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1/5/2004
To My Dental Billing Coordinator
This is letter week at nykola.com. So as not to go into the new year with unforgiveness, I am writing letters to all my less than favorite people. I believe posting these letters is part of the healing process. Praise God for redemption.
Dear Monica,
Something very bad happened today. I woke up with a tooth ache. Why is this bad? Not because I don't like pain, not because I don't like Dentists (although on a bad day that could've been reason enough). No Monica, it's bad because this means that I might need to see you. Again. See Monica, ever since we began our beautiful friendship last year, you have done nothing but cause me pain. Pain Monica. Now I like my dentist. He's a cool guy. He's a Christian. I figured, where could I go wrong? But then I had to pay, and that led me to deal with you. Now I gave you the benefit of the doubt, even though I read in your bio that you were on the committee here in Seattle to save that dumb old ferry boat the Kalakala. I figured "oh she's just another tree-hugger" Ha ha, too bad you guys lost it at the Auction. I would've been sad for you had you have been nice to me.
At first I decided not to take offense when you wouldn't return my calls. I even considered disguising my voice every now and then. I figured if First Lady Laura Bush was calling, maybe, just maybe you'd come to the phone. But after about 10 times, I started to take it personal Monica. I could have dealt with your lack of followthrough and been on my merry way. But no. I soon realized that you were incompetent and that really bothered me. I actually started to question your integrity and that's just not cool. Not Cool Monica! I actually had to pray before every time that I saw you just so I could find the right words to address you cordially, which you however failed to do for me but that's okay, I just wanted to pay my dental bill Monica. I'm trying to give your company money and you won't answer my phone calls. Something about this seemed strange. Boy, you sure gotta hate that harassment by customers to give you their money. Such a pain we are I know. I even wrote you a letter about my concern making all attempts to be civil in spite of the fact that I really wanted to clock you. But I'm a Christian, and Christians don't clock people. Well, at least not this one. I even resisted the urge to call you not nice things to your face. Or even worse, Christianese words like "the enemy" or "the devil". No Monica, you aren't worthy of those titles. I've come across much worse.
Then I got my bill Monica. Hmm, perhaps one too many zeros for my taste but I figured there must've been a mistake. And there was a mistake. Another MISTAKE Monica. You forgot to contact my health insurance company. Now I'm no genius, but I'm thinking this is a pretty important aspect of the dental industry. That time it involved my hard-earned cash. Here I am trying to be a good steward of my resources and you tried to stiff me. This was on top of the fact that you sent me my bill 8 months after my appointment. Is it just me Monica, or are you not good at this? May I suggest another profession? Perhaps this is not your calling. I'm gonna seek God on your behalf that you find something better and quit. Because you're bad at this Monica. Really bad. I beg you, on behalf of patients with lousy Billing coordinators across America, just say No. I'm sure Dr. B. will understand. I don't think he likes you very much either. But Jesus loves you. And I do too. Well, I'm learning.
Signed, A Bitter Concerned Patient,
Ambra
posted by ambra at 1/5/2004 02:41:46 PM | link to this entry |
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