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November 18, 2004 Tradition Every time I hear the word "tradition", I can't help but start humming the underscore to Tevye's solo in "Fiddler on the Roof". And while my referencing a hokey musical clearly pins me as ultra-nerd/hipster/theater-buff/snob, I'm okay with that. Despite my nerdom, there are elements to the opening song in "Fiddler on the Roof" (or the general concepts in traditional Jewish culture) that I can draw truth from to remind me of the necessity to align certain aspects of my life (and ultimately, our society) with some traditionalist ideals. In response to my post on respecting authority, a commenter by the name of The very idea of "children's rights" flies in the face of a proper civilized society, as it puts respect for authority on a back burner. Yes, there are and were many abuses by adult figures, but institutional authority must be established and respected for a society to function. If I had even THOUGHT about calling any of my parents' colleagues by their first names, I would have been banished to the dungeon. Now, there is no problem with kids calling daddy's friend "Joe" instead of "Mr. Smith".Now that'll preach. As rebellious as I can be, I'm a traditionalist at heart. One of my peeves among peeves is the disrespect of elders and authority figures. I think it's putrid and disdainful and we will reap what we've sown if we don't watch our mouths. The family structure is severely fragmented and its disarray is at the heart of what I believe to be Americans' issues with authority. We can't expect people to view the government any differently than what they've experienced in their own families. With all the role swapping going on in America these days, it's no wonder people have little respect for positions and titles. After all, what's a father anyway? And that's not to say that traditional family roles can't been adapted as our culture has evolved. But if we are going to be honest with ourselves, we must admit that we've allowed many fundamental principles to fall by the wayside. Kids are calling their teachers cutsie nicknames and their parents "Joe" and "Suzanne". Sixteen year olds are being emancipated or excuse me, "divorced" from their parents. It's nightmarish. The era of new-agey progressivism has infected our society with individualism and disregard. Commenter Glen brought up the idea of "children's rights" as being something of a stepping stone to the current lack of reverence for authority that is abundant in everything we do. I'm only 23, but when I was growing up, my parents always made it clear that as children, we had no rights. Sure we had the rights God gave us, but trust me when I say that was it. It sounds harsh, but it was a reality check for us. I recall one time when I was around 11-years-old, I decided to buck up against the system and "run away". That was the first sign that I'd been at my white private school one day too long. Black kids don't do the whole running away bit. We knew better. (Caveat: All that stomping up the steps, slamming doors and running away from home crap is so cheesy-Full-House-sitcom-trite. If I ever slammed a door in my parents' house, they would remove it off the hinges on my behalf so they could watch me sleep) So when I made my declaration to abandon ship to my mother, she calmly replied, "That's fine with me, but don't take anything you didn't buy".Stuck I was, as there wasn't one flippin' thing in my possession that I truly owned. I laid my pride down and shut my mouth. I caution us, if we continue to push the envelope by trying to pull the entire rug from under the traditional values coalition, we will not see a society that respects authority. As far as I'm concerned, there are direct correlations between the household and what we're after. Comments Posted by: Alex at November 18, 2004 3:51 AM Would you like to be my daughter in law? Mrs. Boucher :o) Posted by: Donna Boucher at November 18, 2004 8:54 AM It seems that society is reaping the bitter fruit of youth worship. I don't know what can be done to turn this ship around other than going back to the fundamentals: marriage between a man and woman, children (with a mom and dad) respectful of parents/adults and knowing as well as experiencing the consequences of misbehavior. Seems simple and obvious, but society seems to have stumbled off of the path. Posted by: MarcV at November 18, 2004 9:28 AM Running away may be a "white thing" But it isn't every white's thing. I never thought of running away. Nor did my sister. I can't even say it was cause of my parents being strict or something either (They did pay attention to what we were doing, etc so it may be a side effect. But not to our knowledge). It just didn't occur as an option at all for some reason. Posted by: Sarah Schreffler at November 18, 2004 11:18 AM I am so un-hip that it's not funny, but can I still say, "That preaches to me"? Because it surely does. I've been ruminating on this topic a lot lately. I found myself having to do the same kind of mental gymnastics in online political conversations as I do with my kids, who are 3, 6, and 7. The Big Lie that I keep coming up against is, in matters of morals or religion, is "I'd rather think for myself," which is, in essence, a complete rejection of tradition and respect for authority. I ruminated on this at some length, here... the central point: if you think that "thinking for yourself" is a good thing with respect to tradition, then might perhaps you should step back and look at all the thinking that others have already done, that you are rejecting. Posted by: Joan at November 18, 2004 11:20 AM My children have had their situation 'splained to them on a regular basis: "Your friends may live differently, but you live in a benevolent dictatorship. God gave you to me and also gave me authority over you. This means I'm nice enough to say please, but it's really a command. Now go clean your room." I regularly cringe over parents negotiating with children (this is at church) and the last time I heard a child reprimand his parent I almost smacked him (parent and/or child) myself. I get regular compliments regarding the behaviour of my children and these people just don't understand how to achieve the same result. Posted by: Scott at November 18, 2004 12:27 PM Alex: I have stories upon stories. To be honest, I like the whole door open scenario. I mean, what is there to hide? (in many cases, a LOT) Cut the typical apathetic teenager bit already. That's what I tell my brother. MarcV: I'm with you on that. I keeping stressing the family, and I feel like a broken record. Sarah: You're right, the running away bit may be a "white thing" and I know it's not everybody. But gee whiz, it's so idiotic. I mean, some of the runaways these days aren't even justified. You have your own phoneline, tv, playstation and you get an allowance. Is life really that unfair? Pshaww. I'll take a jobfree life any day. Donna: I am certain your son would like to choose his own wife. lol But I'll be your "play"-daughter-in-law if you'd like ;-) Joan: You're right, it's a big lie. The whole "We're letting our children choose their religion" thing bugs me to no end. And people wonder why their kids grow up confused, rejecting the faith. Write it on the doorposts. Scott: preach on brotha! I got the "Well you don't live in Jessica's house, you live in my house" and "as for me in my house, we will serve the Lord and [insert wretched chores]" speeches growing up too. I too have had to restrain myself from inflicting bodily pain on other peoples' children. I say, whop some sense into'em! Posted by: Ambra Nykol at November 18, 2004 3:50 PM "That's fine with me, but don't take anything you didn't buy". Hi Ambra. I'm 33 years old and married now, but do you think your mom would adopt me? Man, is she smart! That line is a keeper. Hope I never have to use it, but it's going in the permanent memory banks, just in case.
Posted by: feeble knees at November 20, 2004 6:32 AM |
 "...playful philosophizing" Dan Leroy, National Review Online
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We had doors to our rooms, but we weren't allowed to close them unless we were getting dressed. And please believe my parents let us know they had the right to open that door to make sure that's what we were doing.
Embarassment.
Oh yeah, 1 Timothy 5:1-2 institutes sort of what you are talking about as far as people addressing adults and their peers appropiately.