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Saturday I partook in one of my favorite pastimes: shopping. However, I must add the disclaimer that "favorite" pretty much goes out the window during the entire month of December because that is when people forget how to be people and instead act like animals (as a note to the Darwinians having their pseudo fun in the comments section about church and state apartheid, we're not animals by the way). Did you know that everyone and their mother had the same brilliant idea to go shopping this Saturday? The coincidence is simply uncanny.

Nevertheless, although my stay was brief, shopping did for me what it always does which is cultive some thought. So I give you a few of my deep insights and observations about the mall:

There are two types of people: people who know how to walk briskly to their destination, and those who do not.
Only 25% of the people at the mall are there to actually shop. The other 75% are there shopping for, um, other things.
The extreme patience necessary to navigate through 55 different types of cable-knit sweaters was dispensed to women in far greater proportions than it was to men.
The only thing more annoying than someone chewing loudly with their mouth open is someone tailgating you in the accessories department.
As long as the Apple Store is around, I may never want a husband. Have you touched the new iMac G5? I think I'm in love. We're talking 700 square feet of Apple-flavored goodness including iPods, Powerbooks, and 30-inch high-definition displays with *gasp* in-store internet access. It's official. I'm quitting my job and moving into the Apple Store where the two of us shall become one and not be put asunder.
There is a running competition among 15-year-old girls to see who can wear the least amount of clothing in the lowest degree weather. It's currently a tie.
Salespeople should be required by law to wait at least 3 nanoseconds before abruptly asking, "Are you looking for something special today?" Why yes I am Suzie. I'm looking for you to ease back just a smidge, thanks.
The entire saga that is being in a shopping mall in the month of December could be made ten times more fun and interesting if everyone had on roller skates.

***sigh***

I know how to walk briskly to my desired destination. My kids, however -- hopeless. For now, any way. They are either monumentally distracted by every little thing, or just hampered by the fact that their legs are a lot shorter than mine. I've learned over the years to be slow so those little legs can keep up.

But man, is it frustrating! And they're my own kids! I feel great sympathay towards anyone at the Mall walking behind us.

Ummm, what is this "shopping" you speak of? Don't you know, Ambra, that true men do not darken the mall doors until late afternoon on Dec. 24?

I don't have a problem with slow movers in the malls... that's what forearm shivers were invented for! (tip of the hat to Fred "The Hammer" Williamson)

Do you use a Mac Ambra? Isn't that taboo in Seattle?

I thought the iMac G4s looked cooler, but the G5s are MUCH more powerful.

I love my new 12" iBook though. This Mac is just dreamy. I will never go back to Windows.

My question is why do meandering people have to walk 4-wide right down the middle of the walkway. A little self-awareness would be helpful. Take a look; if your group is going slower that everyone else, or people a squeezing by giving you dirty looks, try pulling the group to the side a little and walk 2-by-2 instead of 4-wide.

Freelance Web Designers like myself get the joy of shopping when everyone else is at work.

The 'couple' is the worst of the slow walkers. Not only are they taunting you with their lovey-dovey-ness, but they are also walking slower than stopped.

I'd buy a Mac, but only as a toy. IMO it's a waste of money otherwise.

My husband went to Ga. Tech, got a degree in Computer Science, does Unix work, hates windows. I want a Mac so bad but he'd leave me if I ever said that I wanted to step away from windows and move to the world of Apples. Is there help for me?

Hee! How bad is it when Ambra, Queen of the Night is nagging you about being up too late?

Ahem. Yeah, I know, Ambra -- I'm working on it, but I did sleep in very late yesterday, and that threw me off.

So, what's your excuse? ;)

Ron in So cal I see you have some harbored feelings towards meanders. It helps if you use my method which is to treat them like cars and honk. I usually say, "beep beep" or "please merge".

And I agree Ray and Alex, the "traficjammers" as I call them need to learn how to pull over to the side of the shopping mall road. The kissy couple just need to learn how to get their hands off eachother and keep it pushin'. Unless they're a married couple, as I love seeing covenant affection. Ha.

Alex Didn't know you were a designer. And no portfolio. And shame on you for being a designer and not appreciating the beauty that is the mac.

For those who asked (BillyHW), I am both a Mac and PC user, depending on the function. Strangely enough, I first learned how to use a computer on a Mac Classic (yes even in Seattle) back when I was like in 2nd grade, so I'm fairly comfortable on that operating system. Am I of the computer generation or what? We had to give powerpoint presentations in 8th grade.

I use a PC at work and love it and had a PC laptop in college, loved that too. Sony Vaios rock. But now at home it's all Mac. I have an iMac and an iBook, but I think my iBook just died on me. Like literally, just now. It's about 5 years old. I'm totally depressed as I'm about to be traveling for about 3 weeks and I don't know what I'm going to do (or how I'm going to post).

Laptop fund anyone?

Just as an FYI, I believe even at Microsoft, in some departments, they use macs. I won't engage in the debate on which is better. They serve different functions in my opinon. In the music and graphic arts industry, Macs are the standard. But PCs have other strengths, like their pricetag.

But man, the macs are pretttttttty. I invested in an iMac desktop because it was the only thing classy enough that I'd allow to be in my living room and wouldn't be an eyesore.

Kerr-thump!!! (the loud noise you just heard was that of legions of Ambra Nykol's male readers at the mere jest of "...I may never want a husband..."- efforts to revive these young men are taking place nationwide and in Canada, as we speak)

"...ease back just a smidge..." in B-thought = "Let me get both feet inside the store first. Sheesh!"

For design asthetics alone Macs rule, but for functonality and universal appeal the windows or pc platform is better. I am a Graphic Artist and I prefer to design on a Mac, G5 dual processor please. When I do web pages though, I do them on a Windows machine in Dreamweaver. It seems that coding, debugging and interface design is easier on Windows, not to mention I believe the common knowledge is that more individuals and institutions are Windows based than Mac based, therefore you design for the dominant medium.

Yet, I will alwasy be a die hard Mac addict! You have good taste Ambra.

to chris - i guess he fears what he does not know. I hear that Unix folk are somewhat "know-it'alls" in the computer world and if you ever get around more than 2 at a time listening to them speak you'd think they discovered the internet. Ha! I hope he doesn't read the comments - I know he reads the blog!

Here's a secret...

The best time to shop during December is after 5PM on Sundays. The stores stay open late but most folks have gone home by then. You almost don't even know it's the crazy Christmas shopping season. My wife and I have been doing this for years and we get a ton of shopping done in a fraction of the time.

"I want a Mac so bad but he'd leave me if I ever said that I wanted to step away from windows and move to the world of Apples. Is there help for me?"

Tell your husband that Mac OS X is actually a BSD derivative (it is too), so you are using Unix by buying a Mac.

I agree with the late shopping. A lot of people don't use the later hours and it works well. Or just use the internet to shop in your PJs.

"I'm quitting my job and moving into the Apple Store where the two of us shall become one and not be put asunder."

That conjures up interesting images of covenant activities between a woman and a computer...

Someone here mentioned that Macs are good for Graphic design and Music applications, and I don't dispute they are good for that. But Cakewalk SONAR (Music arranging, mixing and just about everything else application) on the PC is the Bee's Knees.