"I thought I told you to send a CRACK staff to see us through in Toledo."

Toby,be a good boy and fetch the car.

Edwards means nothing to me, I swear!

Kerry's latest attempt to strengthen the black vote by "whispering sweet nothings in their ears" has had surprisingly little impact. When contacted for comment, a spokesperson for John Edwards said "Senator Edwards does not object to Senator Kerry seeing other me...erm...is this call being recorded?"

"Now wait one cotton picking minute boy! I already paid Jesse and Al enough money to run the show! You just stay busy and play like you actually do something meaningful and well take care of you and the other coloreds later. How's a new car sound? What about some bling?

"Pronounce it again for me please?"

"Kwah-eeh-say"

"No, not that part,the part that's spelled like a swear- I don't want to botch it like I did with Lambeau Field..."

If you want, I've got some tickets to go see 50 Cent.

"Darnit! You said they would buy this hooey. Now what?"

(in public bathroom)
"I believe that your stall is over there, Mr. Kerry"

Krazee:
"Look dude, you can talk about your mama with that "Integrity, integrity, integrity" mess, but you talk about MY mama again, and I'mma dot your eye."

-OR-

Kerry:
"Yes, yes, that's her. She can come in. Theresa only looks like the comedian Carrottop --- Actually he's taller--- and a bit less masculine."

Just go with me on this one Senator. I look like Dr. King. YOU look like JFK. Pretend we're sayin' something important to one another, and let the photographers do the rest!

Good ones.

Anything that starts out with "Wait just a cotton-pickin minute" cracks me up.

A few friends and I have some suspicions that Kerry may be prone to using racial epithets in the secret place......he just has that look. GWB does sometimes too.

"You had me at hello."

"I'm still having trouble putting 'HA!' at the end of sentences the way you do..."

I'd like to find out if what they say about you guys is really true.

"I'll give you whatever you ask. Just make me look good!"

What is the score of the Yankees - Red Sox game?

"Let me explain. I have multiple personalies and they talk amongst themselves sometimes."

"We've got another batch of voter registrations lined up, but we need more of that crack."

Jazz: that's gonna leave a mark!

Rod Howard: how about "ok, which cities are the Red Sox and the Yankees in, again?"

spencer: can you place this classic (comic) movie reference? "Is it twue what zey say about ... you people? {zipper sound} It's twue, it's TWUE!"

Nice "Blazing Saddles" line Spencer (via Casey)

I probably shouldn't post this here but I'm going to. I'll preface by stating what anyone who reads my posts already knows, I'm a white conservative and I have allways have been conservative, but this rhetoric over at Democrat Underground is truly stunning...

There is actually a thread titled "Blacks could have chosen Marx, but they chose Jesus instead".

They are essentially throwing their liberal leftist daggers at folks who are choosing faith over political ideology.

RE: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=1111605#1113925

JOHN KERRY: You know I won't remember you people after the election, right?

Claudio

More Mel Brooks lines that could apply:
"This is going to chafe my wille."

"It's megamaid sir, she's gone from suck to blow."

My vote for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place captions so far. Can't vote for myself due to bias, darn it.

1st - "Darnit! You said they would buy this
hooey. Now what?"

2nd - "I'm still having trouble putting 'HA' at
the end of sentences the way you do."

3rd - "Toby, be a good boy and fetch the car."

"So I get to be the 'Second Black President', right? Can I be 'The Blackerest First President'? If we keep getting called 'black' you promise not to let real black people run for president, right?"

For more humor relief from this brain hurting election, at the expense of the politically humorless of course(you know who they are), GoTo:

http://blog.gleeson.us/sean/2004/10/17/page_of_atonement

And:

http://blog.gleeson.us/sean/2004/10/16/apologizing_to_saddam_is_groovy

Posted by Jim R at October 21, 2004 06:31 PM