Things That Bother Me

1. People who don't know how to yield on the sidewalk
   
2. Macrome anything
   
3. Parents who engage in dialogue with their 2-year-old in the grocery store aisle about potential discipline, "Now, Aaron, I'm going to need you to stop knocking the cans of the shelves please. Mommy's going to count to five or else you're going to have a time-out" This is not the Dr. Phil show so please, stop with the psychology.
   
4. Trendy Books (A Purpose-Driven Life, Fast Food Nation, you get the jist)
   
5. People who stand in the same place and relentlessly pass out flyers to their latest "Poetry Jam", which is usually an excuse for a bunch of pseudo-deep people to wrap cloth around their heads and get together in a dark room, under the haze of incense and scent of patchouli, and stroke eachother's artistic egos, snap their fingers and complain about opression.
   
6. Metermaids = evil spawn of satan
   
7. People who talk on their cell phones in restaurants
   
8. People who eat cottage cheese and pineapples (gross!)
   
9. Internet shorthand (So, R U gonna go 2 the store 2day? OK, I'll brb. LOL)
   
10. NAACP

11. When Halatosis Jim tries to invade my personal space by talking to me within 2 milimeters of my face
    
12. 38-year-old women who shop in the Junior's department
    
13. Booger Eaters
    
14. Public wedgie-pickers
    
15. People who don't know the difference between merge and yield
    
16. People who read the nutritional facts of the very good meal I'm about to enjoy out loud to me, "Did you know this has 300 grams of fat and 100 mg's of salt!? Ohmygoodness and the calories!" Shuddup already and let me be. I have a good metabolism okay.
    
17. Belligerent Bikeriders