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Phew! What a ride. I am no web designer and that was perhaps the most horrendous experience in my online life. So a little about the new site. Everything is different; bio, picture, links, and I intend to make more changes throughout the week. This is the first step in my eventual move to a new publishing platform. The goal was a layout softer on the eyes, more user-friendly, and more indicitive of my personality. It's a little wide and views differently depending on the browser, so you may have to scroll horizontally. If this gets annoying, let me know. All feedback welcomed (slow-loading, etc.) Enjoy!

Oh. And happy Memorial Day.

Today marks the national opening of the suprisingly non-controversial movie Soul Plane. If you've even seen 30 seconds of the film preview, it is clear that the folks at MGM took a double dose of plain, old, ignorance when they conjured up this one. You might as well be watching a music video on BET. This movie offends on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. It's hard to even point the finger. Who should we be upset with for perpetuating such stereotypical garbage? I recall a time last year when actor Will Smith was quoted as saying something rather prolific about the film industry, "Hollywood isn't black or white. It's green." My family and I managed to have quite an interesting debate about this statement alone. What is it about the movie industry that fuels such ignorance, complete irreverence, misogyny, and stereotyping?

You often hear people say things like, "Hollywood is racist". Generally this comment is directed towards the fact that people of color are underrepresented in film and television. I've never been in Hollywood so I am in no position to comment on a struggle about which I know nothing. What I do know is that the number of people of color in leading (and edifying) roles has been low in the past. Things have definitely changed since the day black actresses were only relegated to roles as servants or maids. I still say there's more honor in that than some of these roles certain black actresses are taking on these days. I wish I was blogging back when Halle Berry won an Oscar for her "riveting performance" in Monster's Ball because I would've had something to say about that. Hattie McDaniel has one over Halle Berry: she didn't have to take her clothes off to win an Oscar.

Then there are those who claim, "Hollywood isn't racist. It's all about money". I can agree with this more and more as the days go by. However, at what point are we the viewers, the ones buying the tickets, held accountable for what we sow into? Hollywood isn't going to produce something that they don't think people will watch. For this very reason, every major media conglomerate turned down a partnership with Mel Gibson when he was shopping around his little ole' Jesus movie. So when we buy into stereotypical junk, now who's racist, the producers or the viewers? Or both?

Back in 2000, Spike Lee, perhaps one of my least favorite filmmakers, piloted a movie that I thought had the potential to completely rip the covers off the adulterers in bed with the television industry, Bamboozled. The film essentially centered around a television producer who wanted to air a modern-day minstrel show starring a tap dancer (who happens to be a personal friend of mine) and other black actors in black face. As with all things Spike Lee, the film was an attempt to address some racial stereotyping and deeper psychological issues that have been rampant in mass media. Sounds nice right? Too bad the film was crap. Too many mixed messages, too messy of a plot. The film was conceptually brilliant, but over-zealous Spike was his usual confusing self.

The whole idea of the modern-day minstrel show isn't too farfetched. Movies like Soul Plane banter around with trite black/white relations commentary while completely trouncing upon any prior work of reputable black actors to establish integrity and respect in an unforgiving business.

Bill Cosby's words concerning education and priorities couldn't have come at a more opportune time. Much of black culture has managed to perpetuate the notion of "excess" and "ignorance" to a place that is making many uncomfortable. Moreover, the NAACP does stupid things like awarding Queen Latifah an "Image Award" for best female performance in the movie Bringing Down 'Da House, an equally stereotypical embarrassment to common sense.

Younger black actors continue to accept these stereotypical and demeaning roles one would never see someone like Sidney Poiter play. Whether or not the stereotypes are true, at some point or another they become so because we have confused real and fake and many people are simply a product of what they've seen on teleivision. We're so confused, actually think we are "the maid".

Audiences and movie critics laud these performances as though they are great advancements in our cultural history. The trouble is, much of the black community is too brainwashed to recognize they are being made fools on the big screen. So we just keep smiling entertaining. Meanwhile, white people (and all people) will go in droves to see a movie like Soul Plane. They'll laugh at it too because it's funny and it's not too far from the truth. It's a snapshot of a generation who's lost track of priorities and perspective. As far as I'm concerned, D.L. Hughley, Mo'nique, and everyone else who stars in Soul Plane may as well have on blackface because that's what this: a modern day minstrel show.

So we're working on a re-design here at nykola.com headquarters. Our staff is not that big so posting seems to have taken a backseat to html coding, which makes us grumpy. There are oh so many more fruitful and productive things to do in line than code html. so extreme lack of content is due to this very fact. This is unfortunate as there is so much newsworthy material worth blogging about. New site launch is expected Sunday or Monday at the latest. After receiving an email from a reader who said she was going cross-eyed trying to read the little font on a dark background, we figured it was time to do some remodeling. I'm about as tired of looking at the cheesy black girl logo as you are.

In recent news: John Kerry was here in Seattle yesterday campaigning, raising obscene amounts of money, and schmoozing with the people. I generally have commented that I consider myself a fairly good judge of character, and I don't know what it is, but I just can't take Sen. Kerry as genuine. Maybe it's just politics, but every word he speaks seems so entirely calculated as though he were reading from cue cards. BO-RING. Maybe it's just the nature of politics. I don't know how politicians do it. I would probably not be a good candidate for any sort of political office. I'm far too loose-tongued if you know what I mean. Plus, when I don't feel like smiling, I don't smile. Presidential candidates don't seem to have that luxury. Neither do pageant contestants. In fact, there are some striking similarities between the two. But let's not go there.

Also in politics, Al Gore has lost his mind. Perhaps the worship of Gaia has pushed him over the deep end. Was it just me or did it seem like he needed a Hammond B3 organ going on in the background of his speech? (For readers who are unfamiliar with this reference, visit a local pentecostal church for more clarity) In any case, Gore's speech just goes to prove, you can yell anything and people will get excited.

I watched American Idol tonight. I fell off the wagon. Hard. And I'm proud to announce that for the first time ever, I actually voted. I just couldn't let cheerleader girl win. I repent. And trust me, I feel really bad about my self-control. I'm certain this speaks volumes about my character. Oh well, that Fantasia girl is dang good.

Update: Restoring my faith in the hearing of America, Fantasia wins the competition. There is a God. I pray she doesn't do the typical and stray far from her gospel roots in the wake of fame.

I never thought I would say it, but I think I hate Wal-Mart. This weekend, on two occasions, I had to enter the doors of a place I used to love but have now come to detest. Immensely.

No I haven't jumped on the bandwagon of Wal-Mart hatred that has become so trendy lately amongst the anti-establishment and anti-anything-that-makes-money trustafarians. In fact, I get rather irritated by those who mouth off about how much they hate Wal-Mart and use things like "unfair labor practices" and "big business" as a smokescreen for the fact that they really desipse how much money Wal-Mart is making. Well, I am not one of those people.

I actually once enjoyed shopping at Wal-Mart. During my freshman year of college, I probably dropped a good $800+ there on dorm trimmings alone. Wal-Mart is a college student's dream. Always low prices. Always. My distaste for Wal-Mart is soley based on the fact that I feel like I'm responding to a cattle call every time I go there. Wal-Mart is not just a store. It is an experience.

If you're planning on visiting Wal-Mart anytime soon, be certain you pray first. You need to be covered in prayer--lots of intense prayer. For myself, I'd add a little fasting too. Fasting is necessary if you have trouble restraining yourself from telling dense people how stupid they are. Pray for patience. You'll need that right away. Like, before you even go into the store.

Patience comes in handy in the parking lot. Parking is no problem if you don't mind a 25 minute wait for a spot. Call me silly, but I mind. I think I almost had an out of body experience once when this guy in a Toyota Corolla maliciously stole my spot. Is there a nice way to call someone a jerk? Probably best just to say, "God Bless You".

When you do finally find a spot, bring some trail mix, a sherpa, and a compass to find your way to the store. I usually have to trek a good quarter of a mile just to get to from my car to the building, where I am immediately accosted by the annoying people-botherers trying to get me to sign some petition for teacher's rights or register to vote. I usually inform said soliciters that I don't sign any petitions without first reading them and I don't care how good "teacher's rights" sounds, I'm not about to slap my name on some "petition" and have it come out one day when I'm running for president of the NAACP, that I signed a petition to eliminate funding for some afterschool program.

When you enter into the circus they call Wal-Mart, you are promptly greeted by 87 shopping carts missing owners, bitter customer service representatives and a McDonalds. This is a recipe for disaster. The phrases, "Excuse me" and "Pardon me" and "Move your big behind out of the way please" become a huge part of your lexicon. These phrases can be said up to two dozen times as one maneuvers their way through crowds of people bottlenecking at the clearance shelf.

Oh look! A new "Atkins drink" for sale, I notice. What a racket.

Oooh look! There's a commotion over at the "two for $11.99" DVD bin!

Everytime I shop at Wal-Mart I feel less like a human being and more like an animal. This is nothing against Sam Walton or his entire rich and lovely family. I wouldn't mind holding stock in such a company. Although, while I was once a vigilant defender of Wal-Mart, I am becoming more convinced that they are partly responsible for perpetuating the lower-class citizen mentality that decends upon every customer who steps foot in their doors.

I try to fight it. I know I am a person raised with pretty good manners, but after about 10 minutes, I am ready to start pushing and shoving my way into the toilet-paper sale aisle just like everyone else.

Then there is the improper use of the intercom system. OH the improper use of the intercom!

"Kendra, calling Kendra, you need to get to the customer service desk now! This is the third time we've asked you! Get over here right now Kendraaaaaaaaaa!"

Please stop that. It's agitating. Now I'm no expert, but I'm pretty certain the loudspeaker should not be used for chastizing other employees. That seems pretty tacky. But wait a minute, this is Wal-Mart.

The intercom ignorance is onl exacerbated by the seemingly trillions of children that have been separated from a parent.

"Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, there is a 6-year-old boy wearing a read shirt at the customer service desk that can't find his mother. If you are his mother, please come get him"

Twenty minutes later, same announcement, same kid. Um, could it be that people go to Wal-Mart with the specific intention of losing their children? As if to say, "Oops! Even though I can't find my child, I thought they were talking about the other 6-year-old boy wearing the red shirt." Child abandoners? I think so. Still, if you can manage to drown out the igorance on the intercom, you should be okay.

That is, until you get to the checkout stand--the pinnacle of the Wal-Mart experience. This is where all civility and common decency are completely lost and your true character is put to the test. This is the place that can break a weak-minded individual. This is the place where you must inform "Miss Independent" in the hot pink shirt that she has just cut you in the line. At this point, "Miss Independent" is highly likely to turn around and cuss you out and say things to you even your own mother wouldn't say. Be strong. Don't let her cut you. Once you've staked out your spot in line, you can't rest easy yet.

Chances are, your "brilliant idea" to get into the "10 items or less Express Line" will turn out to be not-so-brilliant when you realize that most people in line have approximately 67 items. Apparently, most folks don't read signs or count. Or even worse, don't read at all.

My end purchase of a whopping $20.19 makes me wonder if it was even worth it. Apparently millions of people think it is. They keep shopping. Maybe it's just Seattle Wal-Marts. Yeah, that must be it.

The work of Bill Cosby in the entertainment industry is deep and wide. We all know that in addition to his work on television and as a comedian, Cosby has long had a legacy for being a proponent of education. I can't think of one time he didn't appear on the Cosby Show sporting the sweatshirt of some obscure college or university. Monday, he shocked even NAACP President Kwesi Mfume with his remarks when he was honored at an event commemorating the anniversary of the Brown v. Board of Education decision,

"Ladies and gentlemen, the lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids - $500 sneakers for what? And won't spend $200 for 'Hooked on Phonics.'"

Somebody better preach on that one. Every major societal problem can be traced back to the family. One can imagine this was not the uplifting message on the plight of black people in education NAACP officials were hoping for. You'll be hard-pressed to find much in the news about his comments, but they are being felt throughout the black community and beyond.

Perhaps what worries me the most is the fact that Cosby, at age 66, is headed into the last quarter of his life and has yet to fully impart all that is within him to this generation. This is not Cosby's fault. This is our fault. Someone as influential as Mr. Cosby can stand before a group like the NAACP and utter those very words and many will not understand or recognize the significance of the fathering spirit. I have said for many years that Bill Cosby has not yet walked into the fullness of the respect he deserves as a man of wisdom and experience. This will be to our detriment if we don't take heed to the words our elders speak. We need to shake off this illegitimate child mentality and start receiving those who are attempt to speak into our lives. I suppose it is more cyclic than we'd like to think. Many in the black community cannot receive Cosby's words as a father because they themselves have never had a father. And thus, that value of impartation is not recognized or appreciated. Well, that needs to change. Quickly. I fear people will rally around Cosby's words for a couple of months and then once the hype dies down, we'll be back to complacency as usual.

One of the areas I've most admired about Mr. Cosby is his commitment to family, but more importantly, his commitment to Fatherhood. In the era where the male household figure is predominately portrayed to be a bumbling bafoon of sorts, Bill Cosby has always made sure that anything he put his name on gave fatherhood its due respect and honor. Bill Cosby is once again adding his television-genius to a new animated series based on his best-selling book, Fatherhood. The cartoon will bear the book's name. Here is the Nickelodeon press release:

Nick at Nite, the home to modern classic TV, will premiere its first original animated series, Fatherhood. Based on legendary comedian Bill Cosby's best-selling book, "Fatherhood," this original series will premiere June, 2004 and be executive produced by Cosby. Each installment of the animated series will be a comedic, yet insightful journey that features the challenges, life lessons and confusions of family life. Blair Underwood will star as the voice of Dr. Bindlebeep -- a high school teacher, loving husband and father of three. Sabrina Le Beauf, who played Sondra, Cliff Huxtable's eldest child on the beloved hit sitcom The Cosby Show, will star as Dr. Bindlebeep's wife.

This series is a far cry from the sarcastic and sac-religious cult-comedy of top-rated shows like The Simpsons and SouthPark. To think that he has centered an entire series around the role of a father is admirable, and rare. Fatherhood premieres on Father's Day, June 20th at 9 pm on Nickelodeon.

To compare Bill Cosby with any of the current top black comedians is just no match. Cosby is on an entirely different level. To compare the work he's done in the television industry with our modern-day sitcoms is like pitting Muhammad Ali in his prime against Regis Philbin. There's just no match. I would label the work Cosby has done "edutainment". In the days when people are putting mindless filth on the airwaves, I have always appreciated Cosby's attempt at something greater than just entertaining people. One of his most recent ventures includes appearing on Philadelphia schools television to encourage kids and parents to form a partnership with homework. I am encouraged that Cosby is speaking out more in his prime. I believe the years we have left with him are numbered and there is a great wealth of insight he has to offer this generation. I pray we take heed and listen.

I have often discussed my lack of appreciation for certain social and political organizations. These are not just any organizations. Some of these are organizations whose life's work is to beat the air about every un-relevant issue under the sun. Others have somehow gone bad over the years. All of them have postured themselves in a position of insane influence on the culture. I present my beginning list of Tools of the 21st Century:

The NAACP

This should not come as a suprise to anyone who's ever graced this website. While the NAACP may have at one point been a worthwhile and worthy organization, they have now reduced themselves to a useless, mindless, and lawsuit happy, pound of opportunistic flesh. This organization is doing absolutely nothing to advance "colored people". Instead, they advance themselves and their own agenda through illegitimate lawsuits, complaints, and public displays of embarrassment. Let's keep in mind, this is an organization whose entire livelihood is determined by lawsuit settlements, donations, and membership dues. Not a good combination if you ask me. As La Shawn Barber so eloquently writes, kill the dinoasaur!

PETA
Everytime I hear of this organazation's silly antics, it makes me want to go slap somebody and eat a hamburger. If this organization isn't complaining about fur coats or Halle Berry being a spokeswoman for the animal-testing Revlon company, then they're busy passing out religious tracts (yes, they are a religion) about vegetarianism and veganism to school children. I cannot think of one thing this organization does that is admirable or legitimate. They place animals on the same level as humans and tell kids their mother is wicked because she cooks chicken for dinner. We all have better things to do with our time and bigger fish to fry. Yes, yummy fish. Fish that was killed by humans so that I could enjoy it in my tummy. Fish that is on this very Earth for the purposes of providing nourishment to those who choose to eat it. There's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian, but for the love of all things pure, do not proselytize the children. Every year it seems their agenda teeters on the line of complete pychopathy and their members have become more and more belligerant. If PETA had their way, we'd all be worshipping animals.

Planned Parenthood

Many organizations started out with a good foundation and later morphed into something obsolete. This is not the case for Planned Parenthood. Since its inception, Planned Parenthood has been downright evil. Not only is this the same organization that singlehandedly led the abortion-movement to the disgusting and acceptable "norm" it is in our present society, they also are on a mission to play God to the world through sterilazation in third world countries, offering abortions to teenager girls without parental consent,and handing out condoms to 12-year old boys. Although they would deny it, the roots of Planned Parenthood are racist. Its founder, Margaret Sanger, was on a mission to rid the world of people of color through "family planning". This is an organization that has done obscene amounts of harm to this country and they get lots of money donated to do it. The madness needs to be exposed.

Greenpeace

They claim to "give the Earth a voice". Boys and girls, please stop with this silliness. The Earth does not need a voice. The Earth is not a human. Now maybe those who live in Nebarska or other landlocked parts of the country haven't been exposed to enough of GreenPeace to recognize how much they deserve to be on this list. But I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, where we spend MILLIONS of dollars saving whales. I watched as most news-worthy events were completely pre-empted so that Northwest news stations could cover the transport of "Keiko the killer whale" back to her home in Greenland. Give me a break! There are people starving in the Sudan and we concern ourselves with silly whales who shouldn't have been in captivity in the first place. Greenpeace has found a unique partnership with unsuspecting college students hungry for a cause. They usually roam about highly populated areas of Seattle and other major cities handing out literature and greeting passerbys with the phrase, "Do you have a moment for Greenpeace?", to which I always reply, "Nope, I sure don't." Their mission statement includes the fact that they use, "non-violent, creative confrontation to expose global environmental problems, and force solutions for a green and peaceful future". Translated: they block highways, hang from construction cranes, spray paint buildings and cause major back-ups on highway overpasses in protest of companies who cut down trees. Stop wasting my tax dollars and my time.

The American Cancer Society
I might get hated for this but I don't care. ACS is one of the absolute wealthiest non-profit organizations in the world. Millionaires and billionaires sit on their board. Yet, I find something inherently wrong with any organization whose foremost purpose is to research and find a cure for a disease. Donations pour in year after from people who've lost loved ones and corporate sponsors all hoping to do their part in finding a cure for cancer, or at least make life better for those living with it. So what happens when the cure is found (if it hasn't been found already)? Do we disband the organization and file for unemployment? Can you smell the potential conflict of interest? Well I do. I'm all for finding a cure for cancer as I've lost loved ones too. I am also smart enough to recognize that when an organization spends upwards of 60% of their annual fund on overhead costs, new buildings, and luxiourious salaries, something isn't right. Don't think Enron is the only one capable of scandal.

So it's no shocker that Mel Gibson's film The Passion of the Christ is completely decimating the competition. The film currently has the #7 slot on the list of highest-grossing movies of all time right between Lord of the Rings and Jurrasic Park (rather telling, I'd say). Final figures can't even be predicted yet so it's assumed that #7 slot will change. The Passion is set to release to DVD very soon and has only recently opened in many international markets. It's safe to say the "bling" is still rolling in. With the success of The Passion, much conversation has been bouncing around about Hollywood venturing into the area of "faith films". I personally don't think we'll ever see "moral" films rightly portrayed until Hollywood actually becomes moral and there's a lot of work to do there. Righteousness is probably the only thing in the world that can't be faked. Not even expensive sets and fancy make-up artists can help that. However, more recently at the forefront of the "faith film" frenzy is the movie Saved starring young adult-boppers Macaulay Culkin and Mandy Moore. Saved was already in the workds before the public success of Gibson's film, and it's a lower budget film that will most likely make the rounds among the independent and small film festival circuits so there's no point in even comparing the two (although the film does do so by poking fun at the Passion by a play on words on their website). The film is set on the campus of a private Christian high school where teenagers struggling with homosexuality, drugs and sex are a plenty. Is this realistic? Unfortunately-- absolutely, yes. However, the film's resolution is not exactly a positive one. The basic synopsis of the film is a group of "Jesusfreaks" disown their friend who gets pregnant in an attempts to "deprogram" her boyfriend out of homosexuality by having sex with him. Lofty, yes. Does it happen, in some circles, yes. Are they out to prove a point? More than likely yes, and probably a controversial one too. The film is definitley more of a satirical dark comedy, although the filmmakers would argue otherwise.

If the film's website is any indication of the movie itself, than I'd say the media is right if they don't think Christians will appreciate it. (Just click around the website for a minute and you'll see what I mean). Columnists are already predicting that Christians won't see the humor. I'd take it a step further to say not only don't I see it, it's completely irreverent and over-the-top. Interestingly enough, the film's website has a section called "Christian Guide". Yeah, okay, whatever. The filmmakers purport that the movie is intended to spark dialogue around "true faith", the real issues with which Christian teenagers are grappling, and what's "not acceptable" to talk about in the church. Nice goals. Questionable path. Well now wait a minute. Let's surf the production credits for a moment....oh yes, now this is interesting: The film boasts some of the same production team responsible for Being John Malkovich, and what's this...Underworld? Oh yeah, sure that's really a morally sound film. NEXT!

Lewis Schaeffer of the National Review notes that gay audiences "love" the film. Nuff said. If that's not enough to let me know something is horribly askew with this film, I don't know what is. Now maybe some other people brush that kind of stuff under the rug, but in following with my other trends of thought concerning the homosexual agenda, I'd definitely say red flag anything the gay community is behind. Like a huge, gigantic, NEON, red flag with sequins, moving lights, and sirens. It will be interesting to see the outcome of this deflated attempt at social dialogue. They won't be getting my money.

Boxing. I have witnessed quite a few fights in my lifetime. Of course, being that I am young, it's nothing of the illustrious Ali-Frazier era, but more the ear-biting Tyson-Holyfield era. Afterall, my cousin is a pretty famous boxer, so my family's followed it pretty closely through the years. This said, I do not understand the dynamic of two men (and nowadays women) getting in a ring, and beating the crap out of eachother. I say this in the wake of the Antonio Tarver/Roy Jones upset.

Bungee Jumping. A rubberband. A cliff. A person. This is an equation that just doesn't add up for me. You could not pay me millions of dollars to subject my body (the only body I have) to this foolishness.

Curling. No matter how many times I watch this sport, I cannot understand the point. A bunch of men with brooms, wearing bowling shoes, roll a block of granite on some ice while sweeping its path?

I suppose if you break down just about any sport, it seems pretty pointless. Basketball: people running back and forth down a court trying to throw a ball in a basket. Baseball: people hitting a ball into a field with a bat in order to buy time to run around bases. I think the thing that always gets me is how much of a priority we've made sports. Here in Seattle there are schools that have no computers and no textbooks. Yet, we and our tax dollars just got finished building two multi-million dollar statidums (one for baseball and one for football), side-by-side. It is there that millions of Seattle residents spend 33% of the year worshipping at the altar of two losing teams.

I was never taught to see the favor of God as superceding the systems of men

From the time that I gave my life to God when I was 16 years-old, I've always felt different. I knew I was marked, I knew my life was branded forever, I knew I wasn't like the average person. I have often noticed that many Christians do not have the proper perspective on their rights and privileges as sons and co-heirs with Christ. It is interesting that "privilege" in this country is often assumed to be a negative thing. People scoff at those who've had the descriptor "privileged" bestowed on them. I've never quite understood why we've built up such an animosity for the "privileged". I spent most of my entire scholastic career amongst privileged individuals and even they began to despise their own privileged-ness. Most people in the United States of America are of the persuasion that certain people in this country are where they are today because of some nepotism, their race, their gender, their class, their educational background (which is usually dictated by class and race), and many other things. I can't say I disagree with that theory. What I will say is that I believe there is privilege in belonging to God that supercedes all other privileges and some.

Being that I am a black person, I can take this a step further and say that many black Christians have come to have more distrust in corrupt socially-generated systems than they have trust in the almighty God. Collectively as a people, we have turned to the government and other social institutions to meet many of our needs, and then turned around and placed blame on those very same institutions when they weren't doing what we thought they should do. Somehow the favor of God gets left out of all this. Speaking for all races, it seems we have come to be a nation of victims in many respects. We point our fingers in a number of different directions, blaming others for our present condition, or the choices and privileges we were denied. I am often bothered by Christians who spew this mythology of blame and dependence on "hand-outs" to rise to the proverbial top.

Every day I am becoming more aware of the always present reality that being a child of God has more rights, privileges, and responsibilities than anyone could ever imagine or keep track of. Not only do we not have to be subject to many of the corrupt schemes and systems that are holding so many back, we have power over them! We carry on our backs, a knapsack of favor and privilege everywhere we go. This knapsack we have isn't invisible; it's neon yellow, plain for the world to see. The favor of God on a person's life is perhaps the most beautiful thing. This knapsack isn't to be shown off or flaunted. It's to give God the glory and draw others to him.

Having this privilege as a child of God is definitely something we are accountable for. In fact, I think it's a travesty when we don't exercise our influence and keep that knapsack closed. I decided to take some time out to think about all the glorious privileges of God I've experienced in my life. In listing some of these out, I realize these are situations and certainties to which many others cannot lay claim. This is the essence of true privilege.

1. I can arrange to be in God's presence anytime I want.
2. If I need to move to a different location, I can be pretty sure that when renting an apartment or purchasing a house, God already has one available and waiting for me.
3. I can go shopping alone and pretty much expect to get a good deal, special favor, or an unexpected blessing along the way.
4. I can turn on the television or look at the front page of the newspaper and get insight into things the average person can't see.
5. When I go to a professional establishment, I can usually expect to receive the best service.
6. When I am sick, I can seek healing for my body anytime I want.
7. I can make mistakes in my past and not have them held against me in my future.

8. When considering a spouse, I don't have to stress out about if that person is "the one".
   
9. I get to see miracles every day.
   
10. When I am in need of income I can guarantee that I will be taken care of at all times.
    
11. Food, clothing, and shelter are things I never have to worry about.
    
12. When I drive in my car, I have a hedge of protection around me.
    
13. I don't have to be afraid of anything.
    
14. I can do well in a challenging situation and be a credit to God alone.
    
15. When I speak, people listen.
    
16. I don't need affirmative action to get into college or get a job.
    
17. I have exposure and access to the most diverse group on people on the earth.
    
18. I can be placed in high positions of influence and power I don't even deserve.
    
19. If I find myself in a bad situation that seems completely unchangeable, I know someone who can change it.
    
20. I can get a job I'm not qualified for.
    
21. I can have peace in the midst of chaos.
    
22. I don't have to fight my own battles.
    
23. I have protection everywhere I go.
    
24. I always have someone I can talk to.

25. I can have insight about people and situations without anyone telling me so.
    
26. I have business ideas no one's ever thought of.
    
27. I have the cure to every disease.
    
28. If I'm having a bad day, the joy of the Lord is my strength.
    
29. Death has no mastery over me.

In unpacking this neon knapsack of God privilege, I have listed conditions of daily experience which I once took for granted. I now know that these are realities I can be certain of every day. I am unsure of why many don't embrace this burden of privilege. Sometimes I think it's easier to just blame others instead of trusting in a God who's so much bigger than our petty situations. There is so much more to say here, but it will be saved for a later time.

**Loosely based on an essay titled "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" by Peggy McIntosh, an article I've come to disagree with more and more each day.

It's what I feel every single time I have to fill up my gas tank. Does ANYONE else think it is a horrible travesty to driving-kind that gas prices have sky-rocketed to the insane and gut-wrenching price at which they presently exist? Don't let me get started on gasoline. Everyone and their mother has their theory on why gas prices are so high, and you better believe they'll blame it on George W. Bush, his entire administration, and this "dang" war. I mean, doesn't everything trace back to that "evil wretch" of a president? Well, in fact no. Oh but wait, President Bush isn't really our president right? I rekon that even if we had a Democratic administration, Republicans would still be blamed for everything. We're a nation of victims I tell you. I have my theories around why I can feed a small village with the money I use to fill-up my tank. Most of my theories center somewhere around wicked people in low places, BET, Proctor & Gamble, Feed the Children, Bill Clinton, Al Roker, and the entire cast of Friends so let's just leave it at that. It's funny, I remember back in January when gas was around $1.65/gallon and I thought that was expensive. I vowed that if gas prices ever got to $2.00, I'd surrender my driving privileges indefinitely and take up public transportation (as crappy as it may be in Seattle). Well, gas is now about $2.05 here in Seattle and I can't say I've stopped driving much less. It's amazing how little we're willing to sacrifice for the things we say. Still, my wallet feels the agony.

More in the news of agony. Reporting to an employer. Call me rebellious, but I'm currently at the point where I am offended at the notion that even have to ask permission to go on vacation. Excuse me? Only two weeks you say? Pishawwww. This feeds right back into my plan of being in the financial position to retire (yes, I said retire) from working for another human being by this time next year. I am desperately in need of a challenge. This job is too dang easy and these people aren't paying me what my brain is worth.

And while we're on the subject of agony, let's talk about my impending wisdom teeth removal (a procedure I have put off about 4-5 years and for which I have still yet to make an appointment). All four of my wisdom teeth are in, visible and brushable. They are not impacted, they are not hurting me or anyone else, so let them be. I am certain God gave me them for a reason so stop trying to take them out!

Okay, enough about me and my problems. Funny thing happened today. It seems my website is the #2 search result (next to oprah.com) for any one of the combonations of "Marcus Dixon" "Kristie Brown" or "Rome, Georgia", referring to the widely publicized rape charges between those two parties and the recent release of Marcus Dixon from prison. This fact has left me with an inordinately high amount of first-time vistors who I'm sure were disappointed to find my ramblings on the state of education in our nation, birth control and Jesus Clothing. If you're here for that reason by the way, let me just be the first to welcome you and say you're truly welcome here today. I'd hug you if I could, but they haven't taken computers that far yet. Incidentally, I'm much nicer than I may sound on this website.

What is the weekend anyway? At one point in my life, I looked forward to these blissful two-days of sleeping in, pigging out, and doing absolutely nothing. Nowadays, I venture to say that my weekends are generally more busy than my weekdays. I sometimes have to get up on the weekends earlier than I do to go to work. This weekend was no different as it was packed with meetings, church and a host of other responsibilities. This didn't even account for the fact that mother's day was coming up.

(Caveat) I have a bone to pick with Hallmark, Shoebox, Dayspring and all the other greeting card manufacturers. CAN YOU GET ANY MORE GENERIC AND SAPPY? I had a doozy of a time locating a mother's day card that even fit my personality. I'm thinking of starting a greeting card company called "Sarcastic Greetings : for the person who just can't be serious". (By the way, that's intellectual property so don't you dare steal that idea). I'm all for sap but goll-y these greeting card writers are just horrendous. "Dearest Mother, for everything you've ever been to me, caring, sharing, throughout the years, I cherish you this day. Happy Mother's Day" Blah blah blah, excuse me while I go vomit. Then there's also the Christian or, excuse me shall I say "Religious and Inspirational" cards, which I swear aren't even written by real Christians. Someone picked a random Psalm or Proverb, slapped it on a greeting card, called it "Inspirational", and charged $4.99 for it. We've got work to do in the greeting card industry. (end Caveat)

As I was originally stating, this once again proved to be a busy weekend for me. Even though I had a Saturday morning meeting, I was looking forward to sleeping in until a comfortable time of 9:00 am. I'm certain you can imagine my excitement as I never get to sleep in this late. I was nestled under my very nice down comforter, enjoying that sweet, perfect, rest; we're talking good sleep, like in Jesus' bosom, like better than popsicles, never-wake-me-up rest. It was heavenly. So imagine my dismay when at 7:45 am on a Saturday morning, my phone rang. Surely I thought that someone in my family must be losing blood and on their way to the hospital for my phone to be ringing that early on a Saturday morning. Instead I hear,

"Hi this is Josh calling from the Fireman's Fund, how are you today?"

Anger. Rage. Fury. Irritation.

Me: I'm asleep
Josh: Oh really?
Me: It is SEVEN FORTY-FIVE on a Saturday morning, I'm ASLEEP Josh.
Josh: "Yeah I've gotten that a lot this morning."
Me: Maybe it's because you're calling people at the buttcrack of dawn on the weekend.
Josh: Oh well, I apologize for that, what I'm really calling you about today is...
Me: Save it. I'm not interested.
Josh: Well you don't even know what I'm going to ask you!

Me: Yes I do.
Josh: No you don't. Well then tell me?
(freeze frame) Now I know this monkey-fool is not trying to argue with a complete stranger who he JUST WOKE UP about what I do and do not know. (continue)
Me: (in a half-dazed slumber) You're going to ask me to give money. The answer is no. Good-bye
Josh: You don't want to support your local firemen?
Me: No Josh. I don't. Good-bye (click)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Firemen's Fund:

Please inform your volunteer staff that if they desire any sane citizen to donate their hard-earned finances to your organization, it advisable that your staff not wake them up by calling early on a Saturday morning or any morning for that matter and proceed to heckle them about their giving. Most people won't be as nice. Neither will I next time.

Kindly Pissed-Off,
A Concerned Citizen

It has been in the media for quite some time, but yesterday, the Food and Drug Administration rejected over-the-counter sales of the "morning-after pill", the latest emergency contraceptive also known as "Plan B". Interestingly enough, the FDA added the two words, "possibly reconsider" into their statement. The FDA rejected the proposal merely on the grounds that there was "no evidence teens younger than 16 could safely use the pills without a doctor's guidance - and it thus was rejecting the move until Barr (the company behind the pill) could provide that evidence." Though they were charged with not having done enough research, the company is planning on coming back stronger next time. The FDA left the door open for Barr Laboratories to try again, which means this case is not closed in the least. This is about money and let's not think for one moment that Barr is going away with their tail between their legs.

From its inception, I knew the "morning-after pill" would spell trouble. It was only a matter of time before they'd lobby for it to be easily placed in the hands of the average Joe-sette.

The market for making Plan B over-the-counter is undoubtedly the teenage population. The average adult would have no problem getting a prescription from their gynecologist or a local clinic. The main group of people who would benefit (and I use that term loosely) from this proposal are teenage girls who want the pill but don't want their parents to know. I usually red flag anything that attempts to usurp the rights of parents.

This whole concept just has "evil, greedy, bastards" written all over it. I don't say that to be flippant. When I say "bastards", I mean it. These individuals who think up these schemes to further advance the moral decay of our society are nothing more than illegitimate children. One of the major arguments of Plan B proponents is that it will "significantly reduce the number of abortions each year". Help us sweet Jesus! This is just disastrous. I cannot believe that sane people actually follow this logic.

Let's all go back to kindergarten concepts for just a moment. Babies are made when a man and a woman have sex. That is the only way babies are made. Invetro fertilization, artificial insemination, and all other forms of impregnating women are generally procedures performed on women who assumedly want to become pregnant and are therefore void in this reasoning. Based on this logic, it would seem that the best way to reduce the numbers of abortions is to reduce the number of unmarried people having sex. A preschooler could figure this out.

Teach young men to exercise a little self control. Teach young ladies to keep the nickel between their knees. If you want teenagers to stop having abortions, teach them to stop having sex. Teach them to choose Plan A. This concept is so overly simplistic and basic and it leaves lots of room for creativity so let's think beyond just "Abstinence Education". The Judeo-Christian ethics sure do lack innovation as of late. Since it seems humanity is intent on trying to come up with every way possible to not not have sex, can we think out of the box as well?

Perhaps even more "coincidental" is the fact that last night's episode of ER highlighted this very issue on the very same day the FDA rejected the proposal. Gee what are the chances? I smell hot conflict of interest cooking in the oven.

On the show, one of the teenage characters named "Rachel" traveled to the state in which her former doctor/step-mother was located just to get a prescription for the pills. She did this because she didn't want her real mother to find out. And get this, the doctor wrote the prescription! It was a sly attempt to brainwash the viewer into thinking that legalizing the pill over-the-counter is really the right thing to do. I wouldn't be surprised if Barr Laboratories paid a hefty sum of money for that plug. Is it just me, or do pharmaceutical companies have a huge propensity to be horribly wicked?

I wrote a few months back on how "Jimmie Hatz" are planning on pushing out "hip-hop" condoms to the urban masses. This is a downward spiral folks and I plead that we not see the day when the morning-after pill is being packaged with glossy pink and polka dot wrappers or being given as a "gift with purchase" when you buy the latest Christina Aguilera album. I don't want to see "Pro-Choice Barbie" or "do-it-yourself abortion kits" in the store. Planned Parenthood must be licking their lips over this issue.

So what does the counter-culture do? I certainly propose we do something different than what's currently being done. People like to sit on their high horses and talk about Christians shouldn't be bringing the gospel through media and other forms of mass-commercialism, but I say we need to get in the game. Sit on the sidelines of the culture war if you like, but this is a multi-sensory generation, and if we're not infiltrating mediums with a contrary message, then we will do ourselves a huge disservice in battle. If ER can push their message, we sure as heck can push ours.

Tomorrow night NBC may see some of its highest ratings yet as once again, tissue sales should rise around the country as another pointless television show about silly white people bites the dust. That's right, it's the "Friends" season finale. I can imagine that since "Friends" shares some of the same viewers as the equally if not even more pointless show "Sex and the City" did, a huge percentage of the mindless American public has taken a big blow over the last four months with the cancellation of both these shows. For me, bidding adieu to "Friends" will be slightly more difficult than "Syphilis and the City" since I never watched the latter. Do realize that I am currently talking out of two sides of my mouth because I myself have indulged in an episode or twelve of "Friends". Blame it on my predominately white high school. I do. Normal, healthy, black people just do not watch "Friends". I think it deals with cultural relevance. I even have a favorite episode or two.

The reality is, you can't engage me into a debate on how relevant "Friends" is to real life, because I know it's not. How on earth can six people manage to all maintain jobs, yet never go to work and spend most of their time hanging out in each other's apartments and a coffee shop? I'm sorry, but that behavior is just not a part of my culture. We're not just talking Tulsa, Oklahoma where rent is $300 a month. The setting of the show is New York City; where you need a broker to even get an apartment. Just how can these people afford $2500 rent when they never go to work? I think it's safe to say that all the "Friends" must have trust funds. Yep, that's it. They're just rich. Well, for $1,000,000 an episode, I'd be rich too.

There has been much talk, many articles written, and lots of theorizing around how the show "Friends" has impacted "the culture". Well, I'd say friends impacted the culture about the same way that "Seinfeld" did. It successfully showed the world that you can waste 30 minutes of your life doing and talking about absolutely nothing and manage to laugh at the same time. I think we are missing out on the days when television shows were actually worth something. The only hole that will be felt when "Friends" goes away will be in the wallets of NBC executives.

One of the shows I miss most tremendously is the "Cosby Show". From the time that it began, I have been an avid watcher of the Cosby show. Yes, even at age three, I never missed an episode. In fact, when the show moved to Thursday nights, my family went to evening Bible study and I insisted they tape it in our absence. My family calls me the resident Cosby Show expert because I probably have every single episode memorized verbatim. Not only that, I can extract and analyze just about every truth and life lesson possible that can be learned from every episode and apply it to daily life.

From my perspective this was one of the best shows of the last 20 years. It was a show that transcended culture. This was a show with staying power that did more than just make us laugh. I miss the days when sitcoms served a purpose in our society beyond entertainment.

I started writing on the Marcus Dixon case months ago with an attempt to point out some similarities (and not so similarities) with the Kobe Bryant trial. I have since stopped because there's just too much to say. However, in light of recent happenings in the Marcus Dixon/Kristie Brown case, I thought I'd throw around some ideas. Yesterday, Marcus Dixon was freed after serving 15 months in a Georgia prison for having sex with an underage girl, Kristie Brown (she was 15, he was 18). Dixon was convicted of aggravated child molestation. Georgia state law is very strict when it comes to sexual activity and minors. State law carries a mandatory prison sentence of 10 years for those convicted. The News-Journal.com reports:

In a 4-3 ruling Monday, the Georgia Supreme Court reversed the child molestation conviction. Dixon remains convicted of misdemeanor statutory rape, but he has already spent more than the required year in prison for that offense.

Because Dixon is black and his accuser is white, one can imagine this has turned into quite the controversy gaining attention by the likes of Oprah Winfrey and most unfortunately, the NAACP. If I were Dixon, I would have asked Kwesi Mfume and the rest of his cohorts to please keep my name out of their collective mouths. Notwithstanding the NAACP's involvment, this case has gained national attention from much of the media and has incited quite an interesting debate and once again surfaced a discussion around equity and justice as it relates to race.

I'll just put my opinion right out there. I don't believe Dixon raped this girl. I believe it was quite consentual (you don't just agree to meet in a classroom afterschool for the purpose of sexual favors). Nor did Kristie Brown trip and her clothes accidentally fell off. It is somewhat forgotten the fact that Kristie Brown initiated oral sex prior to anything taking place. However, I believe she became very upset at the fact that she lost her virginity (understandable), and then fearful that the rumor she was "with" a black guy would spread in their small, rural, and rather segregated town. This fear and trauma has caused her to not only fabricate this false perception of what took place, but she's also done so to the point where I believe she actually thinks she's telling the truth. If you've seen her interviewed and have a smattering of discernment, you can tell she is not telling the truth. My prediction is about 25-30 years from now, Newsweek will do some big article where Brown comes forward with a confession about how she really lied about the rape allegations and was coerced into doing so by her parents, namely her racist father. There is nothing new under the grand ole sun. It's a classic case of "he said/she said". The most unfortunate reality is that in those types of cases, it's all about credibility. If you had to choose a babysitter for your children, who would you choose? The nice 15-year old southern white girl or the 18 year-old black football player who admitted to having sex with a younger girl? If you've watched 30 minutes of television in your life, you'd have chosen the white southern girl. In my opinion, the fact that Marcus Dixon did in fact have sex with Kristie Brown completely ruins his credibility. Just as the fact that Kobe Bryant committed adultry rightfully vilifies him in the eyes of the general public. In the case of Dixon, a Georgia court thought so too and convicted him, although most on the jury didn't realize the sentence it carried.

In all honesty, I feel sorry for both Kristie and Marcus. See, they are the product of a moral breakdown. It is interesting that everyone has tooted the horn of Dixon for being a star athelete, great student with a 3.9 grade point average, and earning a full scholarship to Vanderbilt University. I don't quite see what this has to do with much of anything except to say that we put intelligence and accolades on the same playing field as moral stability when in fact the two are not related at all. That's a big mistake on our part. I wrote a few months ago on the Fallen Man about this very topic. To think Dixon blew all that for a few moments of self-gratification and extremely poor judgment is pretty disheartening. Then there's the fact that Kristie was a "nice southern girl" and supposedly an "unsuspecting sophmore". This got highly overplayed by the media as well. This is the same girl who clearly out of a lack of self-identity, offered her "services" to a classmate, and ultimately was in consent to give up her virginity on a desk in a classroom portable. How low can you go? Apparently in Kristie's case, very low. If we really want to be honest with ourselves, we will recognize that Dixon got himself in hot water not because he was black (although a white person may not have received the same backlash), but ultimately because he compromised in the area of sexual purity. There's David and Bathsheba, Sampson and Delilah, and now Marcus & Kristie. We're all living epistles and poor self-image it what's gotten humanity into trouble from the beginning of time. There are probably millions of teenagers all over the world who could have been charged with the same crime Dixon was. This however, doesn't preclude Dixon from being made into a prime example of what can happen when you think with your genitalia and not your conscience. To whom much is given, much is required. I can only hope that Dixon has learned the true lesson that can be extracted from this situation.

From a story on Oprah.com:

Some say the case is not about sex between two teenagers, but really about the racial prejudices that still exist in this small, rural town of Rome, Georgia.

Well I say it is about sex between two teenagers. In many ways, Dixon brought this situation onto himself. He was clearly a young man with a promising future and I still believe he was innocent of the charges against him (rape), but he put himself in a compromising situation. There was no good reason why he should have even been alone with Kristie in that classroom portable with the door locked and the blinds closed. I don't care if he was tutoring her in math. Perception is everything; especially in Rome, Georgia. It was her word against his and he admits that he did have sex with her. The question of whether or not it was consensual is what's really up for debate. And by golly, we wouldn't even be in this quagmire if we had just kept our pants up and our legs closed. I'm sure it sounds rather fundamental, but teenage sex causes more societal problems than most sociologists care to admit. It is interesting however, that throughout all the debate, there has really been no conversation around whether or not these two should have been having sexual relations in the first place.

Oy vey. It's May 3rd and still no new weblog format and publishing platform. What in Sam Hill happened to the month of April? Is it just me or did that month barely take its coat off to stay awhile? No one ever tells you that life after high school is a downward spiral of time. For me, time is that carrot dangling in front of me on a string that I can never quite catch up with. I've actually started getting 5-year reunion notices in the mail (silly to come together after only five years before the kids, the marriages, the divorces, and the money) and it still freaks me out quite a bit. This adult stuff can be frightening at times to say the least. When I originally started this weblog, I wanted it to be a steroid injected version of my brain (which is very random and sometimes quite offensive), as well as a place for me to vent my daily discoveries of the reality of being a grown-up. Trust me when I say there are lots of discoveries I could write a rather humorous book about. There are the little things no one ever tells you like the perils of buying bed sheets. Whoever knew that there were 1,645 different kinds of sheets? There's flannel, jersey-knit, 200 thread count, 300 thread count, 600 thread count, Egyptian Cotton, satin, and even sateen. If you want to ruin a new adult's self-esteem, just send them to the store to buy sheets. It will singelhandedly send them crying home, begging for mercy. I don't know how men do this. I'm a woman, and I found it mentally taxing and rather expensive. Some semi-nice sheets will run you at least $50-100 easy (unless you're a savings sleuth like me). Part of me wonders how the Ku Klux Klan ever cut up all those perfectly good white sheets. Somewhere there was a mother who was not too happy with her white supremecist son. (This'll make for some interesting search engine boolean) I am now proud to report that I am a strict adherer to a sheet thread count of no less than 300. However, I had to sleep on sandpaper and wake up with rug burn on my face before I realized there was indeed a big difference.

Then there's this whole issue of co-habitation. My friends are starting to get married, and God help us all when they start having babies because that might be too much for me to handle. Last summer, I dropped a small fortune on wedding gifts and I'm not looking forward to doing the same again for the next 10 years of my life. Yes, I am coming to the realization that I'm getting old. I realize that I am young, and scoff if you will at my saying this, but I really am getting old. I say this with a great deal of pride and intrepidation. I'm never going to be one of those people who lies on their driver's license and hushes birthday well-wishers in an effort to conceal their age. In fact, I absolutely love birthdays and wear my age like a badge. This is mostly because many people think I am 12 years old and if I don't wear my age, they wouldn't let me register to vote. As every month passes by, it puts me even closer to the dreaded day when I shall turn 23; an evil prime number I've come to detest since my youth (I've always felt uneasy about the lack of wholesomeness in prime numbers). Call me crazy, but I'd rather be 24 than 23.

I'm living to learn that time doesn't just fly when you're having fun. It also flies when you're not having fun, when you're complacent, when you're bored, and when you're asleep. Time just flat out flies. I currently work for a great, reputable company run on some very sound and moral principles. I have a nice job with great benefits, 401(k), profit sharing, stock options, great stuff. To top it off, I work with a great team of people who more or less support my career goals (those they know of). More recently I've come from behind my desk and begun facilitating and training which is my true heart and passion and being the extroveret I am, I could do it all day every day, no complaints. But if you asked me what percentage of my skill, talent, and ability is in use at my current job, I'd say about 6%. In fact, most Americans would probably give a figure less than 30%. Now for me, 6% is just plain sad. That's 94% of me going to waste. Though by many people's standards, I have a great job, I just can't see being here 5 more years, let alone 35 years, climbing the nasty corporate ladder, all for a silly retirement package? Nice try. In my adult life there is one factor here that I don't like and never imagined: I work for someone else. That will all change soon. I had a big reality check when I met with my senior a few weeks ago about my yearly merit-increase. It seems in my class, I've topped out the pay. There's no more money for me to make in my current position. This is it. I've made it. The end of the line. You should have seen me in that meeting when she told me this.

Blink.
Blink. Blink.
"What?"

All I could do was blink. And leave the room. This is the American Dream? Very funny lady. I'm so out of here. That was enough of a kick in the butt for me to stop being so comfortable in my cushy job and make it happen for myself. Thank God I had this realization at 22 and not 43.