Well folks, it's been awhile since I last shared some thoughts on the fashion trends of today. And while yes, Uggs are still hot, I've located another nemesis. Well, two.

The Miniskirt Trend
So if you're alive and breathing, I'm certain you've been to the mall or at least in a public setting recently. I also don't doubt you've spotted the resurgence of one of the most horrific trends of the 21st century: The miniskirt. And might I add, it's the mini mini skirt trend. These skirts are so short you'd mistake them for belts. Though this trend is not new, I have a hard time believing miniskirts of the 70's were as short as these hootchie-fly skirts girls (and GROWN women) are wearing these days. My usual comment to ladies who feel the need to expose the upper fatty part of their legs (AKA their butt) while wearing these skirts is, "Don't bend over sweetie." And to think that sane mothers actually let their daughters leave the HOUSE with these things on is just sickening to me. Think I'm being too conservative? Now look, I am a 22-year-old single woman with a severe addiction to spending money in retail clothing and shoe establishments. I won't lie, I love fashion, and I love certain trends and styling. Though I have arguably crossed the line on "ultra-conservative dress" in the minds of most of the women in my church born before 1861, I certainly am modest. Always. That's the least a lot of young women can say these days. If you've entered the doors of most fashion retailers, these little scraps of fabric they call skirts are EVERYWHERE. Once the trend subsides, perhaps stores can sell them as dishrags.

The Low-Rise Pants Trend
"Hey you! Yeah you over there with the oh-so-cute Abercrombie & Fitch courderoys on. Nice pants, I like the color, but I can see your THONG! Please kindly adjust yourself so I do not have to stare at your undergarments." I cannot recall the number of times my enjoyment of a very good double bacon cheeseburger has been ruined by some chick bending over to tie her shoe and exposing her hind parts to me. At first I thought people just didn't know, but now it has become a full-blown trend to expose your underwear. Seriously. People do this intentionally and it is slutty and floosie-like behavior at best. There is a proper way to wear low-rise pants, and if you can't abide by the rules, then don't wear them at all. Oh, and another thing. For all you women who have a cellulite dilemma in the lower waist back and frontal areas (not judging the dilemma, just stating the facts), please refrain from wearing low-rise pants PERIOD. They are not for everyone. Trust me, this is for your own good. It does not make you look your best. Whew, okay, there I said it.