I tried to hold off, but I couldn't any longer. This time I was in the passenger seat when I snapped this picture (still moving of course hence the blurriness) of this nightmare sitting outside none other than a local Seattle Starbucks. Since you may not be able to see the fullness of the details, let me walk you through this one.

Here we have a perpetual James Brown "wannabe". I know what you're thinking, "this can't be a real person". So sorry to inform you dear reader that yes indeed, James' brother lives in Seattle. Since he seems destined for stardom, I'm sure he won't mind starring on my smallish website for a few fashion whacks. Let's just call him "James Jr."

First off, this outfit just offends on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin. But as I did with my last spotting of a fashion-nightmare, let's start with the boots. No, then again, as bad as his boots may be, there is something about this photo that's more intrusive than the boots; it's the hair.

1) The hair. Not perms, but PERMANENTS went out with another era. This hairstyle is just atrocious. If James Brown can't pull it off, just what makes "James Jr." think he can do it? Look above his forehead. Are those BANGS??? Why yes they are! In fact, it seems we're looking at the rock of Gibraltar. At any minute I expected to see little men running off the top of the cliff, parachuting into the air. Absolutely under no circumstances should anyone ever think to leave the house with their hair looking like this. The world can only take one James. And these days, it seems he can't even take himself. I am deeply disturbed by this hairstyle.

2) The shirt. Am I mistaken, or was that shirt made from my grandmother's drapes? Aside from the fact that it was an 88-degree day, and this shirt was 57 pounds heavy and long-sleeved, under no circumstances should paisley, flowers, or any sort of comforter-looking material be used a. in such abundance b. on a man.

3) The belt. This is harder to see in the pic, but it's that big reflecting thing you see on his waist. Actually, that is just the buckle. James Jr. seems to think he's some sort of superhero because as big as that gigantic Muhammad Ali starter-kit medallion around his waist is, it had better have some special powers. My best guess, he keeps his Aqua Net hairspray in there.

4) The pants. Again, not clear from the pic, but James Jr. here seems to have forgotten that it's not cool to wear tight pants. Not only are they tight, just where's the flood? When you sit down, your pants should not become capris. Oh but it gets worse. I'd be fine with James wearing tight capris, if they didn't reveal these 70's throwback boots. Which leads me to number five.

5) The boots. There are only certain people who are allowed to wear maroon lacquered cowboy boots. Those people are not black and they don't live in Seattle. I would have nothing against the boots if they didn't have 3-inch heels. The picture doesn't show this, but trust me they're there. This is completely unacceptable. No high-heels on men. Period.

Thus ends my fashion critique for the month. My camera will continue to be on the prowl. And as a last thought folks, really, we've just got to better.

[The author apologizes for the perceived frivolity of this post. Do understand that for her, fashion is a very serious matter and she feels a heavy burden to release the masses from fashion victimhood, however will get back to the regularly scheduled program of things of a more serious nature--like why the NAACP needs to retire.]