Things I Should Know by Now
September 24, 2004

Tomorrow, I go to the dark side of 23. I don't have a problem with aging, I'm just not a big fan of prime numbers. In any case, I think this age will suffice. Still, I am mourning the loss of 22. Twenty-two was so nice, so round, so evenly divided by two.

This past year, I grew leaps and bounds. I didn't graduate from college, but instead graduated from regret (and boy does it feel good). With every year comes new realizations and thus I give you my analysis of the knowledge I should have amassed by now:

  1. Failure to "Repondez S'il Vous Plait" aka "RSVP" is tacky.
  2. No matter how nice, likeable, mean, or detestable you are, people will always find a reason to hate you. People are fickle, get over it. Plus, who cares.
  3. Obedience is a quadrip-tillion-gaggle times better than Sacrifice.
  4. Every problem, big or small, has a solution that originates in prayer.
  5. No amount of counseling, therapy, and chanting will heal the world. Some people (in fact all people) just need Jesus.
  6. Michael Jackson is one of those people.
  7. Life is not fair, and then you die.*
  8. RuPaul is most definitely gay.

  9. There is no glory in evading the police and making it one more day driving with
    expired car tabs. It is shameful (and illegal).
  10. Driving on gasoline fumes because you want to wait until you can fill up at the
    "cheaper" gas station is stupid, dumb and idiotic.
  11. Watching television is generally counter-productive.*
  12. Jeopardy, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and Family Feud will NEVER send me the $98 million check they owe me for all my "correct" answers
  13. I am lactose intolerant.*
  14. $1.50 charges at the cash machine are evil and to be avoided.
  15. Renting is like throwing money down the toilet.
  16. People who talk too much are usually hiding something.
  17. Credit cards are generally bad.
  18. A good mattress is worth the extra bucks.
  19. Naps are a novelty.
  20. O.J. did it.
  21. Having two living parents who love you is a VERY good thing.
  22. Wealth and Riches are not synonymous terms.
  23. 20 pairs of black shoes is probably enough.
  24. Memorizing appointments doesn't work.
  25. There are consequences to staying up late.
  26. Hats make me look silly.
* Realities that when faced with, I usually ignore.

Posted by Ambra at September 24, 2004 7:53 AM in Life
Bookmark and Share





obedience is sacrifice,that's why it's so hard to do.

A great column at any age. Can you help with my problem?

You're still very young, Ambra. You've still got one last year of your "early 20's," so live it up. And you look smashing in a cotillion hat, btw

RuPaul is gay? But she's so hot!

Anyway you still have the insurance rate drop to look forward to, although women don't get the same windfall men do. I'm 27 so all I can do is look forward to death...

Ambra, Happy Birthday! This is my first time commenting here. I just found your blog through Donna. I commented over at her site about how I couldn't tear myself away from your blog the first time I found it.

Anyway, you look great in a hat! Be thankful for these lessons that are learned early in your adult life.


Happy Birthday!


Thanks for commenting! Sorry to keep you from the laundry!

Happy birthday! I turn 30 next week, so in theory, I should be at least seven years smarter than you. I'd prove it, too, if I could just remember anything...

Happy birthday Ambra, my birthday is on the 26th, so we're about a year apart. I have been botherning people since 82'.

Vaya Con Dios, hermana.

Oh honey...
Wait till you turn 25, and you realize you're only 5 years away from the big THREE-OH.

Ambra, you are wise beyond your years. I'd say by about a millenium. You will be well served by your talents in the coming years. I look forward to your continuing blossoming as a thinker, social commentator and fashionista.


Prime numbers aren't really all that bad, but let's get real. Powers of 2 are what it's all about. 16 is cool. So is 32. Only 9 more years!

Regarding "Hats make me look silly" - maybe they do (that one doesn't seem to), but that is a great picture. Must have been hard getting it just right without a tripod though.

Have to take exception(if only you would read Walter Williams)

"Driving on gasoline fumes because you want to wait until you can fill up at the
"cheaper" gas station is stupid, dumb and idiotic."

If prices are rising keep your tank full. If prices are falling, drain the tank.

Bookmark a gasoline futures page.

In either case get one of those emergency supply gas containers that holds about a half gallon and secure it in your trunk with some kind of tie down device.
If you run out of gas don't keep trying to start the car, it drains the fuel system and makes it hard to start.

if you didn't have the opportunity to look silly (like you say you do in hats), then you would lose the delight of NOT looking silly. and the fact that one can NOT look silly also makes looking silly a delight; well, it does if you choose to look at it that way.

however, from an impartial observer, i'm not sure you look that silly after all. i mean, it's not like you're wearing a horizontally striped shirt or anything.

happy birthday!

Happy Birthday girlie!!! And many more!

Happy birth day.
You are rockin' that hat!

Happy B-Day!

If I ran a blog, I would see this as a great opportunity to post my paypal link and beg for donations to the "Me" fund. I suggest making your rapaciousness evident when doing such so as to not be accused of guile.

"Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion." - Benjamin Franklin

[And of course, I jest. paypal isn't as efficient as cash and money orders!]

Years ago when women went to Frisco they would wear a hat and gloves and they looked scrumptous.
You look scrumptous in that hat, even to the eyes of a 73 year old.
I envy your beau. Lucky dog!


in the immortal words of Billy Crystal:

"Dahling, you luug Mah-ba-lous!!"

Happy happy, joy, joy!

Happy Birthday Ambra - and what's with all of these people acting like they are old because they are turning 27, and OMG - 30. C'mon - you people are decades away from being old. You can start talking about aging when you get into your forties ;-)

Aw man, you missed your chance!
{ Comments are now closed for this entry. }


Enter your Email



Why I'm Not a Republican Parts I, II, III, IV
Reflections on the Ill-Read Society
The ROI of a Kid
The Double-Minded Haters
Hip-Hop in Education: Do You Wanna Revolution?
Oh parent Where Art Thou?
Requisite Monthly Rant: the State of the Nation
College Curriculum Gone Wild
Walmart Chronicles
An Open Letter to American Idol
Gonorrhea and the City