September 24, 2004
Things I Should Know by Now

Tomorrow, I go to the dark side of 23. I don't have a problem with aging, I'm just not a big fan of prime numbers. In any case, I think this age will suffice. Still, I am mourning the loss of 22. Twenty-two was so nice, so round, so evenly divided by two.

This past year, I grew leaps and bounds. I didn't graduate from college, but instead graduated from regret (and boy does it feel good). With every year comes new realizations and thus I give you my analysis of the knowledge I should have amassed by now:

  1. Failure to "Repondez S'il Vous Plait" aka "RSVP" is tacky.
  2. No matter how nice, likeable, mean, or detestable you are, people will always find a reason to hate you. People are fickle, get over it. Plus, who cares.
  3. Obedience is a quadrip-tillion-gaggle times better than Sacrifice.
  4. Every problem, big or small, has a solution that originates in prayer.
  5. No amount of counseling, therapy, and chanting will heal the world. Some people (in fact all people) just need Jesus.
  6. Michael Jackson is one of those people.
  7. Life is not fair, and then you die.*
  8. RuPaul is most definitely gay.

  • There is no glory in evading the police and making it one more day driving with
    expired car tabs. It is shameful (and illegal).
  • Driving on gasoline fumes because you want to wait until you can fill up at the
    "cheaper" gas station is stupid, dumb and idiotic.
  • Watching television is generally counter-productive.*
  • Jeopardy, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and Family Feud will NEVER send me the $98 million check they owe me for all my "correct" answers
  • I am lactose intolerant.*
  • $1.50 charges at the cash machine are evil and to be avoided.
  • Renting is like throwing money down the toilet.
  • People who talk too much are usually hiding something.
  • Credit cards are generally bad.
  • A good mattress is worth the extra bucks.
  • Naps are a novelty.
  • O.J. did it.
  • Having two living parents who love you is a VERY good thing.
  • Wealth and Riches are not synonymous terms.
  • 20 pairs of black shoes is probably enough.
  • Memorizing appointments doesn't work.
  • There are consequences to staying up late.
  • Hats make me look silly.* Realities that when faced with, I usually ignore.

  • Posted by Ambra at September 24, 2004 7:53 AM

    Comments

    obedience is sacrifice,that's why it's so hard to do.

    Posted by: Eric at September 28, 2004 1:27 PM


    A great column at any age. Can you help with my problem?

    http://collectingmythoughts.blogspot.com/2004/09/490-women-bloggers-where-are-you-my.html

    Posted by: Norma at September 28, 2004 1:28 PM


    You're still very young, Ambra. You've still got one last year of your "early 20's," so live it up. And you look smashing in a cotillion hat, btw

    Posted by: memer at September 28, 2004 1:28 PM


    RuPaul is gay? But she's so hot!

    Anyway you still have the insurance rate drop to look forward to, although women don't get the same windfall men do. I'm 27 so all I can do is look forward to death...

    Posted by: Jeff the Baptist at September 28, 2004 1:29 PM


    Ambra, Happy Birthday! This is my first time commenting here. I just found your blog through Donna. I commented over at her site about how I couldn't tear myself away from your blog the first time I found it.

    Anyway, you look great in a hat! Be thankful for these lessons that are learned early in your adult life.

    Blessings.

    Posted by: Meredith at September 28, 2004 1:30 PM


    Happy Birthday!

    Posted by: Joe from Jersey at September 28, 2004 1:31 PM


    Meredith,

    Thanks for commenting! Sorry to keep you from the laundry!

    Posted by: Ambra Nykol at September 28, 2004 1:31 PM


    Happy birthday! I turn 30 next week, so in theory, I should be at least seven years smarter than you. I'd prove it, too, if I could just remember anything...

    Posted by: Jared at September 28, 2004 1:32 PM


    Happy birthday Ambra, my birthday is on the 26th, so we're about a year apart. I have been botherning people since 82'.

    Posted by: Ade at September 28, 2004 1:34 PM


    Vaya Con Dios, hermana.

    Posted by: Bijan at September 28, 2004 1:34 PM


    Oh honey...
    Wait till you turn 25, and you realize you're only 5 years away from the big THREE-OH.

    Posted by: Julie Ann Fidler at September 28, 2004 1:35 PM


    Ambra, you are wise beyond your years. I'd say by about a millenium. You will be well served by your talents in the coming years. I look forward to your continuing blossoming as a thinker, social commentator and fashionista.

    Posted by: Kevin Leo at September 28, 2004 1:35 PM


    Ambra,

    Prime numbers aren't really all that bad, but let's get real. Powers of 2 are what it's all about. 16 is cool. So is 32. Only 9 more years!

    Regarding "Hats make me look silly" - maybe they do (that one doesn't seem to), but that is a great picture. Must have been hard getting it just right without a tripod though.

    Posted by: Ron in So Cal at September 28, 2004 1:36 PM


    Have to take exception(if only you would read Walter Williams)

    "Driving on gasoline fumes because you want to wait until you can fill up at the
    "cheaper" gas station is stupid, dumb and idiotic."

    If prices are rising keep your tank full. If prices are falling, drain the tank.

    Bookmark a gasoline futures page.

    In either case get one of those emergency supply gas containers that holds about a half gallon and secure it in your trunk with some kind of tie down device.
    If you run out of gas don't keep trying to start the car, it drains the fuel system and makes it hard to start.

    Posted by: Vanyogan at September 28, 2004 1:36 PM


    if you didn't have the opportunity to look silly (like you say you do in hats), then you would lose the delight of NOT looking silly. and the fact that one can NOT look silly also makes looking silly a delight; well, it does if you choose to look at it that way.

    however, from an impartial observer, i'm not sure you look that silly after all. i mean, it's not like you're wearing a horizontally striped shirt or anything.

    happy birthday!

    Posted by: Brenton at September 28, 2004 1:37 PM


    Happy Birthday girlie!!! And many more!

    Posted by: Janae at September 28, 2004 1:37 PM


    Happy birth day.
    You are rockin' that hat!

    Posted by: Darkstar at September 28, 2004 1:40 PM


    Happy B-Day!

    If I ran a blog, I would see this as a great opportunity to post my paypal link and beg for donations to the "Me" fund. I suggest making your rapaciousness evident when doing such so as to not be accused of guile.

    "Who is rich? He who rejoices in his portion." - Benjamin Franklin

    [And of course, I jest. paypal isn't as efficient as cash and money orders!]

    Posted by: Alex at September 28, 2004 1:40 PM


    Years ago when women went to Frisco they would wear a hat and gloves and they looked scrumptous.
    You look scrumptous in that hat, even to the eyes of a 73 year old.
    I envy your beau. Lucky dog!

    Posted by: Walter E. Wallis at September 28, 2004 1:41 PM


    Silly?


    in the immortal words of Billy Crystal:

    "Dahling, you luug Mah-ba-lous!!"

    Happy happy, joy, joy!

    Posted by: Byron at September 28, 2004 1:41 PM


    Happy Birthday Ambra - and what's with all of these people acting like they are old because they are turning 27, and OMG - 30. C'mon - you people are decades away from being old. You can start talking about aging when you get into your forties ;-)

    Posted by: David at September 29, 2004 11:27 AM


    Posted by: Pete at November 2, 2004 2:01 PM