nykola.com | bothering people since 1981

I have often discussed my lack of appreciation for certain social and political organizations. These are not just any organizations. Some of these are organizations whose life's work is to beat the air about every un-relevant issue under the sun. Others have somehow gone bad over the years. All of them have postured themselves in a position of insane influence on the culture. I present my beginning list of Tools of the 21st Century:

The NAACP

This should not come as a suprise to anyone who's ever graced this website. While the NAACP may have at one point been a worthwhile and worthy organization, they have now reduced themselves to a useless, mindless, and lawsuit happy, pound of opportunistic flesh. This organization is doing absolutely nothing to advance "colored people". Instead, they advance themselves and their own agenda through illegitimate lawsuits, complaints, and public displays of embarrassment. Let's keep in mind, this is an organization whose entire livelihood is determined by lawsuit settlements, donations, and membership dues. Not a good combination if you ask me. As La Shawn Barber so eloquently writes, kill the dinoasaur!

PETA
Everytime I hear of this organazation's silly antics, it makes me want to go slap somebody and eat a hamburger. If this organization isn't complaining about fur coats or Halle Berry being a spokeswoman for the animal-testing Revlon company, then they're busy passing out religious tracts (yes, they are a religion) about vegetarianism and veganism to school children. I cannot think of one thing this organization does that is admirable or legitimate. They place animals on the same level as humans and tell kids their mother is wicked because she cooks chicken for dinner. We all have better things to do with our time and bigger fish to fry. Yes, yummy fish. Fish that was killed by humans so that I could enjoy it in my tummy. Fish that is on this very Earth for the purposes of providing nourishment to those who choose to eat it. There's nothing wrong with being a vegetarian, but for the love of all things pure, do not proselytize the children. Every year it seems their agenda teeters on the line of complete pychopathy and their members have become more and more belligerant. If PETA had their way, we'd all be worshipping animals.

Planned Parenthood

Many organizations started out with a good foundation and later morphed into something obsolete. This is not the case for Planned Parenthood. Since its inception, Planned Parenthood has been downright evil. Not only is this the same organization that singlehandedly led the abortion-movement to the disgusting and acceptable "norm" it is in our present society, they also are on a mission to play God to the world through sterilazation in third world countries, offering abortions to teenager girls without parental consent,and handing out condoms to 12-year old boys. Although they would deny it, the roots of Planned Parenthood are racist. Its founder, Margaret Sanger, was on a mission to rid the world of people of color through "family planning". This is an organization that has done obscene amounts of harm to this country and they get lots of money donated to do it. The madness needs to be exposed.

Greenpeace

They claim to "give the Earth a voice". Boys and girls, please stop with this silliness. The Earth does not need a voice. The Earth is not a human. Now maybe those who live in Nebarska or other landlocked parts of the country haven't been exposed to enough of GreenPeace to recognize how much they deserve to be on this list. But I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, where we spend MILLIONS of dollars saving whales. I watched as most news-worthy events were completely pre-empted so that Northwest news stations could cover the transport of "Keiko the killer whale" back to her home in Greenland. Give me a break! There are people starving in the Sudan and we concern ourselves with silly whales who shouldn't have been in captivity in the first place. Greenpeace has found a unique partnership with unsuspecting college students hungry for a cause. They usually roam about highly populated areas of Seattle and other major cities handing out literature and greeting passerbys with the phrase, "Do you have a moment for Greenpeace?", to which I always reply, "Nope, I sure don't." Their mission statement includes the fact that they use, "non-violent, creative confrontation to expose global environmental problems, and force solutions for a green and peaceful future". Translated: they block highways, hang from construction cranes, spray paint buildings and cause major back-ups on highway overpasses in protest of companies who cut down trees. Stop wasting my tax dollars and my time.

The American Cancer Society
I might get hated for this but I don't care. ACS is one of the absolute wealthiest non-profit organizations in the world. Millionaires and billionaires sit on their board. Yet, I find something inherently wrong with any organization whose foremost purpose is to research and find a cure for a disease. Donations pour in year after from people who've lost loved ones and corporate sponsors all hoping to do their part in finding a cure for cancer, or at least make life better for those living with it. So what happens when the cure is found (if it hasn't been found already)? Do we disband the organization and file for unemployment? Can you smell the potential conflict of interest? Well I do. I'm all for finding a cure for cancer as I've lost loved ones too. I am also smart enough to recognize that when an organization spends upwards of 60% of their annual fund on overhead costs, new buildings, and luxiourious salaries, something isn't right. Don't think Enron is the only one capable of scandal.