so extreme in how he runs his business. After all, even most married couples use some form of contraception. But there is something admirable in the fact that Duplantis wants to run his business according to the principles on which he stands. We will all be held accountable to our consciences and as a privately owned pharmacy, Duplantis is certainly within his rights to stock whatever drugs he sees fit.

Whatever your feelings on contraception, there is a certain reality at work in our society. We live in a murky culture full of sexual compromise and meaningless sex. The condom industry isn't racking up sales from Mr. & Mrs. Johnson; they're racking up sales from teenagers and adults who are having sex with multiple partners. Remember "Jimmie Hatz" the "urban" condom? That was directly targeted to young people. Earlier this year, the pharmaceutical company "Barr Laboratories" sought FDA approval to make "Plan B" (another version of the morning after pill) available over the counter. The reason they did this was to get it into the hands of those unable to easily get a prescription. Read between the lines and the agenda is quite clear. Get them hooked early, and get them hooked young.

The reality is that the people most worried about an unwanted pregnancy are the ones who are unmarried and uncommitted. This is not to say that married couples don't worry, but the threat is certainly significantly greater with the person you just met last night at the club versus your own spouse. In the case of Lloyd Duplantis, he feels that supplying contraceptives only supports a greater problem we have in our society and that's the abundance of pre-marital sex.

I feel it important to paint this issue with the right brush because the media will distort things to make the actions of Duplantis and others who've followed suite seem antiquated and discriminatory. No matter what your birth control philosophy, one has to admit that our society needs more people like Lloyd Duplantis to take a hard stance and counter the culture. It makes us think. It sends a message not just concerning birth control, sex, and pregnancy, but also concerning how closely our "work" should be tied with our beliefs. There is a lot of compromise going on even among those who call themselves "Christians" and it certainly is refreshing to see someone put their convictions into action--even if it means bad press.

Rebel: Dwight Howard

Why you should fear him: As a high school senior at Southwest Atlanta Christian Academy, he was the number one overall NBA draft pick of 2004 to the Orlando, Magic and has already staked his position on the court as being an unashamed follower of Jesus Christ out to change the negative image of basketball players. From the time that he was a little boy, he's had the vision to "raise the name of God within the league and throughout the world." For Howard, the NBA is his pulpit, but he plans on preaching through his lifestyle. Howard has an uphill battle ahead of him in a profession that seems to be breeding bad behavior (and infidelity). Howard however, has been open in interviews about remaining a virgin until married and desiring to set a standard of purity amongst a culture of womanizing and casual sex. Not too enveloped by the millionaire lifestyle, Howard is intent on staying humble and grounded by the reality of God's blessings. Plus he's 6-foot-10. He will crush you.

Age: 18 until (12/8)

Representing: East Point, Georgia

Status: A forward for the Orlando Magic, nicknamed "Choirboy"

Achievements: Winner of the 2004 Naismith Award, signifying the nation’s top high school player. Winner of the Morgan Wooten High School Player of the Year award. Named McDonald’s National High School Player of the Year. Named Co-MVP of the 2004 McDonald’s High School All-America game. Played in the EA Sports Roundball Classic. Named to the PARADE Magazine All-American Team.

Articles: On a Mission from God - ESPN, Howard has plenty of faith on and off court - USA Today

One of the signs that your celebrity career has jumped the shark must be when you get asked to perform or partake in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Just an observation. Continue in the festivities...I know I will.

Why does the Devil need an advocate?

There's an abundance of events to comment on, but first I feel I must take this time out to be thankful for life and it more abundantly. In light of such a sobering day of thankfulness on our horizon, it's always good to stop and acknowledge how truly blessed we are to live in this nation (or be living for that matter). And with every measure of blessing comes responsibility. It is my prayer that the coming year will see us embracing the fullness of what requirements exist for those who've been given much.

I could go on and on about all the things I'm thankful for (bacon especially), but these are just a few:

• I am thankful that God snatched me while I was young (16 to be exact)
• I am thankful for Jesus Christ
• I am thankful that I can freely read my Bible in public without threat to my life
• I am thankful for unconditional love
• I am thankful for bacon
• I am thankful for blue jeans that fit the right way
• I am thankful that for the next four years, I won't have to say "President Kerry"
• I am thankful for parents that love me in spite of my hellion-like tendencies
• I am thankful for bacon
• I am thankful for two younger siblings that cause me inordinate amounts of stress on an almost daily basis
• I am thankful for a Father who is not like my Mother (because I can only take one nut)
• I am thankful that PETA will never be able to stop me from eating and enjoying bacon
• I am thankful for computers (but not HTML, because to quote one of my commenters, "it is from Satan")
• I am thankful for good health
• I am thankful for bacon
• I am thankful that I have the functioning of all my faculties--well, most (my mother debates my sanity often)
• I am thankful for bacon
• I am thankful for DSL
• I am thankful for the Cosby Show
• I am thankful for hair on my head that grows without the aid of Rogaine
• I am thankful for shoes
• I am thankful for toothpaste and dental floss
• I am thankful for family--even my crazy auntie who embarrasses us all
• And I am thankful for many more things, but it's important to know, that I am really really thankful for BACON.

Everyone say it with me now, "BAAAAAAAACON!"

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Travel safely and don't forget to be thankful.

There is redemption yet! In a statement released by the NAACP, president Kweisi Mfume today "denounced critics of Secretary of State nominee Condoleezza Rice who have resorted to the use of racial slurs and ethnic stereotypes."

Well Halleluah! (and I mean that) I stand corrected. I think Michael King's image is fitting for the moment. Since this is the day of unexpected happenings, maybe I should walk into my bank and attempt to make a one million dollar withdrawl.

Hey, all things are possible.

[Geek Factor ON////] If all goes well, I'll be attending two blogger meet-up events that are taking place in December: one in Seattle, Washington, and one in the other Washington (D.C.)

I'm hitting the road again and Lashawn Barber has already posted on the topic of a potential gathering. She and I and Avery, and anyone else in the D.C. area that doesn't have any outstanding warrants for their arrest is welcome to join us as we're attempting to plan some sort of get-together in a public place with lots of lighting and law enforcement and mase nearby.

Also, if you want info about the Seattle gathering, let me know as well. I believe plans for that are still in the works so the date is sketchy, and people are currently hashing out the details. [////Geek Factor OFF]

In other news, as promised, I have a special gift of appreciation for regular readers to be announced the day after Thanksgiving. I know, I know, the anticipation is killing you. But you'll be okay, really you will. Actually, I think I'm more excited about it than you'll ever be. Where's that geek switch again?

Next to the "SorryEverybody.com" site, one of the funniest and tragic aspects of the election aftermath has been the Liberals', but more specifically, the Democratic party's attempts at scrambling to patch together some sort of brand of morality that will appeal to the masses in 2008. I am going to assert two faults and debate me if you will. First, the idea of Liberalism--a philosophy that not only believes in the essential goodness of humanity, but also in the relative idea of individual freedom from restraint--juxtaposed with the concept of morality (which suggests clear boundaries) is oxymoronic (and moronic). Second, in their quest towards "appeal" via morality, Democrats are attempting to flesh out the elements of an idea they've been hesitant or unable to define.

Morality isn't arbitrary. This idea of "your morality" and "my morality" is antithetical to the concept of what morality really is. Morality is the assertion that there is a clear right and wrong. It's not relative; it's constant. It doesn't care if you came to this earth through rape or if you graduated with a degree from Harvard. Morality is no respecter of persons. Everyone is held to the same standard.

We have swapped this idea of morality for "good works". And yes, we do need good works. I've said it before, when it comes to making themselves look busy with community development and giving a care about "the people", the Democrats have the Republicans beat hands down. And this isn't necessarily a nod in the Democrats' favor as I tend to think that their brand of "community development" and "outreach" lends itself to secular humanism and the patronizing of the "lower economic echelon" of our society. Simply put, it's mostly ineffective and bent on treating symptoms and not causes. However, something leads me to believe that when we are forced to treat causes instead of symptoms, we are forced to deal with the moral issues that are the root of every major societal problem. Frankly, it's so much easier to just fill the pothole temporarily with asphalt in hopes that it will hold up through the winter.

In all their attempts to rally the country around this intangible "morality", it's no wonder why on a local level, so many of the Democrats' initiatives and levies fail to do what I feel our local government should be doing: empowering the people. Why feed people without targeting why they're hungry? I am baffled that year after year, many of our public schools continue to produce poor results and yet STILL get insane amounts of dollars allocated to them despite their failure to uphold any type of educational standards. What.So.Ever. When businesses fail, they shut down. When schools fail, they get more money to help them continue in their failure. Then again, failure is relative right? And what is "failure" after all but the burden of society to keep kids down. Let's waste time doing studies on how teachers who grade tests in red pen are shattering kids' self-esteem. Nevermind the fact that Jimmy can't read. Reading is highly overrated.

There has been a gross mis-appropriation of the words "in-alienable rights". Trust me when I say we want to be VERY careful when it comes to trying to contort our made-up values to the "Choose Your Own Adventure" school of morality. Both Democrats and Conservatives alike are guilty of attending such school. We pick and choose when and who is subject to certain ideas of morality, and only tout them it's convenient. Interestingly enough, the true test of morality isn't in front of others, but behind closed doors, when no one is looking. Government isn't an elite entity that isn't subject to any standard. Government is merely a collective of individuals, all with individual consciences, all of whom will give an account before God for their decisions.

So my open-ended question to anyone who understands the true philosophy of the Democratic Party is what is the Left's definition of morality and what or who determines right from wrong?

It should be taken into account that in the most basic form, the notion of "right" and "wrong" directly implies a lack of "grey areas".

Floating around the blogosphere, you may have seen "Brand Democrat", which is the brainchild of Mr. Oliver "Bill Cinton was the Best President of the last 20 years" Willis. Of the many phrases in his catchy ad campaign are,

"What Happens In Your Bedroom Stays In Your Bedroom. It's Just None Of Our Business."

and

"Call Us Crazy, But We Think Sick Kids Should Have Healthcare."

and my personal favorite,

"Our God Gets Along Fine With Your God. Or Allah. Or Buddah. Or... Whatever. Religious Tolerance Is An American Value."

If that doesn't sound like confusion, I don't know what is. The campaign is quite ingenious, I must say--twisting ideas and making them sound good. Typical. My editor at Seaspot Magazine articulated my thoughts on this matter with the precise amount of sarcasm necessary:

"To that end, the blue state herd is trying, furiously, to articulate some kind of coherent moral philosophy. And so far, much like a retarded monkey composing Shakespeare, they’re failing miserably.

No surprise there. This is a crowd that wants to articulate Right and Wrong as concrete definitions after spending the last 40 years telling everybody that Right and Wrong, were only Right and Wrong if it that was, like, cool with you, man, and if it was, like, totally not cool with you, then it must be, like, oppression, man."

I believe the Creed of the Modern Thinker is applicable to the cause of liberal morality:

"Everything is okay as long as you don't hurt anyone to the best of your definition of hurt, and to the best of your knowledge."

Poppycock.

This weekend, I attended a friend's wedding and spotted this young gentleman (who incidentally was very nice despite the tragic fashion mishap). As always, the identity of the victim has been preserved. For the sake of this discussion, let's just call our dear friend "Smokey" (as in the bear).

Is it a grizzly bear you ask? Is it your auntie's sofa? No, it's a man in a fur coat with a matching hat. Move over stripes and plaid combos, there's a new sickness on the block and it's called fake fur overkill. Can we say traaaagedy?

What will be said next is very important to take note of: it's not necessarily the wearing of the fur coat or the fur hat. It's the combination of the two--on a man. There's really no nice way to say this except that it's a mess. There are only two types of men that pull off that much fur: Sean "Puffy" Combs and Joan Rivers. Oh wait, but Joan is...well, anyway, you get the idea.

Somebody lied to this gentleman before he left the house when they said, "Yeah man, go ahead and wear the coat AND the hat. That outfit is HOT!" It can only be assumed that the culprit wasn't a woman. A woman would have said, "You look like a reject sugar daddy. Take that thing off before it catches on fire." Short of some gold "Mister T. starter kit" jewelry around his neck, he may well be on his way to a career as a crooked music producer.

Word to the wise, tone down the fur. You wear it; don't let it wear you. One piece at a time please. And remember, Smokey the bear says, "Only you can prevent forest fires."

I say we take his advice. Consider this a warning.

Past Fashion Faux-Pas:
- Gun Tights
- Stripey Girl
- Me Being Stripey Girl
- The Cowboy Boots
- The Pimp

A few Seattle bloggers (including myself) were featured in the December 2004 issue of "Seattle Magazine", a highly reputable publication, in an article by Matt Rosenberg titled, "Blog On!" It's a six-page feature and profiles five bloggers of different backgrounds and political ideologies. The bloggers hi-lighted are techno-guy Stefan Sharkansky, racial profiling victim Ian Spiers (a really nice guy), Andy MacDonald, journalist Dave Neiwert, Natasha Celine, and lowly ole me.

I'm featured on page six (in the linked document), and my mug on page four, on what was a reprehensibly bad hair day. And for love's sake, you'd think the magazine people would have the audacity to at least photoshop out the blemishes. Sheesh. My favorite words used in the article to describe nykola.com were "tart, brash, irreverent, outspoken and eclectic". Irreverent? Is it odd that I take great pride in being described that way? Ha.

Do read the whole article if you get a chance. I need to change it to a pdf, so bear with the image loading please all you dial-up folk (hint hint, dsl is better).

Oh Parent Where Art Thou (the remix)

I find this to be one of the funniest (and ill-informed) things I've read all week. Coincidentally, the following was left in my post about how we've permissively excused racially charged Condi cartoons because she's a Black Republican :

Buttersoul(at)hotmail.com

So I happened across you site thru the blogoshpere. I will do my best to convey the heart wrenching disgust I see here on your little corner of the blogoshpere. First, I'm going to tell you that I'm NYC raised black woman. My mother was not only a Black Liberation Army member but she is also a Vassar graduate. I myself have been raise all my life to be proud of my heritage as well as keenly aware of racism and assimilated racism of my brothers and sisters. I have lived all over the country as well as traveled abroad. I have attended various colleges including Vassar like my mother. With the diversity of experience that I have been exposed to I must say, you my sister are not even aware of your own self-hatred. You press and straighten your hair, denying yourself an acceptance of who you really are on a topical level let alone internally. Do you really think that because you have been exposed to rich white kids you have managed to assimilate? Because you mingled in prep schools, assumed their ideology that you (or Condoleeza for that matter) are a white persons peer in their eyes? I myself have been exposed to the same and have also lived in Seattle but never adopted the mindset of those environments as it seems you have. You have adopted the goals of a culture that has no love for you. You come to the southern states and you will be rocked to the core to know at how obvious the injustices and prejudice that still thrive and plot against you and your people in such a indirect, extensive and cunning way here in this country. I am truly saddened that you have not been exposed to your heritage, truly. You don't even know who you are. This was the goal of slavery as well as it continues to be a facet of American society to mold it's negros, just like Condoleezza, Colin and the many that think assimilation is the answer to African Americans identity crisis or general issues. *shaking head* Actually your position is just an easy way out as far as I see it. It's definitely easier to assume the dominating ideology than to take hold of the truth and fight for it to be heard.

There has been much buzz over the last couple days in the blogosphere and beyond regarding Target Corporation's decision not to allow Salvation Army red kettles outside of their stores this holiday season. While part of me just thinks the bored part of America cannot rest unless they have something about which to cry bloody murder, I will give their concerns the benefit of the doubt. Christians especially have taken issue with the fact that Target may have a vendetta against historically Christian organizations. Since their decision to disallow the Salvation Army from raising money on their premises, there is move to boycott Target stores. And what on earth would the holiday season be without a boycott?

In the past, Target has made an exception to their "No solicitation policy" by allowing the Salvation Army money kettles to be placed outside their door. That was their decision. According to a statement released from Target, the reversal of this decision was due to the receipt of "an increasing number of solicitation inquiries from non-profit organizations each year, and determined that if we continue to allow the Salvation Army to solicit, then it opens the door to other groups that wish to solicit our guests."

On his radio show yesterday, popular Christian radio host Hugh Hewitt took his fellow conservative, writer James Lileks to task for claiming the removal of the Salvation Army was,

"A bad move for Target in PR terms, but they are not The Devil. I am not willing to disbelieve their rationale out of hand; I don’t think this was based in an antipathy to Christianity, as some have suggested. I think it’s the usual corporate mentality that seeks to avoid conflict, which is why this was announced many months ago. They hoped it would be forgotten by now. Oops."

Hewitt's contention is that indeed Target is specific in their approach to disavow all that is righteous and "good" about Christmas. He responded,

The season we are on the cusp of celebrating is uniquely a religious season. It has its origin in the journey of a poor and homeless family who were given shelter, and in the entry of grace and mercy into human history in the form of Christ. The Salvation Army is uniquely a mission to the homeless and the poor --the lost and the least. They are not just another charity, and it is not just any old time of year.

Further, Target is a company grown wealthy on the season we celebrate. For retailers, Christmas is the mother lode, the 25% in 30 days that makes all they year seem merry. How indifferent to the source of their wealth that Target would insult the spirit of Christmas.

Now I hate to nitpick but it's Friday I'm just gonna. Despite my disdain for the open rodeo they call Wal-Mart, I have been known to be tantalized by the cleanliness, organization, and price cuts found at Target (which we bourgeoisie refer to as "Tarjay"). I feel the need to address this rigmarole in points, so here goes:

1. It's not the fact that they're the Salvation Army that people are against, it's the DAGGONE BELLS! An Edgar Allan Poe poem, this scenario is not. Any business establishment worth their salt knows that "the moaning and the groaning of the bells" is ANNOYING and doesn't always make for the best customer experience.

2. Cut the talk about the Salvation Army being this fabulous "Christian Organization" and the anti-Christian nature of Target's move. Please. When was the last time you saw the Salvation Army doing anything that was so threateningly "Christian" that anyone had cause to hate them? More than anything, the SA is a social organization doing relief work and helping families in similar ways as other nonprofit organizations. This isn't a bad thing, but the whole "evangelical" aspect of the organization has some what dissipated if you ask me.

3. According to Hewitt, we're supposed to boycott Target because they're "insulting the spirit of Christmas" yet cashing in on the capitalism of it all. To Hewitt's points of Christmas having origin in the journey of Mary and Joseph and the birth of Jesus, I hate to rain on this "oh Christmas is so hallowed and religious" parade, but it's not true. Christmas really has little to nothing to do with Christ. We've made it out to be some spiritual high, but we all know that Jesus wasn't even born on December 25th. And even down to the decorating of trees, the origin of Christmas wasn't Christian, it was pagan. Does Jesus Christ get honor and glory out of the day? Sure. Is it a great time for us to spend with family? You bet. Is the spirit of giving and reaching out to others important? Absolutely. But let's not do it under the banner of Christmas being some hallowed and sacred entity that it is not. It's manmade and we know it.

4. Target is a company that is entitled to do whatever they want. The fact that they made an exception to their policy for the "army" all these years is a testimony to the fact that they felt there was value in what the organization does. If it's time to move on from these efforts that's their choice. If the efforts of the "army" rises and falls on whether or not one corporation allows them to use their property for fundraising purposes, then so be it. Target never owed the SA anything from the get-go.

5. Move on.

So great. There are hundreds of thousands of charitable organizations all doing great work to reach out to those in need. We all should be doing our part in that respect. While there may be a loss of funds to the Salvation Army's efforts on a local level, they can't blame Target for that. Target was well within their rights to make the business decision to focus their community outreach in other ways. A Target spokesperson was quoted as saying,

"This decision does not diminish Target Corporation's commitment to its communities. Target donates more than $2 million per week and hundreds of thousands of volunteer hours each year to the communities in which it does business."

Draw your own conclusions, but I'll still be exercising my right to "Target". When interviewed on the matter, shopper Barbara Whitmore, asked,

"What's Christmas without the bell-ringers?"

Quiet, that's what.

Far too often, we casually throw around the word "brilliant". I remarked last month that a few co-workers of mine had deemed Jon Stewart as a brilliant individual. I counter-offered a few people I thought better deserved such an adjective. Unfortunately, I suppose those types of things are completely subjective. Still, I'm curious to know a few things:

1. According to you, what determines brilliance?
   
2. Who are some of those among the living in our culture that fit that bill?

I need to think on this one for a minute so I'll update my list in a few.

In what appears to be the relentlessly fraudulent pursuit of relevancy (or whatever), many of our institutions of higher learning have abandoned the curriculum of yore and burdened themselves with the rebellious idea that anything can be turned into a learning experience.

I recall during my first and last year at Wesleyan University, the gates of the inferno manifested in our college curriculum. In that year, a class simply called "Pornography" sought to make some investigative headway into the industry, its literature, and its culture. And surprisingly enough, kids paid $36,000 a year in tuition to do so. I am certain picking up a video rental membership would've spared them a buck or two. The course, which caused a bit of outrage among endowment funding alumni, included elements of video, fiction, and photography. And like all things academic, they even had guest lecturers: porn stars. A Hartford Courant article reported:

"Porn stars now work the college lecture circuit. Performance artist Annie Sprinkle, who packed a Wesleyan auditorium Sunday, extolled the value of prostitution and told students, 'The answer to bad porn is not no porn, but to try to make better porn.'"

It's no wonder our college degrees are failing us with such repugnant refuse being espoused as intelligent. The culmination of the course was a final assignment whereby students were instructed by Professor Hope Weissman to "Just create your own pornography". My beloved school would've been better off just calling the class "Hedonism 101".

I began with this story because in more recent events, Syracuse University has decided to throw its hat in the ring of the battle between reason and stupidity. As much as it pains me to admit it, I think stupidity might be winning.

When you think of rapper Lil' Kim, you don't think of the word "class" (in either meaning of the noun). But according to CNN, Syracuse recently introducted a course titled, "Hip-Hop Eshu: Queen B**** 101 -- The Life and Times of Lil' Kim". According to instructor Greg Thomas, the course seeks "to look into things that gender studies have been trying to grapple with" and requires students to read Kim's song lyrics as literary texts and analyze her iconography in videos and performances. Move over Maya Angelou, there's a new poet in town. Kim has even made a guest appearance to speak to the class about her music. A better working title for this course would be "The New Misogyny: how women hate themselves".

Those familiar to Lil' Kim know she is famous among many for her self-deprecating, sex-laced, raunchy and explicit lyrics. Image wise, she is a self-proclaimed female dog and has mastered the art of wearing as few clothes as possible. It should also be noted that Lil' Kim has given Michael Jackson a run for his money in the area of plastic surgery. If getting deep is worth anything in this analysis, it should be observed that all evidence points to the fact that this is clearly a woman who doesn't love herself enough if at all.

You may well remember awhile ago when a summer school program in Worcester, Massachusetts unwisely added Tupac Shakur's book of poetry to their required reading list. What I wrote in response to this and the topic of hip-hop in education still stands. The way I see it, the question here isn't whether or not aspects of hip-hop culture are worthy of academic dissection. The answer to that question is an emphatic "yes", without reservation. Not only is it no less worthy than every other artform, it would be intellectually dishonest to suggest contrarily as historically, every dominant aspect of culture has been well-surved by overpaid Ph.D students in search of a dissertation topic.

What is troubling is which cross sections of hip-hop culture "the powers that be" have decided to study. There are intelligent and conscious lyricists in rap, yet we want to intellectually dissect the refuse and play pseudo-deep like shaking your behind on the television has all that many layers of profundity. There's nothing profound about glorifying gang activity and filthy lifestyles. For all that has come out of hip-hop, surely there is more to offer than someone as grotesque and confused as Lil' Kim. The same could be said of Sigmund Freud, if you ask me. If foul language and sexually derogatory content wasn't allowed in college curriculum, half the English department would be in a tizzy.

There is a bigger picture at stake here. Can we afford to glorify such behavior in light of an ailing culture? What is the legacy we're trying to leave? Cultivating critical thinking is great, but not at the cost of passively endorsing detrimental behavior. There needs to be a standard on this thing we call "learning".

Other news on Syracuse's course
- SU Student calls class inappropriate
- The Base-Standard reports on Lil' Kim's Campus Visit

There are many unwritten rules in politics. With the exception of Hillary Clinton, most political figures have been subjected to the undercurrent of dos and don'ts that rule our nation's politics. One of such rules states that if you are black and you are conservative, you are a target for racial slander. This rule also states that if such epithets and bigotry come from the Left, they don't qualify as racist. Indeed, the Left-Wing Conspiracy of America has made it widely known that they are not in favor of people of color that refuse to bow down to the John F. Kennedy altar. So when President Bush appointed National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice to replace Colin Powell as Secretary of State, it was no surprise that the mental midgets with two-celled brains would crawl from under their rocks to display some typical double-minded bigotry.

It was only a few months ago when Dr. Rice was offensively caricatured in cartoons by both Jeff Danzinger, who sketched Rice as a semi-literate mammy, and Ted Rall, whose illustration referred to Rice as Bush's "House Nigga". Generally such occurrences create enough of a stir that the comics get pulled and the cartoonist still gets their fifteen minutes of fame. But the fact that these high-fallutin' trolls think themselves arbiters of black authenticity is somewhat of an anomaly considering their perpetual claims that the Right is the Ku Klux Klan. When syndicated cartoonist Jeff Danzinger's portrayal of Rice with big lips and bucked teeth rubbed readers the wrong way, he released a statement in which he exercised true Liberal Apologetics by denying the cartoon as racist, claiming it "was suggested to me by a friend who is African-American". Yes, he pulled out the "I have black friends" rhetoric. Perhaps someone should tell him that defense is so 40 years ago.

Since Rice's new position was announced, the hypocrites have had their field day in a number of different racially directed comics. There is nothing new under sun. It is however interesting that we never see the extortionist Jesse Jackson or any of the other black solidarity saviors of the Left stepping in and correcting such blatant stereotypical depictions of their race. And where pray tell, is the NAACP now? Perhaps you may recall a few years ago when a Toyota ad featured their new Rav-4 SUV etched into the gold tooth of black man. Their attempts to be stereotypically edgy outraged Rainbow/PUSH's leader. About.com reports:

"Jackson's organization initially threatened to boycott and picket the Toyota company saying that, because the ads appeared in places that were frequented by mostly whites, the purpose appeared to be solely to amuse whites."

It can certainly be deduced that the offensive cartoons are intended to amuse whites and many others. But apparently, Jackson can't get any money from this deal because he's nowhere to be found. A likely story.

To be black and deviate (or even question) our blood-line democrat values is masochistic. As if it's not enough to have white yuppies (with black friends) calling you a sell-out, the black on black contempt has taken a turn for the worse. Hateration is the name of this game. And while credentialed media quotes from major news papers could be more convincing, I believe these words from fellow black blogger resonate more with the pulse on our society's twisted conceptions on the meaning of freedom:

"If you are even remotely black and you voted for Bush, you are a nigger. No greater coon ever existed than the Black Republican. You shucking and jiving, shoe-shining, pink pucker licking, delusional [expletive]. May you slowly drown in a sea of piss, rubbing alcohol, watermelon seeds, and chicken gristle."

And that folks, is what we're up against.

(Update I): I wasn't going to give this the time of day, but in light of the topic, I thought I'd link Joan Baez's post-election minstrel show (which by the way was completely excused by Liberals).

(Update II): Other bloggers weigh-in. Moxie's analysis, "Does Condi Want a Cracker?" is hilarious. See also, Michael King, La Shawn Barber, Mickey Malkin, and Conservative Dialysis.

Every time I hear the word "tradition", I can't help but start humming the underscore to Tevye's solo in "Fiddler on the Roof". And while my referencing a hokey musical clearly pins me as ultra-nerd/hipster/theater-buff/snob, I'm okay with that.

Despite my nerdom, there are elements to the opening song in "Fiddler on the Roof" (or the general concepts in traditional Jewish culture) that I can draw truth from to remind me of the necessity to align certain aspects of my life (and ultimately, our society) with some traditionalist ideals.

In response to my post on respecting authority, a commenter by the name of Glen, made some very keen observations:

"Alas and alack, much of our current contempt for authority can be traced to the permissive parents of the 60s, 70s, 80s, whatever, who encouraged their children to "stand up for themselves" no matter what. You know the type I refer to.

The very idea of "children's rights" flies in the face of a proper civilized society, as it puts respect for authority on a back burner. Yes, there are and were many abuses by adult figures, but institutional authority must be established and respected for a society to function.

If I had even THOUGHT about calling any of my parents' colleagues by their first names, I would have been banished to the dungeon. Now, there is no problem with kids calling daddy's friend "Joe" instead of "Mr. Smith".

Now that'll preach.

As rebellious as I can be, I'm a traditionalist at heart. One of my peeves among peeves is the disrespect of elders and authority figures. I think it's putrid and disdainful and we will reap what we've sown if we don't watch our mouths.

The family structure is severely fragmented and its disarray is at the heart of what I believe to be Americans' issues with authority. We can't expect people to view the government any differently than what they've experienced in their own families.

With all the role swapping going on in America these days, it's no wonder people have little respect for positions and titles. After all, what's a father anyway? And that's not to say that traditional family roles can't been adapted as our culture has evolved. But if we are going to be honest with ourselves, we must admit that we've allowed many fundamental principles to fall by the wayside.

Kids are calling their teachers cutsie nicknames and their parents "Joe" and "Suzanne". Sixteen year olds are being emancipated or excuse me, "divorced" from their parents. It's nightmarish.

The era of new-agey progressivism has infected our society with individualism and disregard. Commenter Glen brought up the idea of "children's rights" as being something of a stepping stone to the current lack of reverence for authority that is abundant in everything we do. I'm only 23, but when I was growing up, my parents always made it clear that as children, we had no rights. Sure we had the rights God gave us, but trust me when I say that was it. It sounds harsh, but it was a reality check for us.

I recall one time when I was around 11-years-old, I decided to buck up against the system and "run away". That was the first sign that I'd been at my white private school one day too long. Black kids don't do the whole running away bit. We knew better. (Caveat: All that stomping up the steps, slamming doors and running away from home crap is so cheesy-Full-House-sitcom-trite. If I ever slammed a door in my parents' house, they would remove it off the hinges on my behalf so they could watch me sleep) So when I made my declaration to abandon ship to my mother, she calmly replied,

"That's fine with me, but don't take anything you didn't buy".

Stuck I was, as there wasn't one flippin' thing in my possession that I truly owned. I laid my pride down and shut my mouth.

I caution us, if we continue to push the envelope by trying to pull the entire rug from under the traditional values coalition, we will not see a society that respects authority. As far as I'm concerned, there are direct correlations between the household and what we're after.

Whatever*. I predicted this was going to happen. Newsweek reported last Friday:

...the exit polls didn’t tell the whole story. According to a new analysis of voter data, turnout among the under-30 set shot up 9 percent from 2000. The study, conducted by the University of Maryland’s Center for Information & Research on Civil Learning & Engagement (CIRCLE), found that at least 20.9 million in the 18-29-year-old bracket voted, compared with only about 16 million in 2000. The exit polls didn’t register the increase because they show the percentage of young voters out of all voters. Since every age bracket voted in higher numbers than in 2000, the exit polls showed about equal youth shares of total voters for 2004 and 2000—not an accurate picture of the youth vote, experts say.

* Relative defintion of "Whatever": Quick, somebody give me a salary and title so I can get paid for my predictions.

Rebel: Sheri Valera

Age: 21

Why you should fear her: Not only was Sheri the youngest Florida delegate to the RNC, she was a 2nd place runner up in MTV's essay contest and has the accolades and positions that would lead to a life in politics. Sheri is also a powerhouse activist and firm Christian that has taken a hard stance against premarital sex and abortion amidst a notoriously subversive campus life. Countering even the "South Park Republican culture", Sheri's taken flack for her advocacy of purity in relationships and is saving her first kiss for her wedding day. Classy.

Representing: Port Charlotte, FL

Status: Senior Political Science Major at the University of Florida

Headed: A governmental office.

Achievements: Youngest Congressional Delegate for Florida to the 2004 Republican National Convention; Chair of the Florida College Republicans. Ronald Reagan Future Leaders Scholarship Recipient; Weekly Editorial Columnist for the Florida Independent Alligator; Second place finalist in the Stand-up and holla Essay Contest; Member of Christ Community and Riverbend Community Churches; a memberof Phi Eta Sigma Honors Society.

Interviews: New York Metro Magazine

Past rebels: Princella Smith

If you've emailed me over the last two weeks and I haven't yet responded, it's not because I'm ignoring you. It's not because my inbox is teeming. It's not even because my apartment looks like my closet threw up. It's because I suck. And I'm sorry (yep, I'm sorry too). Stand by, I'm getting to it.

On another note. There is a battle of epic proportions taking place between me and comment spam or comment spam and I or whatever is grammatically correct. As a result, I'm going to start closing comments a week after a post is up to stop the ads for levitra, cialis, poker, and penis enlargement pills from attempting to take over my site. They shant take me down. This fight I will win and I will do it with high heels on. And again I say to you dear brethern, know that in these perilous times, there are little people doing big things. And we shall join hand in hand as commrades in the faith and overthrow the ruling spamming class.

Busy day today, but here's a quick round-up of things I'd talk about if I had the time. In recognition of the "National Month of Sorrow", I'd like to preface a few of the links with a heartfelt apology. I'm really really sorry. In other news, the answer to my "quiz" was h. "none of the above". And since my question was "which of the following did not happen", that makes "none of the above" a double negative and thus the true answer is that all the events I listed took place. Ooh yeah, I'm clever. On with the links:

• A 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich bearing the image of the "Virgin Mary" recently sold on eBay for $16,000. I'll reserve my comments on this lunacy.

• PETA has now begun a full-out assault on fish. Brace yourselves for this. It's called the "Fish Empathy Project". Stop please. Just stop. PETA's argument is that fish are intelligent and no more deserving of being eaten than other pets like dogs and cats. Okay, enough with "Shark Tale" and "Finding Nemo" movies. Fish aren't friends, they're food. Booker Rising isn't happy either.

• At the recent second-annual Vibe Awards (a hip hop awards ceremony) a brawl broke out when a man punched Dr. Dre in the face as he was waiting to receive his lifetime achievement award. In the chaos, a man was stabbed. Tell me again that gangsta rap doesn't promote violence? This is downright shameful.

• In other trite news, Democrats are displaying their racist agenda. Notice the cartoon's depiction of Condoleeza Rice with bucked teeth. The "Democracy-Project" has a full round of links on the racist backlash and tired portrayal of black Conservatives post-cabinet re-configuration.

• It gets worse. Democrat Oliver Willis shares the following "wisdom",

  "One of the dumbest arguments being bandied about is that the left should welcome Rice/Gonzales because one happens to be black, while the other is hispanic. I wonder if they know that their supporters are so in favor of such tokenism?"

  This is coming from the same people who already have Obama 2008 campaign bumper stickers.

• Joanne Jacobs reports on a Philadelphia public school initiative that would establish partnerships between every public school and a church, synagogue, mosque, or religious groups to help with after-school programs and tutoring. The initiative called the "Philadelphia Public Schools: A Community of Faith Partnership" is said to be honoring of the ACLU's definition of the separation of church and state. I think initiatives like these are the right way to go.

Apparently, even the "Kiwis" are sorry. Although that's more my judgment on them than their emotional sentiment. Herein lies utter lunacy:

STUDENTS at a New Zealand secondary school have listed prostitution and drug dealing on a list of desirable careers.

The job list, which also includes stripping and pimping, appeared in the year book at Kawerau College in the central North Island.

The book featured students' hopes about what they would like to do when they leave school and included suggestions such as brothel worker, drug lord, dope dealer, dope packer, stripper, pimp, beneficiary, druggie and "living on the street".

The Society for the Promotion of Community Standards, said Saturday that the legalizing of prostitution in New Zealand earlier this year had created a climate in which students viewed prostitution, pimping and stripping as attractive and viable forms of legal work.

The glorification of the lifestyle of pimpin' and ho'in' is beyond disgusting. By the way, did you know that BET is banned in the Bahamas because they don't believe it's a proper or healthy representation of black people? Lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it.

America is a peculiar place. As a country, we are usually atypical in our way of doing things. And I'll be the first to admit that many of those "things" are quite wonderful. Our "open marketplace of freedom" has long been the chip on our shoulder of cultural superiority. There is a reason why we are called "the land of opportunity". There is also a reason why people from other nations risk their lives to get here. Notwithstanding this reality, in all our "fabulousness" and "freedom", we have an uncanny propensity to exploit our liberties.

I am recently beset by what seems to be the extreme absence of the proper reverence and respect for the man we call our president. Our capacity to respect the office of the president isn't based on the countenance of one human being. If my ability to show respect for authority was based on amicability, I would surely be in jail right now, hauled off by some police officer I gave a piece of my mind. For if perfection was the rod against which we measured our Commander and Chief, we would surely be without a qualified leader for the task. What we must respect is the power and burden of the presidential mantle on behalf of an entire nation. It is not to be taken lightly, spoken of flippantly, or disregarded, no matter who is in office.

Freedom is a most beautiful thing. In fact, it is so beautiful that we as Americans often romanticize the idea of "freedom" to the point of extreme avoidance of (or un-consciousness from) the reality of what it really means to live in a free society. The "freedom" veil we live under is one that leads us to believe that America is a place where most anyone can presumptuously "do" whatever they choose and still get away with it. And unfortunately, these perceptions often ring true. Yet there is an unsettling haze of rebelliousness that has clouded the way we regard those authorities who have "charge" or "watch" over us. We have co-opted "freedom" as our right to be reckless. Today, that recklessness manifests itself in all matter of speech and hatred against a person who is inevitably our leader for the next four years.

On election day, writer James Lileks illustrated a profound truth when he recounted a teachable moment he had with his 4-year-old daughter post-voting:

"If John Kerry wins he won't be our president," Gnat said.

Ah, a teachable moment. No, honey. He will be our president. He will be the new president, and we will respect him.

"What does respek mean?"

Man, that is a good question. It means we treat him like a teacher or the pastor or a doctor. Someone we should listen to when they talk and someone who is important to everyone. Because he's the president, and we have to respect the job of president.

And here we have a simplistic sketch of something America lacks. It's one of our fundamental weaknesses: we don't respect authority. The illustration is no Rembrandt, but the concept is so simple, even a child can grasp it.

The idea of "respect" doesn't imply agreement or endorsement, but it does demand honor where honor is due. There is an interesting reality at work in this country that you won't find in many parts of the world. In America, it is perfectly acceptable and in fact, often encouraged to publicly berate and disrespect our nation's leaders. And while sites like "Sorry Everybody" may seem (forget "seem", they are) funny and perpetuate the whiny, pathetic, and downtrodden behavior of the average Liberal Bush-hater, these, among other public expressions of "displeasure" to the world are in fact more dangerous than we think.

A house divided against itself cannot stand. Anyone who has engaged in battle (of any sorts) knows that those with dissension in the camp are ill-equipped to fight. When we as Americans, let the world know that we are divided even in our respect and support for our leadership, we are admitting a weakness and therefore opening ourselves up for attack.

There are certain opinions that should remain spoken in a proper manner. The amount of published media filled with passionate abhorrance for the current administration is a testimony to the freedom that we have in this country. Everyone is certainly entitled to their opinion. In fact, that's what generally makes America "great". But even in our "greatness", we have fallen to a very low place. America is one of the few countries in the world that allows its citizens to "express" their opinions on government leadership with such vitriol. In many parts of the world, a person burning their leader in effigy (while in office) is a crime worthy of being gently escorted out of the country. And yet, here in America, we complain about civil liberties and freedom of speech yet our country allows people to simultaneously suck the government's teat while railing on its very existence. What complete and utter hogwash. To top this off, we even allow the people who have such animosity towards our government to still live here. We are truly a privileged society. Let us not forget that.

So I apologize world, for us being so shallow and uppity and spoiled and ungrateful and disrespectful and self-centered. I apologize that we spend more time and energy raking our governmental leadership across the coals of "damned if you do, damned if you don't standards" than we do lifting them up in prayer.

I apologize for our failure to recognize how completely embarrassing and silly we look when we heap manure on our own leaders who were elected according to our beloved democracy. I am sorry on behalf of those not mature enough to submit themselves to the electoral process.

I am sorry that we set a poor example of what citizenship is all about by calling our governmental officials expletives and epithets and everything but the names they were given. Perhaps one day we will come to realize that submission isn't submission until we submit.

On behalf of the whiny and the ill-informed part of America, I am truly sorry.

[ Click to Enlarge ]

I'll take underage Olympic Gold Medalists with DUI's for $400 please, Alex.

We all remember Olympic figure skater Oksana Baiul's lovely mug shots when she crashed her Mercedes after guzzling five too many Long Island Ice Teas. Now it seems that 19-year-old Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps has come forth to say that along with 49% of America, he too is very sorry. But Phelps's condolences are for an entirely different matter. This Monday, Phelps appeared on the "Today Show" to clean up his recently tarnished image and preached the revelatory message that it's not good to drink and drive. And of course we all know that we can never get enough of the "drinking and driving is bad" curriculum.

Late last week, Phelps was stopped by state police for running a stop sign--a subsequent event of him driving while under the influence of alcohol. Remember parents, this person is a role model of the "wholesome-hero".

And it's not like Phelps's behavior is entirely uncommon to the American experience. He was no different than 75% of the guys I went high school and college with. The only distinction made is 1) Phelps has public influence, and 2) Phelps got caught. Hence, the public apology:

"Last week, I made a mistake. Getting into a car after anything to drink is wrong. It's dangerous and unacceptable. I'm 19 and was taught that no matter how old you are, you should take responsibility for your actions, which I will do. I'm sorry."

It is highly likely that these publicity measures are being done to salvage the 7+ mega endorsements waiting in the wings for this young gentleman.

Everyone is deserving of redemption, but it still amazes me how easily we forgive and forget. The standard of behavior in our society is getting lower and lower.

We're sorry too Michael. Everybody's sorry. I hereby commemorate this month as the month of sorrow.

I forgot, column's up.

Weapons of Brash Destruction
(You've probably already read as it is a re-vamped/snipped version of my "Tools of the 21st Century")

Not blogging for an entire week only breeds pent up fits of wordiness and opinionations (is that a word?). This is the calm before my storm. A quick quiz...which of the following did not happen while I was on hiatus:

a. (removed)
b. I both met and was subjected to the rhetoric of the president of the Seattle chapter of the NAACP for 4+ hours
c. I started a new weblog
d. I cried
e. I found great solace in the passing of a well-known terrorist
f. I got hit by 800+ comments via SPAM
g. I missed you
h. None of the above

Greetings Earthlings...I'm back. I must say, I missed this whole part of my life quite a bit. Thank you everyone who sent me encouragement and emails. Life's problems and turmoil are truly the best training ground and development of character and dependence on God. I'll be responding to all email today.

I shall be posting today (I promise)...check back

It's recently occurred to me that I can't remember the last time I stayed up until three o'clock in the morning to talk to God. I can however, recall the last time I stayed up late writing a post.

The weight of life, responsibility, and some recent happenings have left me in a place where I need to step back for much of this week.

I should be back in a few days...prayers are solicited.

Where Have All the Young Ones Gone?

Late this last summer, I was in rural Pennsylvania to attend a friend's wedding. I'm quite familiar with Pennsylvania as I have traveled there since I was a child. However, I don't recall ever being there during an election year. All you people who reported getting your Bush/Cheney signs stolen, I believe I know their whereabouts. They're in rural Pennsylvania, that's where. If Kerry won PA, it wasn't any thanks to the central counties, that's for sure. These people shut down the entire city for the first day of hunting season. Yes, it's that serious.

At the wedding reception, I was what my grandfather would call, "the only fly in the buttermilk". Yes rural Pennsylvania is white, very white, but I'm from Seattle, so it's nothing I wasn't used to. Why I am telling you all this, I don't know as it has nothing to do with my story.

At one point during the reception, there was planned one of those sentimenal-type, bring out the tissue box 'cause grandma's gonna have a breakdown, video presentations about the "couple". The audio visual equipment wasn't working correctly and we were all left staring at a blue screen. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this caped crusader with a Mac Powerbook stepped in to save the day.

Who's that guy? I blurted out.

"Oh, him? He works for Pixar," the girl sitting next to me replied.

You mean Pixar as in Finding Nemo Pixar? Are you SERIOUS?

"Yes. That Pixar."

Okay I can't breathe. Can I touch the hem of his garment?

Filed under "Companies We Should Fear", I officially add: Pixar Animation Studios, because quite simply, they just dominate. Period. And they do so even despite their tendency to partner with the ailing and immoral "Disney". My bit of advice would be to sever that tie as soon as possible.

Go see "The Incredibles". It's the first film in quite some time that I can recommend without reservation. And don't get me started on all the deepness I sucked out of that movie. I'm good for that too.

In other news, I finally secured a post office box. The demands of Nykola.com have forced me to do so. For anyone that may consider sending any non-powdery substance filled correspondence, you may do so to:

Nykola
1122 East Pike Street #1486
Seattle, WA 98122-3932

Someone just emailed me this closed Auction from ebay:

"As part of the "Vote or Die!" campaign, Sean "P.Diddy" Combs has offered the opportunity for one lucky bidder to join him on Election Day as he excersises his right to vote."

Some sucker took it for $255 $3061.11. Don't tell me it's hard to make money in America.

The Youth Flop
Jonah Goldberg surprisingly brings forth some good sense on his analysis of the youth vote, "Don't Believe the Hype (2004 Remix)". I do take issue with his assertion that within hip-hop, there's such a thing as "dressing like a black person", but that's another conversation and not the point of the article.

Kids on Cocaine
The New York Daily News reports of a man who allegedly stashed cocaine in his toddler's coat. I agree with Avery, who argues this behavior warrants a beating. For the parent, not the child. And might I suggest Michael Fay style? Thank God for his mercy.

Ray Charles the Womanizer
The National Review published one of the better reviews I've read on the move "Ray". The review gives the film (and Jamie Foxx especially) its accolades as it is most definitely deserving, but does not brush over the fact that Ray Charles left quite a legacy, good and bad, including 12 children born out of wedlock. Oh that that the generations to come would not follow in the footsteps of celebrydom which endorses people cheating on their spouses.

New Tupac Album
Talk about a stronghold. Tupac comes out of the grave once again, releasing a new album on December 14th, which was produced by everyone's favorite rebellionist, Eminem, and features many other rappers. I suspect Tupac and Eminem are kindred spirits. Oh did I mention I got an email from a Tupacian last week telling me how ignorant I was for critizing Tupac's music? Funny stuff.

Newsweek's 'How He Did It' Issue
Newsweek's issue chronicling various aspects of both the Bush and Kerry campaigns should be on news stands November 15. Of the few gems promised in the issue, a desperate Bill Clinton apparently urged Kerry to back bans on gay marriage in an effort to pick up swing voters in Red states. Blogger Oliver Willis took issue with this, even though he thinks Clinton was the "best president we've had over the last 20-30 years or so". Oy vey.

Prison Rape is Rampant
Fellow hellion and youth columnist for the Henderson Dispatch, Jason Alston has written on the very serious issue of prison rape and the government's failure to address it in federal prisons. After his paper refused to print an article on such a controversial subject, blogger David Anderson at Grupo-Utopia (hmph, Utopia...apparently he's 'in search of it' but I regret to inform that it ain't gonna happen) agreed to post the article. I'm helping to spread the word.

Perhaps few recall Combs's early assertion that we needed to "Get Bush's [insert Biblical term for donkey] out of office". And soon after, commenced his bi-partisan "Vote or Die" and "Citizen Change" campaigns. Hogwash.

But apparently, Combs admits it. In an MTV interview, he had a brush with common sense:

"I was a little reckless with my comments, to be honest...I realized I relinquished my power too early after I educated myself. I shouldn't have said that until I felt that there was somebody that could be better for my people. ... I learned a lot in this process. I learned that my power could be used better. Instead of attacking Bush, it would be better to light a flame under young Americans and let them make the decisions."

Attacking Bush, whether directly or underhandedly, proved to be unwise as the "anybody but Bush" cry wasn't enough to motivate much of anyone, let alone the younger generation.

On another note, a bit of venting on two points. Number one, the P. Diddy mohawk has got to go. I am not a violent person, but when I see this picture, I want to throw objects. Number two, the fact that "we", myself included, refer to a 35-year-old man as "P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy" or "Puffy" (or "Rufus" for that matter). He's a grown man, and shall herein be called by a grown person's name: Sean Combs.

I promise this is the end of the "change your life" series. I'm becoming Oprah up in here. Now all we need are tissues and a commercial break (and a really good hairstylist).

As far as movies are concerned, I think much of what America has been producing on screen is whole lot of hype, wrapped up in some flowery messages and stuffed with cliches and predictability. Then when I see movies coming out wherein the protaganist steals the Declaration of Independence because it has a treasure map on the back, I can't help but think it's all about the box office. I mean, why else would "Dumb & Dumber" have a SEQUEL?

As for older flicks, I find a great deal of depth in some of them, and a whole lot of fallacy in a lot of them. Today however, I think we stand on the shoulders of innovative filmmakers and the past shouldn't be forgotten.

Unfortunately, the rare gems of good film-making often slip through the cracks as the masses demand for more mind-numbing, thoughtless films. We're all to blame really. I often wish people would realize that good box office figures should be the direct result of a very good film, not a sloppy, special effects nightmare.

I am a fairly emotional person, but I don't tend to cry during movies. From what I recall, the first time I remember crying during a movie was...don't laugh, "The Nutty Professor". Yes, the Eddie Murphy remake. Incredibly lame, I know. But in my defense, I may have been in a funk of sorts, hormonal, who knows. I'm not too fond of watching fat people being made fun of, so I cried. This does not however, preclude me from making fun of Michael Moore. He is fair game because he has the nerve to lecture the country on the evils overconsumption.

Anyway, on with what's good. Call me crazy, but I'm one of those people that believes that most mass media outlets can be used tremendously to affect the masses. As far as I'm concerned, we "ain't seen nothin yet". So when I consider what films had a great impact on my life personally, I consider anything and everything that's ever tweaked my perspective or attitude, enraged me, bothered me, motivated me, or even touched me. I'll name just a few and update this list later:

• The Color Purple
  
• The Matrix
  
• The Lion King
  
• Schindler's List
  
• Imitations of Life
  
• Fantasia
  
• Good Will Hunting
  
• Antwone Fisher
  
• The Passion of the Christ
  
• Bamboozled
  
• Tap

I'll add more later. What are yours?

Here are a few of Rather's best lines from election night coverage. Honest to goodness, I don't know how he rattles 'em off like this. The man has an aresnal of terribly hokey metaphors. Even more perplexing is how the other decrepits (read: old anchor people) keep a straight face on air:

• "His lead is as thin as turnip soup."
  
• "This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex."
  
• "Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field."
  
• "No question now that Kerry's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire and the bill collector's at the door."
  
• "This presidential race has been crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half."
  
• "No one is saying that George Bush is not going to win the election, and if you had to bet the double-wide, you'd have to bet that he'd win."
  
• "In southern states they beat him like a rented mule."
  
• "We had a slight hitch in our giddy up, but we corrected that."
  
• "The election is closer than Lassie and Timmy"

Hotter than a Times Sqaure Rolex? With metaphors and similies like that, it's official. Dan Rather should become a rapper. Now all he needs is a name. MC Rather? Better yet, how about Lil' Liar?

It's difficult to find a place to begin. There is so much post-election fluff floating around. It's a bit overwhelming. If there's one thing for which we all can be thankful, it's the fact that our president was clearly re-elected. On that point I stand corrected in my past predictions. For the most part, the Democratic party is conceding a clear win to Bush. Perhaps God saw fit to diminish our self-induced abilities at sending the country into utter confusion, and instead allowed this election to be determined more decisively this time around. Only a few days after the election have passed, so no one can be certain that aspects of the electoral process won't be challenged by Bush opposition. I trust the battle for Ohio won't die anytime soon. The knuckleheads may try to drag this thing out. Remember, it's not about unity. It never was and it never will be.

If it hasn't been said enough, I'll say it again: it's simply time to move on. For those who "lost" this election (and those who voted Bush back in with reservations), moving on doesn't necessarily mean abandoning your ideals or even your criticisms of this administration. However, those who want to continue unproductive whining and complaining and other peanut gallery whimpers about their issues with our president, the demise of democracy, and other unpatriotic blabber, will do so at the expense of the same unity they are preaching that this nation needs to embrace.

Suck it up. Press onward.

I find it interesting that we have put on this facade of being desirous of a unified nation yet, we have a political system and process that diametrically opposes that reality. Two major candidates of two political parties that historically take different sides on major issues, spend nearly a 12-month period duking it out, convincing the masses that the other is evil, attempting to uncover all matters of "bad press" and "fallacies", while simultaneously going through the other's dishonorable past with a mega-sieve, a magnifying glass and a hatchet. When the battle is finally "over", after we've all successfully decimated one another, everyone wants to start preaching "unity". Sorry folks, ain't gonna happen.

Conservatives and Liberals alike are calling for "togetherness", yet within minutes after Kerry admitted defeat, the Democrats were re-organizing and talking about a take-over in 2008 while Republicans started making plans on how to further oust the Liberal constituency. (As a brief interjection, I'd like to go on record as saying that in four years, this nation won't be open to electing a female president so they should just give up the Hillary bid now.)

Furthermore, the far left of this country didn't even wait 24 hours before they started projecting insipid bile across the underground media floor. The concept of gracefully taking a defeat is apparently an antiquated concept to many. One would think that people would take heed and follow suite of the graciousness of their candidate/leader, but we must be honest with ourselves. By and large, people don't care about unity; they care about their agendas. And as far as the East is from the West, so are the philosophies of how American citizens believe this country should be conducted.

Still, the phrase "the country is deeply divided" will continue to be heard throughout the months leading up to the inauguration. As if President Bush didn't have enough past baggage to schlep, he has the nearly impossible task of uniting the country before him. I don't covet his position in the least.

Inevitably, it is going to take our nation a bit of time before we can exit the pressure chamber of an intense year of presidential campaigning. Election time serves as a parallel universe whereby people intentionally polarize themselves and we excuse hatred, animosity, and bigotry on the grounds of "disagreement" and "political gain". The re-election of President Bush was representative of far more than a bunch of citizens haphazardly deciding that they'd like a guy with an accent in the White House. Bush supporters were just as reasoned in their selection as the Kerry base.

So much for predicting who would tip this election. In a few of the swing states especially, it wasn't the blacks or the youth or the security moms or the social security crowd that did it. It was the evangelical Christian base. How's that for a statement?

The issues of "morality" and "values" are paramount. Don't let anyone tell you different. Many will try to trample over these realities like they don't exist by scaring people into believing that putting Bush back into office will mean that we're all going to be unemployed and then die in a gruesome battle against terrorists while all the first born males are killed off Pharoh-style as a result of a war and public schools around the country will be forced to study the Bible.

I suspect that many politicians are apprehensive about the fact that a good percentage of Americans polled said their "moral values" played a large role in how they cast their votes. Morals? What are those? What do those have to do with voting? I thought this was a dualistic society!

This notion of "morality" and "values" is one that even the media throughout this election has carefully steered us away from. Why? Because the more we're forced to discuss "values" and "morality", the more we must acknowledge a definitive right and a wrong and the notion that perhaps, potentially, perchance, maybe a little bit, conceivably, our nation just might need some "standards" beyond "que sera sera". But of course that doesn't include the type of standards that remain true in spite of opposition's attempts to rake you across the coals because you have a lesbian daughter (who happens to be a legal adult). That would be unheard of.

So what is the definition of morality? What is good and what is bad? Who decides? All questions that have been craftily avoided by those who preach moral relativism. I guarantee that much political commentary from the Left will seek to redefine this idea of "values". By "redefine" I mean "water down", "neutralize" and make relative.

In the meantime, people are talking out of the sides of their necks.

The vapid claims of the disgruntled citizens that declared, "I'm leaving the country" as a result of this election are almost laughable. Americans across the map know good and well they have it made in this country and their spoiled Americanized behinds aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Poppycock. That's what those claims are. Purely childish rubbish.

And did you know that "America hates gay people"? That's right folks. According to many in the Democratic constituency, the fact that 11 states voted to approve bans on same-sex marriages means that America must really hate gay people. What, no talk of the "Religious Right" hating gay people? Now it's all of America eh? This is of course the same America that Democrats say they represent. This is the same America that supposedly wasn't properly reflected in this election.

The characterization of "Right" versus "Left" politics is hurting us. It's not the "one side versus the other" ideology per se, but it's the improper characterization of the sensible on both sides that is fueling unnecessary contempt. I don't for one minute believe that every Democrat thinks the same way about the future of this country. I don't believe every Republican does either. But to hear each side tell it, the opposition has no redeeming qualities.

I've both read and heard it said that Democrats are realizing that in order to gain any type of foothold in this country, their policy needs reform. If it takes a presidential defeat for them to realize this, then so be it. Let's just hope they write it down and take picture so as not to be hit with a bad case of selective amnesia next election. The Bush administration could stand to do the same.

People can attempt to trivialize the very values that swayed many voters in this country. They can act like it's some new "Fundamentalist Christian Revival" or Jesusland vs. America, but I beg to differ. America is not the America many thought it was. At the core, there are some moral issues on which many Americans disagree. This isn't going to just go away and people won't be manipulated out of thinking this way. With that reality at hand, I can't help but think all this "unity" talk is a bit far off.

Whoever said "hindsight is 20/20" didn't live in America in 2004.

I have much to say on the flop of the youth vote, but I just churned out an article on the topic so I'm not really in the mood. Maybe next week. Since its inception, I've been saying that the "youth voter registration cattle call" was missing a credible (or tangible) message. To perfectly illustrate my point, I direct you to "Punk Voter", a site which sought to use the influence of "punk culture" to rally youth to vote against Bush. Given the election no-shows of the younger generation, I'd say the title "Punk Voter" is entirely appropriate.

To drive home my accusations of emptiness, check out their "platform page". A few highlights:

Protecting Our Personal Freedoms

Punkvoter is working to fight to defend our personal freedoms and inalienable rights. We will be the loud, clear voice for the many minorities in our society. Our government was created to protect us not harass us. We want to make sure our government continues to guarantee all of our reproductive freedoms, and all of our rights to our own personal privacies. We believe equal rights under one set of laws should be paramount in any modern society.

I believe in order to get their point across, they would have been better off writing, "SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK!" What are rights to personal privacies? What are equal rights under one set of laws?

And then there's this lovely little ditty:

Overhauling our Justice Department

We want to send a very clear message to Washington, DC. It is time to modernize our society to match the rest of the free world. We must ban government sponsored executions and stop long-term imprisonment of non-violent criminals. It is time to repeal the Patriot Act and restore our first Amendment rights, repeal the Rave Act and restore our Freedom to Assemble, and rewrite our countries archaic and in- humane drug laws.

In-humane drug laws? That's code for marijuana legalization. Not a credible demand coming from the punk crowd. In fact, they were probably high when they wrote it.

God Bless America.

(By way of Janna)

This one's from my editor at Seaspot. I'm horrible on my moving deadlines for articles. You should see the email exchanges we have about the content of my articles. They're hilarious. I'll post them more. I received this email early this morning:

From: "Keith"
Date: Thu, November 4, 2004 1:03 am
To: "Ambra Nykol"
Subject: So, I might be rethinking my belief that God doesn't care...

Drudge is reporting that ashcroft will hand in his resignation within days. Between that and the sure knowledge that when I wake up there will be a column in my mailbox, I'm going to sleep like a baby on bourbon tonight.

Keith

He knows I like Mr. Ashcroft.

Thought I'd share these interesting pre-election thoughts from frump-boy. I especially like his admonition to black people:

"To African Americans:

First of all, let’s just acknowledge what you already know: America is a country which still has a race problem, to put it nicely. Al Gore would be president today had thousands of African Americans not had their right to vote stolen from them in Florida in 2000.

Here is my commitment: I will do everything I can to make sure that this will not happen again. And I’m not the only one making this pledge. Thousands of volunteer lawyers are flying to Florida to act as poll watchers and intervene should there be any attempts to deny anyone their right to vote. They will NOT be messing around.

For my part, I have organized an army of 1,200 professional and amateur filmmakers who will be armed with video cameras throughout the states of Florida and Ohio. At the first sign of criminality, we will dispatch a camera crew to where the vote fraud is taking place and record what is going on. We will put a big public spotlight on any wrongdoing by Republican officials in those two states. They will not get away with this as they did in 2000.

In Ohio, the Republicans are sending almost 2,000 paid “poll challengers” into the black precincts of Cleveland in an attempt to stop African Americans from voting. This action is beyond despicable. Do not let this stop you from voting. I, and thousand of others, will be there to fight for you and protect you."

My favorite line? "At the first sign of criminality, we will dispatch a camera crew to where the vote fraud is taking place and record what is going on"...(subtext: I will do this so that I can turn the footage into a crockumentary and make lots of money by exploiting you). Oh but wait. It's the conservatives who are the capitalists right?

You know we're in a different era when at the first sign of "criminal behavior" people threaten to "dispatch cameras" as a weapon. For Mr. Moore's sake, let's pray that gathering his footage didn't involve any running.

Many other bloggers that I highly respect are saying what I've been saying for quite some time: the big issues in this election were not terrorism and national security. Not at all.

Joe at the Evangelical Oupost notes:

"It was embryo destruction, not the economy. It was partial-birth abortion, not terrorism. It was same-sex marriage, and not the war in Iraq. If you want to see what killed the Democrats chances of regaining the White House just look at the issues we’ve been discussing on this blog for the past year. Exit polls show that in many states, “moral values” was a bigger issue than either the economy or terrorism. One in five voters throughout the Midwest was an evangelical. In Ohio, the state that will put the President over the top, that number was 25%, with Bush taking 75% of the evangelical vote.

The mainstream media, of course, will be shocked by this outcome. They shouldn't be."

Joshua Claybourn noted the same thing:

"In my estimation, there is a stronger undercurrent driving this election; something more than terrorism or the economy. That undercurrent is a culture war pitting traditional values against more progressive ones. In 11 states voters approved constitutional amendments to ban same-sex marriage, making it a clean sweep for advocates of marriage's traditional definition. Churches and value-driven voters came out in droves, and when they did they voted overwhelmingly for the president. Karl Rove has always said that nearly 4 million evangelical voters didn't vote for Bush in the 2000 election and they had every intention of changing that."

I think the word for the day (and the next four years) is "unity". President Bush has a tough job ahead of him.

(Update 8:16 PST) NBC just reported that John Kerry called President Bush to concede.

Me and my credentialed self are calling it a win. Take that for whatever it's worth. When it's official, I have some emails to shoot to a few commenters who've contended with me for 8 months that Kerry would win. I'm pretty good at gloating when it turns out that I'm right.

So it seems the youth did not vote. They only made up 17% of voters which is the same number as last year. But that's according to the pollers who talk to the drunken college students. Yep, the reasons for this apathy will be my column topic next week.

I did however, have a chance to put together what I feel are some of the best pictures of November 2nd > >

Bush and family sit back and watch the results. Gotta respect a man who can cross his legs without looking feminine.

Improper use of the American