Last month I began what looks to be a battle of epic proportions. The battle against the metermaids. I mentioned last month how I had been wrongly ticketed for parking in an "unmarked crosswalk". That's right. A crosswalk that was unmarked. A crosswalk with NO MARKINGS. Nadda. A crosswalk so ambiguous, pedestrians don't even know it's there. It doesn't get more irritating than that. Well, actually, it does. In 2001, I got a ticket for wrongly parking in a spot I was never in, by a phantom metermaid who SENT me the ticket in the mail. When I showed up in court to contest it, the judge dismissed it because the guy that wrote it had a reputation for writing illegitamate parking tickets. To which the judge noted, "That guy would even write his own MOTHER a ticket." That's another story. In any case, I contested my crosswalk ticket most happily.

So I received a letter a few weeks ago informing me I had been assigned a "pre-trial hearing" date to determine if I have enough of a case to have a real trial. If we are unable to "settle" then we'll go to trial. A pre-trial hearing for a $38 parking ticket people!!! What a stinking waste of my time. These people are playing games right now, but they have no idea I'm about to go Perry Mason on their butts. Two can play this game. The City of Seattle has encountered one of its hard-headed citizens again. I take my finances very seriously and the City of Seattle won't be getting $38 from me because one of their employees in the Police Department was having a bad day and feeling a bit indignant. They made sure to note on the letter, "If you wish to pay the ticket at this time you may do so by checking here and enclosing payment for the full amount." Translated: We're sending you to a pre-trial hearing because we're stalling. We're hoping that you'll get ticked off and just pay us (which is what we really wanted in the first place) so we can pay the salaries of some ineffective city council members and continue to waste dollars doing absolutely nothing.

Indeed not. I will be attending my "pre-trial" hearing with evidence in tow. This metermaid regime is goin' down baby.